It was 4:00 when I got home I walked in the door not thinking anyone would be home but to my surprise Lucas and most of the football team were In the living room , all there gazes when to me then to my bloody arms and neck they looked horrified but Lucas had seen this before I just told him not to worry he did but he didn't question it he just sighed and quietly said "you good" they all looked to him

 Flinn shouted " what the fuck she walks in here covered in blood and scratch marks and you say you good what the hell"

 I snorted " trust me he's seen a lot worse and I'm fine it's not the first time" I walked into the kitchen grabbed a tea towel and wet it under the tap then squeezed it out to just keep it damp, I learned against the sick sighed and looked around the room my bag caught my eye as it had fallen over , ill just pick it up later. I walked back into the living room took my cardigan off and started to wipe the blood off all of them looking at me as I asked Lucas "you know what time emery is getting home?" 

he nodded and answered as he came to help me clean up my arms 

" yeah around six she's going to jess's house for a little" I nodded back 

"okay well thanks for helping but I think I'm just going to go have a shower" a whistle came from the boys I cracked a grin a that 

but Lucas groaned and just whispered "okay, and shut up Flinn" 

"I mean he's right dude come on she's hot" 

he snaped his head to someone else and shouted " aren't you gay"

 the guy snickered "bi thanks and she may be hot but I'm taken asswipe" Lucas just sat down and I ran upstairs to shower.

 As I stepped in to the hot water I winced but embraced the pain it felt good the feeling almost distracted me from the memories but just as that thought passed so did the others the bad ones then the feeling came back I tried to keep quiet by adding more pain I grabbed the scissors and cut down my face but I let out a scream by accident i dint think they'd heard me but in the next three minutes Lucas was banging at the door I could hear the other boys talking out there too 

"Alina unlock the door what's wrong what happened" he begged but I didn't want him to see the cut I just put on my face then he yelled " I will break this door down if you don't let me in"

 I wanted to keep my door so I stepped out leaving the water on and grabbed a towel wiped my tears and slowly unlocked the door my hand still shaking and opened the door enough for there to be a small gap 

"Alina open the fucking door properly , I will push it open"

 he was wright there he could see it the cut he'd seen the scratched but never the bleeding cuts especially on my face but I still opened it and saw all of them there I had my face at an angle he could see " see I'm fine nothings wrong"

 " bullshit turn your head" and I did his face dropped " what the actual fuck Alina"

 " no why the actual fuck- are there a shit ton of boys in my room" 

one of them said loud enough for us all to hear " hey baby I'm all man"

 I struck a bored looked at him looked him up and down and said " I've slept with people more man then you" he wasn't offended

 he just chuckled saying " feisty I like it" I looked back to Lucas and opened my mouth but someone cut me off before I could speak 

" no Lucas is right what the fuck happened" it was Marco my heart fluttered I once again went to speak but no Lucas cut me off " please tell me you didn't do that please tell me your not fucked up enough to cut your own face" 

my face completely dropped anger filled me my heartbeat pounded against my head how dare he , I'm fucked what about him what about all the times ive had to calm him down so he didnt lose it in front if the kids i may be messed up but i got help and im still getting help im just triggered off today , ill be fine tomorrow but how dare he that hurt his words sent a stab right to my heart 

 " excuse me, get the fuck out Lucas , all of you get the fuck out before I actually do some damage , how fucking dare you Lucas I'm fucked up, says the one who can't even handle a little anger before going all out fuck you fuck all of you" and with that I slammed the bathroom door shut and got back in the shower and ignored them

 he can get his on ride tomorrow if I'm so fucked up 

hes a little bitch