Ayame Tokugawa was not a woman known for her kindness.

In fact, when it came to her day to day life, there were many times she would have been described as a monster. It was no secret that she didn’t care to be considerate of others, and whilst disagreeable in tone, it was an attitude that had gotten her through childhood in one piece.

Ayame Tokugawa’s feelings were broken and numb, even if she didn’t recognize it. Typically unable to function as a human being would, perhaps she had simply gotten used to forcing all of her tumultuous emotions deep into the pit of her stomach. After years of practice swallowing anger and fear, it was bound to take a toll. It always did.

But as it was with the humans in this world, monsters, too, weren’t always quite as clear-cut as they may have been made out to be in fairy tales or ghost stories. Not all monsters were created in the image of evil, and not all humans were created in the image of goodness, either. There was always a chance for redemption, though when it came to it, Ayame would always talk herself out of changing for the preservation of sanity.

Somehow, though, despite all of her attempts to run from the sensation of compassion, Ayame knew she wasn't always going to be this way. She couldn’t explain how she knew such a thing, especially given that the world had done nothing but prove itself to be a cruel, unforgiving place; but there, somewhere buried deep in her chest, was a flicker of a spark that threatened to set her body ablaze with emotions, compassion for others, and experience those tender, beautiful feelings that would cleanse her black heart to gold.

In Ayame’s daily life, there lay naught but death, destruction and anguish; and the latter two subjects were usually of her own design. She had no problem killing or maiming to get where she wanted to be – a learned trait which, in her youth, she both enjoyed and needed. But as we get older, the nightmares always get worse. That was something Ayame was certainly going to find out in her later life.

There were going to be countless nights that included squirming with regret and boiling in her anguish. There would be times where her throat would be raw from all of the crying; times when the worthlessness and hopelessness of her past would threaten to open its jaws and swallow her whole. Whispers of the dead would stick in her ears; swirls of the trauma she went through and caused others would seem unending whenever she would close her eyes.

But the Ayame Tokugawa that currently resided in the world didn't know this yet, and for that reason, her actions still made her an unfeeling, uncaring monster; determined to press on and survive each day with a tenacity worthy of a viper. Even if you'd warned her about all of the sorrow she would endure, she would have gouged your eyes out for assuming you knew her better than she knew herself. 

That was the kind of monster Ayame Tokugawa was – reckless.