Jesse opened the curtains in the master bedroom with an energy that suggested he was mad about something. Klaus woke up when something knocked over.

Jesse shouted, “It’s eight-thirty! You slept in today.” 

Klaus smooshed a pillow over his face. 

“Klaus!” Jesse barked.

“I’m up.”

“Good,” Jesse stomped across the bedroom.

“I’m apologizing,” Klaus grumbled. “I don’t remember what I did, but I’m apologizing.”

A particularly loud wooden thud rolled into a metal clang. 

“How bad was I?” asked Klaus.

Jesse stood next to Klaus’ side of the bed, “How much do you remember?”

“I remember hooking up with the captive…oh, no!”

“Yeah, you did that,” said Jesse.

Klaus sighed, “He’s probably never going to talk to me again.” 

“Well…” 

“Jesse! You have no idea how bad I wanted him.”

“I think you were sober for that,” Jesse tossed something so hard that it broke. “You must have been inbetween your late afternoon and early evening benders? Early evening and late night? I can’t tell anymore. I’m not upset that you banged Magnus.”

“Is Magnus upset that I banged Magnus?” asked Klaus.

“He’s not up yet,” Jesse futzed with the bottles on Klaus' nightstand. “I took him back to his room, and he seemed fine. I’m not worried about that, I think we can salvage it.”

“Ugh…”

“I’m not inclined to help you after what you pulled last night,” said Jesse. “Do you remember?”

Klaus curled himself into a ball. 

Jesse leaned on his hip, “So, you and Magnus did…something in your bedroom. Don’t tell me because I don’t want to know. I took him back to his room, came back here, and you were completely obliterated. I’m counting this as the ‘pre-bedtime bender’ in the timeline of events. You’re nothing if not consistent!”

“Ugh,” Klaus burrowed into his pillow.

“Mhm,” said Jesse. “I personally thought we were past this stage? It’s been what, two months? Since we did knife tricks?”

Klaus hid his face in his hands, “I remember.”

“So, you’re literally screaming at me, and I cannot understand what you’re saying, because it’s in French and I don’t speak French,” said Jesse. “This isn’t the first time I’ve explained this to you.”

“I’m sorry…” Klaus mumbled

“Oh, no,” Jesse laughed. “Hold on. You decided it was a good idea to…”

“Stop, Jesse.”

“No, let me finish.”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Klaus shouted.

“Do you remember?” asked Jesse.

“Yes,” Klaus moaned. 

Jesse clicked away. There was a shuffle, which Klaus tried to ignore. 

“Here,” Jesse tossed something on the bed, and Klaus knew it was one of his knives. He remembered throwing them all over his bedroom last night. 

Klaus sighed, “Jesse, I make mistakes when I drink.”

“Yeah?” Jesse taunted. “What were you thinking! You could have hurt me trying to show off. You could have hurt yourself!”

“I should be so lucky.”

Jesse ignored him, “I’m not letting the maids in here when it’s like this, they’ll freak out. You gotta at least put all the weapons away. You hear me?”

Klaus rolled towards his butler, “Jesse?”

“Yes, Klaus?”

“I think I might have a drinking problem.”

Jesse took a two-fisted grip on what he was about to say and stuffed it back inside, “Get out of bed, pull these knives out of the furniture, and put them back where they came from so I can bring the maids in here. You smell like a cum bucket.”

“Jesse?”

“Yes, Klaus?”

“I only show off my knife tricks to people I can trust. You should feel honored.”

“I’m honored,” said Jesse.

“Jesse?”

“Klaus…you’re…you’re on thin ice.”

“Did I embarrass myself last night?” Klaus asked.

Jesse thought about it, “Not in front of me.”

“Thanks, Jesse.”