I awaken to darkness, groggy as usual. I’m thankful for the dark, my bedroom usually isn’t this dark which makes it harder to sleep. My dreams were pleasant, I didn’t want to end it just yet, so I decide to go back to sleep. I close my eyes and turn onto my side, but instead of my soft pillow my head meets a cold concrete, and I feel a slight twinge of pain from knocking it against it. Concrete? Why am I on concrete? I sit up and realize that my room Is never this dark, even at night, which means I’m not in my room.

Confused, I get up, but I still can’t see anything. I take a tentative step in front of me, hoping to find anything. After a few more shuffles I find a wall of concrete. I decide my best bet is to follow it, eventually I will find something. The wall is curved, and I make what I believe is a circle around a room before discovering an opening in the wall. It’s another tunnel I presume but is more like a tube as it is two feet off the ground and two feet in diameter. I climb into it, unsure of where I am crawling to, or even where I am crawling away from.

The tube eventually ended, and I had to tentatively climbed out of it. I yelped as I leaped away when a loud clang rang out as I exited the tunnel. I realized I stepped on a metal plate, causing it to clatter and ring out. I went back to the wall I climbed out of and decided to try following it to the right, hoping I’ll find an exit. I tried not to think about what I maybe drudging through as my feet splash. I don’t know how long I been walking for before I passed another tube-tunnel, this one with a faint light in it. I climbed in eagerly and rushed through it, finding more light on the other side. As I jumped out of the tunnel, I noticed a rusty old grate the size of the tunnel I just exited laying haphazardly on the ground. I turn left towards the light, running as fast as I can, and I find myself outside.

The light I had been running towards was the Downtown Tulsa? What am I doing in a tunnel in Downtown Tulsa? I look for the nearest streetlight and walk towards it, zipping up my jacket and hunching my shoulders, trying to obscure my figure. I shouldn’t be out here at night. Tulsa made its way in to the top 50 most violent cities in the U.S., and North Tulsa, where Downtown resides, is the center of that statistic. As nice as it is, it is still not a safe place for a girl to be walking alone at night, especially one of my stature. At 5’2’ and 140lbs, I’m a “kidnap meal”. I scan my surroundings as I make my way to the street, adjusting my path so as not to step on any of the homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk.

I don’t even recognize the street I am on, meaning this is a part of downtown I have been to before. That makes me even more nervous. I stumble upon a bar and decide being around more people, even if drunk and unruly, is better than being out in the open on the street. When I walk in I find not many people are left In the place. The bartender yells “we’re closing!” without even looking up from his task of cleaning up his bar.

I walk up to the bar, and he shoots me a bewildered look as I sit on one of the stools. I raise my hands in surrender, “I’m not here for alcohol. I’m in trouble and need help. Please, can I borrow a phone?” I please with him. His face softens as he reaches into his pocket, handing over his phone, unlocking it for me. “Thank you so much!” I say as I take it. I try dialing my dad first, he always knows what to do. I feel relief as I lift it to my ear, ready to go home, but am faced with disappointment as it goes to voicemail. I try my mom. They’re always together, so if one doesn’t answer, the other typically will. Nothing. I start to panic, and frantically switch back and forth between the two numbers hoping one will answer. After five minutes, I give up and dial Dean’s number. He lives a lot closer anyway, he’ll be able to get me in no time. As I dial his number my eyes glance over the clock on the phone. 2:47 A.M. I guess it makes sense why my parents aren’t answering? But they always told me they can’t sleep until I am home…

I dial Dean’s number again, and breath a sigh of relief when I am met with a very groggy “Hello?”.

“Dean, I’m sorry to wake you up but I really need your help, I need you to borrow Jeremiah’s car and pick me up. I’m not that far, I’m downtown at…” I look around the place to try to identify where the hell I am. “Davies” The bartender said as he wiped the counter.

“Thank you! Dean I’m at a place called Davies, can you please pick me up?” As I put my ear back up to the phone, I hear a commotion on the other end. “Yes, yes I’ll be there! Just stay right there, don’t move!” His voice is frantic, and I can tell he’s rushing around his room getting ready to leave. I hear another voice in the background, his roommate Jeremiah, asking Dean if he’s sure it’s me, to which Dean enthusiastically confirms it is. “Babe? I’m going to let you go, this isn’t my phone, I should probably give it back. I love you, thank you for coming to get me.

“Okay, but please don’t leave the place, We’ll be there soon, were in the car right now, okay? Please just stay safe, I love you” Dean says.

“I love you too. I will, I promise. I’ll see you when you get here” I say back, trying to reassure him. Something in his voice unsettles me. I expected confusion and a little bit of worry, but he sounded like he was desperate, terrified.

What have I done?

I hand the bartender his phone back and thank him again for his help. “My boyfriend and his roommate are on their way to come get me; they’ll be here soon. Can I please stay in here until they arrive?”

“That’s fine, I’m still cleaning up anyway. Everything okay?” He asks, not wanting to pry too much. I stare at him for a second, pondering his question. “I- I don’t really know. I can’t remember the last several hours. I don’t know where I have been or why. I’m missing about twelve hours at this point. I don’t think anything bad happened but to be honest, I just don’t know.”

“Sounds to me like you partied too much” he says absentmindedly as he sweeps the floor.

“No, I don’t do that stuff. I’m underaged, and I don’t mess with drugs that aren’t prescribed to me.” He takes in what I said and just shrugs, as if he heard me but he doesn’t really believe me. I don’t really care if he does or doesn’t.

What was I doing? How did I end up here? I tried to figure out what it was I was doing that lead me here.  I looked down at the ragged green jacket I was wearing. It’s Dean’s, one of the ones I stole from him. The edges of the sleeves were shredded, years of use and love, and torn even more by me and my bad habits.

Dean. I was at Dean’s apartment. I typically am on a school day. The drive home is too far away, to be worth anything except a waste of gas, so I hang out at his between classes, and after because I love him of course. I was there between classes, wasting time. I remember grabbing some of my college tech stickers and putting them on his laptop to annoy and tease him. Then I left for class. That’s when things get fuzzy. Why can’t I remember what happened after that?

A rush of air and a loud “Moira!” snaps me out of my head, and I look up to see Dean at the door. He rushes over to me and grabs me in a hug. I wrap my arms around him and breathe in. His smell calms me. “I’m really sorry for waking you up this late, but I really don’t know what happened” I said.

“Don’t. I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re safe. I’ll always come for you; you know that. I’m just so happy you’re safe. His hold on me becomes tighter, and I feel moisture collecting on my shoulder. I feel a shallow, shuddering breath come out of him, and pull him in tightly.

“’Where have you been?” he asks as he pulls away to look at me. He looks terrible. His beautiful blue eyes are red and swollen from crying, but they also have deep, dark circles underneath them. His light brown hair is sticks out like crazy and I can tell his sleep has been fitful. For some reason, he looks skinnier too. But that can’t be, I just saw him today, there’s no way he could have lost that much weight yet, right?

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know. I woke up in a tunnel somewhere, but I have no idea what I was doing or where I have been today. All I remember is being at your place this morning before class.” His face changes into a look of bewilderment, and I start to panic. “I am telling the truth; I really don’t remember. You know I-“ he pulls me into a hug and shushes me. “I know babe, I believe you, I don’t doubt that.” He pauses, but I can feel his jaw moving, as if he’s hesitating to say something.

“Babe, the last time you were at my apartment was 17 days ago. You’ve been missing for over two weeks.”