Mother was up early, as usual, sitting in her favorite place, the kitchen. "Good morning, my Gyda," she said the moment I entered for breakfast.

"Morning..." I replied.

My Gyda. Mom only called me that when something was up.

Our small kitchen was always crowded with my nieces running all over the place, and spilled breakfast soiling the counter and floor. This was a day as usual, living with so many in one house.

"Sit down," my mother ordered, looking at me.

Her order came as no surprise. But it was a bit of a surprise that she and my sisters had let me sleep in late today and prepared all my favorite food for breakfast. The table was full of it.

I felt my heart speeding up, growing anxious, even more than I'd already been. It had all become so real now. I truly was going to take this journey today, wasn't I?

"And the rest of you leave us," my mother said to the others as she joined me at the table.

My two older sisters, Anandi and Emmy, took the little ones with them, while I, my mother, and my eldest sister stayed behind.

"We need to talk," Mom said. "But first, let's eat. Fiona and I waited for you, so we could eat together."

I nodded, watching how my mother placed all kinds of food on my plate. Boiled eggs, oatmeal pancakes, bread, fruit, dried meat, and a variety of nuts. Quite different from our usual breakfast, consisting of mostly old bread and maybe an egg or two if we were lucky. There was something major going on today. For sure, there was.

"Thank you," I replied, almost too nervous to eat. Why did it somehow feel like my last meal? "But...can we maybe talk during breakfast? I already know what will happen today, anyway, and I can't eat like this. I don't like the silence. And I'm nervous, Mom."

Mother pursed her lips.

Then I said, "Mom, you are making me nervous. And this...all this." I waved my hand over the table filled with all manner of goodies. "This, Mom," I repeated, as if it needed reinforcing. Of course, it didn't.

She looked down, playing with her fingers, then folding a napkin. But then she answered. "Very well. Of course, you already know what will happen today, so I don't really understand why you're making a big issue of it. You have been pestering me with questions about this day for years. Anyway, you eat, then I will talk."

She waited for me to stuff a big bite into my mouth and then set off talking anyway, no doubt realizing that this was the one time I couldn't speak a single word.

"Tonight, it is the twelfth full moon," she started. "And during this year's breeding moon, you shall cross the borders. Just as your sisters have done before you."

She was visibly uncomfortable talking about it. It made me wonder if my sisters had never asked anything about it. Was I really that strange for wanting to know the details?

"To finally mate with an orc?" I asked.

"Well...yes. Though we don't call it mating, you know that."

"I'm sorry. I meant breeding with an orc," I replied, even though I didn't know what the difference was.

What I did know was that breeding with an orc was a shameful and disgusting act. And I did not quite understand everyone's views of it.

Sure, it couldn't possibly be a pleasure to be intimate with such an ugly creature, but why was it something to feel ashamed of? That confused me so much. Most of our new lives started this way. My life, my sisters' and their daughters' lives had all begun like this, without exception.

So, why was it still considered so taboo?

And why weren't we virgin women properly informed and educated about it? I think it involved kissing the orc and being physically close to him, like cuddling, but that was all I knew.

I looked at Fiona. All this while, she had stayed quiet and eyed me silently, obvious worry and sympathy readable in her big green eyes. Did she pity me?

"Yes. You will breed with one of the orcs and hopefully, Luna will bless our family with a son this time. A human son that is. Not one of those...those abominable creatures."

She couldn't even say the name. I could see her body trembling as if angry about the baby who did not even exist yet. The baby who might never exist.

To begin with, Mother was disappointed every time a daughter had made her way into the world. But even worse was that time Fiona had given birth to an orc son.

It'd been Fiona's first time and, even though I was still a little girl myself, I could still remember how sad my eldest sister had been, and how uncomfortable.

"Mom—"

"I waited until you reached another stage in life," Mom interrupted. "Maybe that will make a difference. Your sisters were all so young when they first crossed the borders and you know the outcome of that, looking at your thirteen nieces.

So that was the reason she'd never allowed me to go to Asclan Peaks before! I had to be older and try to conceive her desired human grandson!

"But Madame Hiley's daughter was even older when she first crossed, because of her sick childhood, and they were blessed with a son on her very first try!"

"I will try to bless you with a grandson," I answered with as much grace as I could muster before shoving half an egg into my mouth before I said more than I wanted to.

Wow. The pressure. Unbelievable.

"Good, my Gyda. And you should eat a lot of eggs." Mother said, looking pleased. "Madame Hiley said that would help. Here, have another."

She shoved a boiled egg in its shell across the table toward me. It rolled and almost dropped off the edge.

"Mother—" I objected. Then I saw her foul look. "O-okay." I took another bite of egg but put the one in its shell into my pocket. I didn't plan on eating it; I would throw it outside later, when she was no longer watching my every move.

There were only so many boring eggs a girl could eat, and I'd had my fill. Besides, how could eating boiled eggs possibly help me... breed?

"Here. This is for you, sister," Fiona said, placing something on my plate. I just hoped it wouldn't be another egg. It wasn't, thankfully.

It was a little bundle of herbs tied together with a tiny blue ribbon.

"Take them with two glasses of water. Madame Hiley may well believe in eggs, but my friend told me this may help to conceive a boy too."

Now, I was confused. Eggs or herbs?

It was funny how everyone had their own weird ideas about how I was going to set about creating that special little human they wanted. As far as I knew, there was only one way, and that was to keep praying and hope to strike it lucky on the first try, just as Mom had mentioned earlier. To try and deliver the prize.

Fiona moved forward, touching my arm. She leaned in a little and whispered, "You'll like the herbs. Jules said that for a boy, you have to—"

Despite her soft speech, Mom must have heard every word.

"Jules said so, hmm?" Mom asked, cutting her off. "Well, it didn't help you, did it? Or her. How many girls does she have, again?"

"Oh, Mom. You know Jules conceived a son herself eventually. Surely, you of all people agree, Mom. If there's even the slightest chance, we've got to try it."

The way she said 'we'. As far as I knew, I was the one who had to do this!

"I think you're forgetting, Jules's one boy died before he was born," Mom went on. "He was weak, a skinny thing! Her mother showed me the little one when he was out. Looked like a deformed baby bird. Made me wonder if it was human in the first place."

I quickly stuffed the clump of dried herbs in my mouth and drank down two glasses of water, hoping Mom and Fiona wouldn't argue again, especially not about me.

They often argued and Mom could be so mean.

The herbs were scratchy, almost choking me as they went down, but after yet more water—warm this time—and a lot of impolite coughing, they were gone at last. I was just left with the faintest taste of rosemary and fennel, and a few other things.

"Good girl," Fiona said when I'd finally managed to get rid of the whole herb thing.

"That was disgusting," I replied, gagging once. "Gosh. How revolting."

"It doesn't have to taste good. It just has to help."

"So..." I began. I wanted to know this now for once and for all. "What exactly will happen tonight? What happens when breeding with an orc?"

Mother took a deep breath through her nose.

"Well, you... You... You just let the orc take the lead and do not fight him. If you oblige, it will be soon over, and you can return home again," my mother answered, absolutely ignoring my question. That didn't tell me a whole lot. Why did I even think I would get a better answer? I should have known she would say something like this. She always had.

Fiona, however, seemed to understand my fears. "The place from which we bleed—"

"Hush, Fiona!" Mom shrieked, flapping her arms about as if it served a purpose. "She'll find out for herself. We do not talk about these kinds of vulgar things, you know that! She will find out the same way we all do!"

"But Mother, she—"

"No." Mother shook her head and then looked at me. "Gyda, you will walk the Trimar pass tonight, so put on several layers and pack warm clothes as it gets cold after sunset. Also, make sure you pack snacks and a flask of water, plus some clean clothes for the day after. It is a few hours' walk. Oh, and let your hair down."

"Yes, Mother," I answered, wondering why my hair was so important.

"You will walk with Isolde's daughter, Olivia. It's her first time as well. That's all you need to know. Now, let's eat before it reaches lunchtime with breakfast still on the table."

Mother's words were the last ones spoken during breakfast.