I love performing, but it scares me senseless some days.

I don’t understand how some people do it. Bravery isn’t something that comes to me naturally. Out there on the stage, every judgemental eye sees you, every critical mind inspects you. It’s been said that ‘you are your own worst critic’, but I fear the scathing thoughts of others more than my own.

It’s unlike me to consider something so trivial, but every time I have to set foot on a stage, my stomach twists up. The bright lights make my head pound, and the music sends me into a daze. The stress of perfectionism soils the experience of something I enjoy and, undoubtedly, am talented at.

Yet, every time I end up pushing through and hiding my fear, knowing it’s the only thing I can do.

I mean, I’ve come quite far with my studies and portfolio. Giving up now would mean letting a lot of people down. People with high expectations of me. People who have funded my success.

…

…That’s what being successful feels like.

Or maybe I’m just stressed…

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