(Jazmine)(23)

I feel broken. I feel manipulated and so stupid for few years now. I don't know what to do with myself. What was I thinking? Why did I agree on moving to this side of Louisiana? I guess I fell into "his" false reality and went with "him" blindly because it would be a great start for "us". Bullshit... He planned to isolate me by having me move away from my friends and family after college so I could be dependent on him. He wanted me to bow down to him and be under his control. Hell, I couldn't go outside to get groceries without him.

He was a control freak, impatient, selfish, closed-minded, manipulative, hostile, and toxic man. Being with him was a living nightmare. 

I know what yall are thinking 'Gurl if he is that bad, why not leave him?'

Yall didn't think I tried that? Well, I did in the past. But he would always end up finding me. I didn't know how at first. It wasn't until a few days ago, while he was in the shower I went through his phone, and find out that he was tracking me. he was using an app called Life360 to track my phone. That sneaking bastard. 

I couldn't take it anymore. If I have to stay another day with him, I would lose it. Today was the day. I waited for a couple of hours after he left for work. That is when I get dressed, grab my shoes and purse, and leave the apartment with no intention of coming back. I only have the clothes on my back and my bag. 

I didn't grab my phone so he doesn't have a chance of tracking me. Before I left, I took my secret stash of cash that I hid from inside the mattress and took the first train away from that area. Away from him and to a campus city called the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Lafayette is a big city like New Orleans and far away from my asshole ex. What I didn't expect was that traveling here took a lot of my money. I don't even have enough money to get a room in a hotel. Then to make my situation from bad to worse it started to rain on me. I hurry to find the nearest place that was open this late at night.

I was able to take shelter at a bar. It was a dimly lit, small, casual-looking bar. Jazz music played quietly in the background. I would prefer a real jazz band than to hear it from the speakers but it'll have to do. I took a seat on the bar counter and ask the bartender for a shot of whiskey. Right now I want to forget. To forget about feeling pathetic, forget how am I gonna sleep tonight, and to forget about "him". 

The bartender brought me my shot of whiskey and I lift my shot to make a toast to myself. Cheer to freedom and new beginnings. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this shitty situation but who knows. Maybe a handsome gentleman will rescue me when I least expect it.