A green tree frog sat in the corner of the cubby eyeing me off. But I was not giving up my hidey-hole, even if the frog had found this place first. Lit up by only my phone screen, I scrolled through my instagram, perusing the lives of the celebrities I admired (because, let's be real, I didn't have many of my friends on it), having avoided the party for a solid half hour now.
Was I wasting 'precious kissing time'? Yes.
But a part of me was determined to try out my new plan I had concocted while stewing in my anger after leaving Lexi inside. If Fraser just came out on his own, I could lie to Lexi later and say he rejected me when she wasn't looking. And then the whole thing would be over with and she'd leave me alone. I just had to wait him out...
Yet as I continued to waste time, lost in the cyberspace of my phone, a voice coming from behind me had me jumping.
"Boo!" he said.
A yelp escaped my mouth and I reached for my leg I had removed, ready to whack the intruder with it. But, after turning around to the little window behind me, I noticed Flynn's face in the small frame.
"You scared the daylight out of me," I hissed, feeling my heartrate begin to slow at my recognition of him.
"But it's night time..." his eyes narrowed. Then his face disappeared from the hole. Some swishing of the grass later, he appeared again, this time kneeling down by the entryway to the cubby.
I quickly reached for my leg again, ready to put it back on, though Flynn's hand shot out.
"You can leave it off, Callie," he said. "It's just me." Then he got on all fours as he started to climb in.
I felt a little strange at the idea of him seeing me without it considering I was so used to people looking at me like I was almost 'normal' these days with my prosthetic to cover the stump, but at the same time, he was right. He was only Flynn. But before I could question him for his sudden appearance here, I had more important matters to attend to.
"Careful!" I exclaimed as he started to crawl in.
Flynn threw me a raised eyebrow.
"You'll hurt Herbert," I said, pointing to my frog friend still squatting in the other corner of the cubby.
Flynn paused, glancing in the direction of Herbert before meeting my gaze with an amused smirk. "You named it?"
Shrugging, I replied, "We've been hanging out for a while now. Seems fitting to at least give him a name."
"Do you know if it's a him?"
Face falling, I turned to the little frog and said, "I apologise if I misgendered you, Herbie."
Flynn let out a chuckle and moved back out of the cubby, getting to his feet. I watched him through the window walk back towards the house, stopping by the tap to turn it on.
Unsure what I had done to scare him away, I turned to the frog, whispering, "Was it me or you he didn't like?"
But I didn't have to wait too long for Herbie's reply. Flynn's footsteps sounded on the grass once more, his face ducking down in the doorway as his dripping hands extended towards the frog.
"Come on, Herbert," he said. "Let's find you a nice tree to hang out in so I can take your spot in here." Then he scooped up the frog in his wet hands and disappeared from my sight once more.
When Flynn returned not much later, he climbed through the doorway and sat down, glancing around at the structure. "This looks bigger from the outside," he mused.
I shrugged in response, not sure what to say to that, and then turned back to my phone.
But Flynn kept glancing around, staring at the walls and the graffiti etched into the wood. "'The Month Sisters' Manor of Mayhem'," he read out. "Huh... What does that mean?" Shaking his curiousity from his head, he then turned to me, grin reforming on his face. "I must say, Callie... I'm surprised to see you at a party. Even if you are hiding out here."
Flicking my screen off, I then turned my head, narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't most people come to parties and hide in breaking down cubby houses?"
Flynn tried and failed to stifle his grin, which smeared across his face as per usual, pulling all the way to his eyes as they glistened in the night. "No. I think that's just a you thing."
Crossing my arms over my chest, trying to keep the corners of my mouth from turning up that would give away my challenging glare, I said, "Well you're at a party and are hiding in a cubby."
But he just shrugged at me. "I saw you out here."
My eyes narrowed.
"I decided to pop outside for some air and was looking around at the yard and thought I saw someone in the cubby. Once I came closer, I saw it was you. You didn't even notice me so I snuck up to scare you." He shrugged as though it were normal.
While I understood his reasons for approaching me at school, I was honestly a little surprised that he'd want to talk to me out of it. Not quite ready to approach that topic, I said, "But you're still out here instead of in there."
"Figured maybe there's a reason you're alone. And perhaps you could use a friend?" The usually cocky grin dropped from his face as his brows softened and his gaze became earnest.
My heart stammered slightly, but somehow I managed to maintain my composure.
Gosh, Callie... Sara says things like this to you all the time. Are you just reacting like this because someone from the opposite sex has noticed you?
"I'm fine," I mumbled, pulling my legs to my chest and staring out the window.
"Yes, your posture totally suggests that." Flynn crossed his own legs, resting an elbow on his knee and craning his head to look at me. "I can't believe I'm actually seeing you outside of school, to be honest."
I shot him a glance before turning to look back at the house. "I came with my sister."
"The famous Callie and Lexi twins," he laughed, finally turning his eyes from me and resting against the cubby wall. "Why'd she come back, by the way?"
"My dad's partner died so they've both moved back. But Lexi is living with me and mum now." I'd be lying if that last part didn't come out as a bit of a grumble—and Flynn seemed to notice this.
"You don't like having her back?"
I pressed my lips together.
"I won't tell her, if that's what you're worried about."
I heaved a sigh. "Sometimes it's nice. But... I don't know. I just don't know her anymore."
"Did you not stay in touch when she moved?"
I shook my head.
"Why not? You guys were inseparable in primary school."
A part of me was surprised that Flynn even noticed me then, because I had barely paid him any attention. "Lexi was... She was with me when I was hit by the train."
Everyone knew how I lost my leg—it was in countless newspapers, all anyone could gossip about at school, and the teachers also gave my classmates a special talk before I had returned to school. So I knew I didn't have to give him more context.
"She said she still remembers it," I then added.
"You don't?"
"No. I apparently passed out not long after. But even the events before I can't remember. The doctors say the mind sometimes forgets traumatic experiences to protect ourselves from reliving it. Also, everything I went through after was intense enough... But Lexi can recall all of it. She apparently couldn't look at me after without remembering it so when mum and dad split up, she quickly jumped at the offer to move with dad to Melbourne. And then we just... stopped talking."
"You didn't see each other again?"
"She visited once a year. But we more often avoided each other. At first it was because she couldn't look at me. And then I just became bitter towards her after endless silences on her side. The other times my mum went to visit her and I stayed here with my aunt."
Flynn nodded slowly. "But you came to a party with her?"
"Not to bond," I grimaced.
But his eyes narrowed.
Shaking my head, I felt my face start to flush. "Lex and I... we... have a bet of sorts. If I... win... she will leave me alone. But if she does, then I have to do something I will really hate."
"What's the bet?"
"Nope."
"Nope?"
"You will not get me to tell you that."
The corners of his lips turned up as he cocked his head to the side. But before he could pry it out of me—which I knew he could considering he had gotten me to confess this much—I decided to change the topic.
"What are you doing at a party?" I asked. "I thought you don't hang out with anyone outside of class."
Flynn breathed a humourless laugh and turned his attention away from me again and back towards the house. "Yeah, I don't have any close friends in our year level. But they always invite me. And I normally go—which you would know if you ever came to them."
"I'm never invited."
"They're open invitations."
"I didn't know they existed."
"I'll tell you about them in future."
I pressed my lips together. "I think I'll be fine..."
Flynn chuckled and shook his hair out of his eyes.
"So... why parties but not hanging out with them at school?"
"I hang out with my cousins at school. And by cousins I mean some are actual cousins and some are just kids of others in my community. But we're all one big family in the end."
A part of me hated that he felt the need to explain what he meant by cousins—as though I would be that ignorant to know they weren't all related. But I didn't hate him for it, merely the people who evidently had no appreciation for his culture that he felt the need to go on such a spiel. "Why do you hang out with them instead of making friends?"
"To make sure they don't wag."
I narrowed my eyes and turned to look at him, though Flynn just grinned at me. "Hypocritical of you."
"Hey, I haven't skipped school since Grade Ten."
"But you have skipped classes."
"Not this year."
"We're only two weeks in..."
"That's some faith you have in me, Callie."
I shrugged in response and looked away once more. It was strange talking to Flynn. In some ways, it was so easy to be myself, like talking to Sara. I felt comfortable sharing my true thoughts about my sister and myself. I felt safe joking with him and making casual chit chat. And it was nice not feeling like he was staring at my stump the whole time.
But I also couldn't deal with the pressure of his obsidian gaze—regardless of how friendly it was—staring into my soul when he looked at me. Making eye contact was apparently something my heart couldn't handle, but I assumed it was just because I wasn't used to talking to boys—even though Flynn was proving that was barely different from talking to Sara.
As the silence went on and I began to feel a little awkward with him just sitting with me, alone in this cubby, I tried to fill the air with useless banter. "Are you drinking tonight?" I asked. That's a question people ask at things like this, right?
But then he said, "I don't drink."
That threw me off guard. Turning my attention fully towards him, I said, "What?"
"I don't drink," he repeated, but his eyes grew sad like he was upset by my reaction or something. Then he flicked his hair out of his eyes once more and looked back towards the house.
"I thought all teens drink," I then mumbled, hoping he wasn't assuming I reacted this way as a result of racist stereotyping. Though I secretly hoped that wasn't also part of why I did react that way. Because who knows if I held some unconscious bias.
"Well are you drinking?" he countered, an eyebrow cocked, the humour still gone from his face.
I shook my head. "I've never..." But I stopped myself before the words left my mouth, facing forward again as I felt my face flush.
"You've never had a drink?" he finished for me, the light was back in his tone.
There's so many things I've never done, I thought in response.
"Oh Callie... Your sister is really bringing you out of your comfort zone since she has been back," he chuckled.
"No she hasn't!" I didn't want her getting any credit for this.
"Well you're at a party? And you are finally having a conversation with someone who isn't Sara or a teacher. And you even spoke in class about your..." He trailed off like most people do when they are unsure how to refer to what remains. But then he firmly said, "Leg."
Did people notice I avoided talking about it? Or was that just Flynn? And if it was just him... why?
"The party is definitely Lexi's fault," I muttered. "The others are because I got my prosthetic though. I feel a little more confident."
His eyes narrowed once more as he glanced around the cubby.
"Confident enough to speak to people but still terrified of the party," I added, knowing he was judging me for hiding in here.
"I see, I see..." he said.
But then that familiar silence fell around us again, making the residual thump from the music inside more noticeable; emphasising the rustling of the wind in the tree overhead; and mading me more aware of how loud the process of swallowing seems to be as I felt my mouth go dry.
I wanted to strike up conversation, not comfortable with the silence between us. Because silence meant vulnerability. Silence gave time to glance around at the surroundings, potentially meaning he might notice my stump more or whether my makeup had smeared. Silence, while noiseless, was ridiculously loud when confined in a small space with someone you don't want to hate you. While I didn't know Flynn, his few gestures of kindness tied with Lexi's stupid idea of getting me out of my comfort zone made me begin to hope of a future where there was just more than Sara in my life. But caring about impressing people so that they stick around meant really reflecting on the parts of myself that might turn someone away—and the silence gave me permission to think about the many things I had that could.
And as much as I wanted to talk to him to distract him from potentially studying me or finding things to dislike, the last topic I had brought up saw the smile slipping on his face as I said something evidently insensitive.
Which only added to my list of trying to make sure he didn't hate me.
But before I could continue to fall down these spiralling thought patterns consumed with self-doubt, Flynn suddenly said, "I want to be different."
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