Leon smiled, which momentarily eased my crap-bag of hormones. I still waited for a phone call or knock at my door, but the longer I looked at Leon, I felt foolish for something so seemingly impossible.

“Didn’t think I’d end my night with a staring contest,” Leon said.

“What—oh, sorry.”

“I’ll ask this hard-hitting question first. What made you come to the bar tonight?”

I picked at a strand on my comforter. Did I want to tell a stranger about my pathetic week? Again, that ship sailed when I invited him back to my place. I relaxed more into the pillows and began my discomfiting tale of heartache. “My friend suggested I ‘live a little,’ because I’m chasing some guy who doesn’t want me.” It sounded rotten when I pared it down to one sentence.

“So you listened to them?”

“I wasn’t going to, but I…had a bad night and just—” Talking to someone who wasn’t Lou was refreshing. Leon didn’t know the specifics and had less to judge. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

Leon tugged at his bottom lip and frowned. “You’re using me for my body, then.” He laughed at my less than amused expression. “I’m joking. But I think your friend is right. You can have some fun, and there’s no shame in doing something for yourself. Seems like you did when you chose to sit down for a drink—it’s why I bought you one. ”

That got the first smile out of me in a while, and us closer to each other. “And I thought you were just being friendly.” 

“Hey, I’m always a gentleman. But if I struck out, at least our nights wouldn’t have been a total waste. I got a kick out of this neat ensemble”—he gestured at his shirt and jeans—“which is apparently ideal for impressing cuties in bars.”

Our extended conversation was carefree. No conditions or expectations. He was right again, and admittedly, so was Lou. I had no restraints other than the ones I created; nothing bound me to anything beyond the two of us in this room. So tonight, I’d spend it with someone who chose me.

I closed the gap that was as thin as my patience, the warmth from his soft lips a foreign delight to me. Leon let me set the pace as I deepened our kiss, and his hand explored under my shirt. They were how I envisioned, firm and conforming to the shape of my body, heat blistering wherever he touched. 

I had no guilt when I removed my polo, and Leon also exposed his chest. The tinge of alcohol on his breath and his weight pressed against me was nothing like Mathieu. It was different—new and inviting. My mind was only on him when he kissed my neck as I roamed his muscles.

Leon took to my intentions of guiding his hand over my waistband, expanding his palm over my crotch. He rubbed my increasing hardness through my pants, skimming the elastic of my underwear and pulling them past my hips as he released my erection. I panted into Leon’s mouth when he deliberately partook in scoring tantalizing marks on my thighs and groin. My legs nearly crammed his hand from the teasing, but Leon began with light strokes that dizzied me into reverie. 

He gripped firmer and pumped faster as I buried my face into his shoulder. I couldn’t tell what my body or mouth said, yet Leon listened. I shivered under the rising heat from his body when I finished with his coated hand still wrapped around me. My lungs regained a steady rhythm, full of his scent.

I watched Leon’s chest rise and fall, trying to level my breathing, but I was too far gone to calm down and wait. I kicked off my partially soiled clothes and pulled down his zipper, but he stopped me when I made too much haste.

“I should clean my hand first,” he said.

“Oh, yea”—my thoughts were too narrow to focus—“it’s the…on the…”

Leon crawled off the bed. “The only other door in the hall?” 

Too many delayed thoughts bombarded my head by hearing the water run, like where my bathroom was and why was I acting like I’d never been past second base. But he wasn’t sneaking out the door, so I guess it worked for me. I rummaged through my drawer for lube and fumbled with the lamp, wasting no time handing it over when he returned. Embarrassing myself fell under living a little, probably. 

“Saves you the trouble of asking,” I said. 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t start without me.”

He dropped the rest of his clothes onto the floor, and I met him at the edge of the bed. I peeked at his bare body before we locked lips and let my hands fill in the blanks. Everything about him was solid, from his chest and arms to his thighs and in between.

Leon slid his hand over my ass, and I spread for him. One finger barely inside had my legs shaking. He pushed deeper, stretching and slicking inside me. I assisted by bending over and fluttering kisses down his torso, giving more tongue to his sack and shaft. Leon squeezed more lube on my hole and inserted two fingers. He dove to his knuckles and retracted, sending my hips into a frenzy.

We hadn’t even started, and Leon already had me begging for more. I forfeited his now-hard dick, unable to think straight anymore. Leon slathered a considerate amount of lube on himself, lifted my chin, and gave me a lasting kiss before saying, “After you.”

I paused, registering what he meant—for obvious reasons and the novelty of choice. I turned around, curving my back until I was facedown. He lined himself up with my entrance, and every inch of my body ignited with hardly a push inside.

Leon started slowly, rocking back and forth until he was fully inside. I buried my face into the sheets, quieting the jumble of expletives as he gained speed. My muscles constricted around him as he caressed my back while tugging me to meet his thrusts. Flushing waves prickled my skin with goosebumps and sent escalating chills up my spine. 

I stretched across the bed to relieve my quivering legs. That prompted Leon to hover over me and pound me into the mattress. He rolled his hips at angles I didn’t know could undo me this way. I was outspoken about how he felt inside me, gripping his hands covering mine. Delicate kisses on my neck and shoulders heightened my praises to speechlessness. 

Somehow, I found his lips through the myriad of writhing underneath him. He maintained the same tempo, driving into me when he lay on his side, tilting my lower body with him, and preserving our kiss. I couldn’t get enough of his lips or hands all over me. Leon adjusted my leg, opening me up more, and my toes curled from how he was grinding into me.

“Keep doing that,” I moaned. “Deeper.”

Leon obliged, following how I pushed back on him. “Like this?”

My body quaked so that I wasn’t sure if I nodded; nothing coherent left my mouth. I was sure he got the message from my reactions, but he disengaged instead. We kissed before I found the strength to disapprove, and he shifted onto his back. When I remembered how to move my limbs, I straddled him.

“Go as deep as you like,” he said.

I applied more lube and lowered myself, gripping his arms as he stretched me out again. Curses or acclamations escaped my lips when I began to move. Riding him raised my voice to octaves I didn’t know were possible, and his reciprocity had to wake up my neighbors. 

Leon picked up where he brought the most out of me, and he was bound to do so. He took advantage of his free hands, steadying me and admiring my form above him. Something that might have been his name was indecipherable because my senses were all wired to his increasingly erratic thrusts. I changed our momentum and slumped forward, wading in the pleasure purling from my heavy breaths and Leon’s electrifying touch.

I leaned down and gave him a little nudge to keep going, to finish strong. He nibbled on my neck, sucking on my sensitive chest. Shortly after, he let out a long groan, and he remained motionless, except for pulsing to completion. 

We lay there in the bliss of what I was finding harder to be forgettable. When our eyes locked, I expected another line for laughs, but he stroked my cheek and kissed me. Not like before, but passionate, sincere—grateful. It lasted through his arms cradling my back and enveloping us. Neither of us stopped when the stickiness from his stomach smeared mine, and I bit his lip. 

Whether I woke up alone in the morning, being with him now would never leave me. Leon was the furthest thing from forgettable, and for a few glorious hours, I was alive.