I nodded, surprised, not fully guessing where his proposal came from. My heart was beating a little harder, and I didn't want to think about anything I shouldn't, considering he was my brother. Fortunately, Victor shifted everyone's attention to the cake and started lighting the candles one by one. But I asked Alex and Hyacinth to give up singing. I also had to make a wish, although I knew that the ones I would like to say quietly were impossible to fulfill. I looked at the faces of the people around me and the way they smiled at me, I knew that they cared about me, that they loved me. That is why I dared to ask for my other half, not even having the slightest doubt that this wish would come true one day. I blew out the candles and started laughing honestly at the exaggerated cheers.

We ate a cake, drank coffee in a nice atmosphere. Victor then pushed for opening gifts. He claimed the right to be his first. He gave me a new set of cookie figures, he knew I had been complaining recently that I didn't have any with Christmas themes. Alex, though he didn't have to buy me a cute binder to stick recipes in. My parents gave me a voucher for the store so that I could buy myself some new baking or cooking equipment. If it wasn't for Alex's presence, Victor was probably also interested in what Hyacinth had for me, but he was so focused on going out with him. The lovers sat for a while longer and then went on the long-awaited date.

"Pretty nice boy," Hyacinth muttered, settling back down on the couch.

"Alex? Yes, he's cute," I agreed. "How's Ginny?" I asked, actually I did not know what for.

"She's out for the show, she's one of the lead designers," he replied as if it didn't matter. "Why do you ask?"

"Just like that. "I shrugged. "Everything okay between you?"

"I think so." He looked at me piercingly. "What about your love life, maybe now? Someone has caught your eye recently?"

"Come on. I only focus on my work," I replied blushing.

"Victor said you sometimes go to clubs and that's where you met Alex. Surely no one has noticed your attention there or anywhere? Maybe some work colleague?" he asked. I denied it once again, and a victorious smile appeared on his face. "Stand in front of the mirror and close your eyes, time for your gift."

On the one hand, everything that happened was fascinating, and on the other hand, it was just strange and surprising. But I obeyed my older brother and stood in front of the hanging mirror in the hall. I didn't necessarily want to close my eyes, because then my power was useless, but with Hyacinth, I could feel safe, right? After a moment, I felt a cold metal touch on my neck and his hands, which first flipped my hair over one shoulder, and then fastened the necklace.

"Don't open your eyes yet," he said. "I designed it myself," he whispered in my ear. "I hope you like it and therefore I ask you to always think of me when you look at it." Suddenly I felt his hands on my hips and he pulled me against him. I got scared at first, then froze as his lips began to kiss my neck. Delicate at first, then more greedy, as if he was telling me to my face if that's what I wanted. He waited for my reply, reaction, but I fell completely into his hands and began to tremble. So many times I saw in his thoughts, in his memories, or in the imagination of the girls who were infatuated with him, that a situation like that should end.

"Lulu, I know the way you look at me for a long time, and only recently realized that I don't want you to look at anyone else that way. Before that, however, I didn't like having another boy with you either." His right hand began to move towards my thigh, while the left hand began to move towards my breasts. As if he couldn't make up his own mind. "I have to apologize to you for being too stupid to notice this that late. You see, it's paradoxically Ginny noticed that I was still looking at you with a twinkle in my eye after all and she made me make sure it was just love for my sister," he began to confess and laughed a little.

"I began to analyze everything, and then, had it not been for Victor, I certainly would not have resisted the urge to kiss you." I don't think he could say it to my face, and it was hard for me to find myself without being able to read my mind and make sure what was true and what was not. "Open your eyes, Lulu".

Then I saw a drop-shaped pendant with an emerald shade of stone, and the chain itself was in the form of connected waves. And I was able to see our reflection. In Hyacinth's blue eyes I saw something that hadn't been there before or was already lurking dormant and somewhat obscured by other emotions - desire. He stared at me and watched how fascinated I was about what was happening between us and how my own body reacts to it. How surprised I look at myself, a young girl with a few extra kilos, an average figure, and chestnut hair.

"I'm glad the necklace highlights your beautiful eyes," he said and turned me to him.

The words had a sobering effect on me. And I felt tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. After all, he will never see their true color. How can you be with someone who has already lied to you to all you know and from whom you cannot even hide a single thought? How can you be with someone and have to watch yourself all the time, or not be able to be yourself after all? What is the point of such a relationship? Who would want to be with someone like me? What would Martha and David think? It surely will destroy the relationships in this family? If only for their sake, I shouldn't even try.

"Please stop." I put my hand on his chest and pushed him slightly, despite everything subconsciously I didn't want him to go away, I started to tremble and cry "Stop and go away."

"Lulu, what happened? he asked, really scared he'd gone too far.

"Just go away," I said, stepping back. "Disappear," I asked in a whisper and closed my eyes, I didn't want to see what he was thinking, it would be too painful. "Go away! Go!"

I opened my eyes for a moment when I heard him gathering himself in a hurry to leave. He felt rejected and hurt, all my fault. I wrote to Victor asking him to come home as soon as possible and I threw myself crying on the couch, losing myself in the sadness, pain, and feeling that I was the worst monster.