Huge, roaring, wind-blasting sneezes. The cavern shook, rocks fell, dust blew everywhere. The witches shrieked for it to stop, but the dragon couldn't. It shook itself, clawed at its face, smashing blindly into cavern walls in its fit, and still the sneezes came.

Grinless having scooped up his things ran for a tunnel. Goobdwib and Fernfrick managed to grab Krigga and follow.

The tunnels shuddered with each dragon sneeze, debris fell and dust choked the air. But Krigga took the lead, claiming over the cacophony, "Me ears and nose know way out. Follow!"

Sure enough, before the whole cave tunnel system collapsed over the failed coup of Fedra, Egra, Tegra, and Bonemaw, Grinless and company, led by Krigga, emerged into daylight unscathed and accidentally saving the day again.

Coughing out the last of the dust, Grinless turned steely eyes to the dwarf and elf. "Me no suppose you two just shut up for once about this?"

Goobdwib grinned brilliantly, "Sorry master. The world must know of your good deeds."

Fernfrick smiled more benignly but nodded along.

Krigga just searched under rocks for blood-filled lizards.

Grinless growled, exasperated, and took off ahead of the others.

Grinless' journey continued over years, many more mishap-adventures added to the legend of Grinless, despite his best efforts. He did become better at sneaking away from his tag-a-longs (usually). He would vary his habits, rise at different times, have a decoy pack in the open with his real pack in the bushes, and so when he "relieved" himself in the bushes, he'd really just leave.

On one such occasion Grinless took such a circuitous route in losing the others he became thoroughly lost and wound up in prime human territory. In particular, the city of Lewnord, capital of the human lands and the Kingdom of Fitz, so the sign declared.

Not that Grinless cared about that. Also, he wasn't too literate with human words. All he'd gotten out of the sign was "Population: 1,053" which he mistook for "Poop collection," and this being what a good mold and slime colony needed he decided to check it out. So, he was rather confused to see more and more humans and their dwellings, then a city springing up around him, while still no scat supply. There sure were lots of diff kinds of human stinks though.

As he neared a trading bazaar on the merchants' road, the crowds thickened. Grinless couldn't help asking, "You all like poops this much?"

Their reaction was, understandably, to be taken aback and turn away in disgust. When word got out of a goblin presence, people wondered if this could be the legendary Grinless the Goblin. Really, he was the only well-known goblin for hundreds of years (and the only one with a positive reputation). Finally, people got the nerve to ask, "Are you Grinless? THE Grinless, the hero?"

Last thing he wanted was welcome or more followers. Gnashing his teeth and shifting narrowed eyes, he thought quickly. "Uh, no... me Chinless, the goblin. Yesh." A few went away disappointed, but a few persisted, either suspicious or just wanting him to be the rising legend.

"Are you sure you're not Grinless? You look pretty glum, and you are a goblin," One head-scratcher said. People nodded along, it made sense.

So Grinless shot back, "What, me gots ta be that one guy jut 'cuz me goblin? That racist!"

Suddenly the crowd turned on the man with disapproving looks and mutterings. "Wait, no! I didn't mean it like that. I just-" he backed away, vanishing into the crowd.

Someone else said, "Hey, if you're not a hero, what you doing with that sword and shield?"

Grinless confidently took out the dirty shield and greasy sword, "What, these old things? Look like hero stuff? Me look like hero?"

People agreed a hero wouldn't have such filthy gear or smell so bad. They still stood round rattling their heads, aiming for a conclusion of some kind.

Then over the crowd's hubbub Grinless heard an all too familiar elf and dwarf bickering. Sure enough, his dreaded followers were there in the crowd consulting a map, Goobdwib arguing for his banner over Fernfrick's, Krigga sniffing about for blood-snacks.

They were almost upon him! But instead of running, Grinless decided to turn the tide using the dumb humans. He got their attention and pointed at the group, "Another goblin!" While the people looked, he scampered behind them and mimicked a human voice, "My gots, eh be hem! Datz der Grinless hero guy!" They reacted accordingly, shouting and rushing in with praise and inane queries while the real Grinless snuck off, frown-snickering.

Searching thru the poorer sections of the city for the elusive fecal funds, Grinless heard how his faux-self had been mobbed at the marketplace and taken to King whatshisname's castle. Grinless scowl-chuckled and continued his hunt. The smell was right, and ripe, but no one collection of poo. Though the people here did just dump their rubbish into the streets, sometimes even aiming for the gutters. Shrugging, he sat on the curb and began going thru the refuse.

He'd just found some choice rotting food stuffs when armed soldiers spotted him and came over.

"Hoy there, goblin!"

Grinless, defensive, breathlessly said, "Me no Grinless, lemme alone!"

This, and his arms up to elbows in street gunk, surprised even the steely-demeanored(?) soldiers. The leader got his bearing and said, "We know, we already escorted him safely to the Castle; the King received him. However, other goblins being generally bad sorts, we can't just have you wandering around… um, doing whatever you're doing-"

"Muck collecting!"

"Whatever. We can’t have you just-"

"But, that racist!" spat Grinless triumphantly.

The guards looked at each other, shrugging. "Maybe. But those are the rules. Only Grinless is different because he's a hero."

Caught in a logic trap, Grinless still refused to play the hero. He took another route instead, "Um...me no goblin! Me, uh...this skin condition. Yeah! Very bad, me hurty alla time. Contagious!"

The soldiers regarded his green skin. Then his sharp teeth, long pointy nose, bat ears, and noticeably four-fingered hands. "Nice try. Come along goblin."

"Drat!" Grinless cursed, grabbing his pack as they escorted him at a distance—because of the smell.