Incidentally, they also took him to the castle. There, they dunked him in a water barrel, unable to stand his stench. Then they brought the sputtering, soaking, complaining goblin right before the king.

His group welcomed him with open arms—much to his revulsion.

"Master Grin! There ye are. Had me worried sick, ye did!" said Goobdwib.

Ferfrick smiled and said, "Master Grinny, so good to see thou safe. And oh, bathed for the king, how thoughtful. It just needs something..." while patting him dry with a blanket he also strung up flower garlands.

Noticing, Grinless tore them up and stomped on them.

He also noticed a white-bearded guy in robes and fancy metal crown—the king, whatshisface—who was speaking, "...the real Grinless? The goblin hero? You're sure this time?"

"Oh yes," said Goobdwib proudly, "We be knowing him best, after all."

Fernfrick added happily, "Yea, this our great leader, hero and savior of many catastrophes and secret takeovers. The one and only, Grinless the goblin!"

Grinless gnashed his teeth and snarled at the group, the king, the royal retinue, and all the guards. He did not want to be here.

The king looked unconvinced. "But he's so… surly. Doesn't look like much of a hero."

Fernfrick added flatly, "Well, his name is Grinless…"

Goobdwib added, "What, ye thought our other goblin friend was more heroic? No offense, Krigga."

All eyes went to Krigga; pale, sickly-looking, flies buzzing around his nigh-sightless eyes. Even more unappealing, when it was thought he was the hero, servants had doted upon him even with his strange request for endless goblets of blood. The kitchen did so with the most available—chicken's blood—which Krigga was downing greedily. He hiccupped, grinning, and waved at where he assumed Grinless was, instead making an elderly courtier uncomfortable.

The king blinked, "I see. Not much of a choice. I guess this one looks more… competent. Sure, we'll say he's Grinless the Hero. It works for our purposes…"

Grinless, damp, not as dirty as he'd like, and surrounded by strange humans and his hated comrades, was in a foul mood. And not even the ones he usually enjoys. He was furious and tired of being treated like a hero. He finally snapped and drew his meat-roaster to use it for its original purpose—as a sword.

The magic Undefeatable Sword of Konam, long dormant from the torment of merely cooking dinner, came fully awake, glowing and singing vibrantly. All were shocked at the mopey goblin's transformation to raging goblin warrior.

Well, perhaps that's pushing it. Anyway, he looked quite intimidating. His comrades backed away trying to placate him.

Goobdwib laughing nervously, "Now now, Master Grin. Glad to see you ready to use the sword correctly for once, but no need, no villains about to fight!"

Fernfrick merely said, "Violence is rarely if ever the answer, Master Grinny..."

That did it. Grinless, eyes red pinpricks, roared, "Me hates them nicknames, and me hates alla you! YAAAH!"

And he charged.

Several things saved his group from mortal injury then. First, Grinless was ever more of a trickster and a layabout than a warrior, so he only flailed about gracelessly, nowhere near any of his targets.

Second, Krigga with his usually blind clumsiness, wanting to know what the commotion was, turned right into everyone else, spilling chicken blood on the floor. Grinless ran, slipped on blood, tumbled over the pile of other goblin, elf, and dwarf.

He was launched into the third thing, which was an assassin disguised as a guard moving in on the king. Grinless flipped thru the air, sword spinning out to cut the assassin's face and weapon-filled hands off, who then fell and impaled himself on the king's scepter.

Everyone froze for a moment—except the dying assassin, who twitched and bled all over the dais. Finally, the guards snapped to, sealing the room and hunting for other assassins, then hurling them and the dying one into the dungeon.

The king, visibly shaken but also impressed said, "Well. Now I see the stories are true. Grinless, your methods are rather… unorthodox, but effective. Not even I or my personal guard suspected this plot. Fortuitous though, this leads to the next ceremony planned, and your reward of course…"

Grinless cursed, "Dingbat!" putting away his ruined meat-roaster, now a cheerily glowing magic sword again. Grinless knew he'd hate whatever came next.

And he was very right.