Fernfrick said softly, "By the gods!"

Goobdwib's eyes bugged out, "What shall we do?"

Grinless shrugged, hiked up his pack, and walked away.

Everyone looked at him, shocked, somehow. "But master Grin. We must do something! We can't just leave that thing to cause mayhem," the dwarf called.

Grinless said back, "Me no do nothing. Not me problem."

Fernfrick looked panicked for once, "But what about all the people? That thing can destroy whole kingdoms. Thousands could die!"

Grinless, shrinking down the path, shouted, "OK, have fun! Me no care."

Krigga tried to look at them sympathetically, instead glancing at a tree stump, shrugged, and ran after Grinless. "Wait boss-buddy, me show you way!"

The dwarf and elf stared at the fleeing goblins in confoundment, somehow. They'd done so much propaganda of Grinless' heroics, they fully believed their own lie, that somewhere deep down inside the goblin lay a heart of heroic gold. This cold, hard lump of lead, undeniable at last, threw their whole way of thinking out of alignment. Finally, they looked at each other, found some encouragement in their mutual desire for good, and ran towards the rampaging Titanomog.

A few days later Grinless and Krigga stumbled into the new goblin village—because not only had the village moved away from the disaster grounds left by Grinless' youthful pranks, but also to avoid the very goblin who had somehow found his way there now completely by accident. But to Krigga it smelled close enough to the filthy and rotting smells of their original grey marshy and boggy lands; to Grinless it looked basically the same.

The goblin villagers were quite surprised to see the two, thinking (and hoping) they were gone for good. They certainly weren't expecting their return. A new clan mother was there to greet them with disgruntled glare, "Grinless, why back so soon? Or at all? Told you—er," an elder whispered in her ear, "AWARDED you early rite of passage journey, and to start a new village… far, far away. So why back again?"

Grinless, fingering in his overly waxy ears, heard only half and cared even less. "Eh, tired of rite passaging and travelling. Want boggy home, settle down, no more adventures. No worry, me stay away from village. Wants to be alone."

Some of the goblins waggled their ears, considering this, but another goblin pushed thru the crowd. Grinless recognized the pointy ears and petite frame of his sister, Glorunga. While not wanting or expecting an embrace, Grinless did sneer not unhappily and nod at his sibling, greeting her mopily. When she approached, however, it was to swat him with a hamster-poker stick.

"Yow! What and why for, Glorunga?" he said in between swats, "Me no happy to see you either, but why?"

After she paused, Glorunga said, "For all funny hero business. Good deeds and intentions. Pah!"

Grinless frowned deeply, "What? Me no hero! What you say?"

More villagers gathered, the elder folks looking at Grinless disapprovingly, nodding to Glorunga's words and muttering as she went on. "We hear your good deeds even here. Hero! Legend! Known across lands, even hated human lands. Bah! This not goblin way. Disgrace! Against tradition. Bad example!"

This was when Grinless noticed the little ones peeking out from behind elders and garbage piles. He first thought it curiosity, but soon saw their eyes gleaming with something else.

It was admiration.

He shivered.

Glorunga continued, "Your tales go all over and back, you so big hero, now they have banners, mini-tapestries, toy swords and shields, even collectible figures! All of Grinless, the Goblin HERO!" she spat out the last word venomously.

Grinless grimaced in disbelief, then horror as the goblin children stepped forward holding much of said merchandise, including (somehow) replicas of his magic sword and shield. His own magic sword hummed in joy and recognition; he shushed it.

Glorunga wielded her stick again, "No matter how many times we take 'em away, they find more. Hero-worship! Idolize! All! Because! You!" the last remarks punctuated with swats.

Grinless protested, "But – but – me no try be hero! All accident. Misunderstanding. Me hates good deeds, swears!"

The goblin kids had now formed a circle around him, shiny-eyed with admiration.

"And! And!" Glorunga swatted him some more, "This latest! Giant mountain monster, Titanomog. You round up army and defeat it, with help of dwarf? And elf?!" The elders made disgusted noises. "Save entire world! No goblin deeds. Now little 'uns think hero and good deeds… good! And want do! Ruined next generation. All! Because! You!" she swatted him viciously.

Finally, he'd had enough. Grinless screamed in terror and ran off into the marshy woods. The children cried in delight and chased after, chanting, "Grinless! Hero!"

Krigga reappeared after draining an entire cask of hamster blood, hiccupping, "What me miss? Grinless, boss-buddy? Wait up!" he took off for the new misty woods, to be lost a second time.

So Grinless found his own hut in a ravine a ways from the village. The children, having formed a fan/scout’s club in his honor, kept pestering him. He was also haunted by a certain dwarf and elf, who after tracking him down, would sneak in and polish his trophies, clean up his hut, to his unending vexation. Grinless rarely ever found true peace and quiet.

THE END…?