Where am I? I feel like I'm drowning but I'm somehow able to breath at the same time. I'm in this dark void with not even a hint of light. I can't hear anything. I can't feel anything. Wait! I think I just heard a voice. It sounds like a female. The voice is too muffled to make out exactly what she's saying. Oh, and what’s this? A light? 

As I was just processing the fact that my senses were starting to come back, I noticed that I was being pulled out of somewhere what seems to be between two legs. Wait, is the light that people claimed to see before you die is actually birth?! I hear someone crying. No wait, the one that's crying is me. Also, who is this man staring at me? It’s creepy, please stop sir! 

Someone suddenly yelled: “It's a boy!”, but that was just stating the most obvious thing ever. I've been a boy for 16 years already you know. I tried to move my hand. Why is my hand so small and fat?! What in the world is going on? Am I really a new-born baby? But that man staring down on me is not how my father looks like at all! So, am I inside someone else's body then? Like what you see in movies? How is that possible?! 

Though I do have to say that if that man is my father, I will be really handsome someday. He has a sharp jawline, healthy green hair, tall and slim but muscular at the same time, with eyes like a snake. Wait- EYES LIKE A SNAKE?! Are those fake lenses? Did he dye his hair green? It's so healthy though. Also, why am I now being laid down under a heating lamp? Just wrap me in some pieces of clothing to keep me warm. These people are so weird. Also where is my mother? Ah! There she is! I'm glad she looks normal. Wait, don’t babies have to drink their mother's milk after birth? Why are they not doing this? Also, why am I not hungry at all? So weird...