Somehow, somewhere, I fell asleep again…
What was it…
Six years ago?
When I looked over at Jane and rolled my eyes dramatically, she burst out laughing. Everyone turned to her and she feigned innocence, with convincing wide eyes.
Her mother leaned and whispered sternly in her ear.
My heart sank a bit. Did I just get her in trouble?
I heard her whisper back, “I just remembered something funny. Sorry.”
Her mother smiled and rubbed a hand over her hair. She glanced over at me and the corner of her mouth twitched up.
I let out the breath I was holding. Maybe she wasn’t in trouble after all. Her mom turned back to her and whispered something else. Jane smiled at her, nodded.
Her mother stood and addressed the other adults.
“How about we let the kids go out and play?”
Miyra, Lynn and Josephine’s other mother, nodded.
“I will watch them.”
Miyra ushered us outside and set us loose on the world.
Jane grabbed my hand and we ran over to the swing sets.
“This was kinda out of the blue,” I told her, but it was a good out of the blue. I was happy about it.
“Mom had a vision and Cian asked her to pass on a message, so I asked if I could come with.”
I paused.
A vision…
“She had another one?”
“Yeah, I heard her talking with Dad. She kept seeing a cave and a man. He kept saying the names Jade and Atella. Who knows what that means…”
I stopped swinging and turned to look at her. She was acting fine. She was smiling a bit and swinging, but… she seemed kind of sad today.
She’d mentioned her mother’s visions before, how some of them even woke her up in the middle of the night. Because both her mother and Cian sometimes had visions when they fell asleep.
“Are you doing okay?”
She pursed her lips and swung silently for a moment, thinking.
“People still react weird to my name. I try not to say I’m a Blackstone anymore. I just say Jane and hope they don’t ask.”
She stopped swinging suddenly, turning to give me a small smile. I took the hand she held out to me and smiled back at her.
People sometimes talked about the other Jane. Because she was named after her aunt, who was also named Jane Blackstone. They said she died. And whenever people heard the name Jane Blackstone, they all thought of the one that the girl sitting next to me on the swings wasn’t.
“I’ll be fine, Lee.”
I nodded.
I know.
“You know, you could write me if you feel upset about something.”
She laughed.
“I already write you.”
“It’s never about that stuff, though.” I shrugged. “All we do is send random stuff to each other.”
She gnawed on her lip a bit before smiling again.
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded and let go of my hand to start swinging again, seeming lighter and happier than before.
“I bet I can get higher than you.”
“No way.”
It was a lie. She could.
I smiled.
At least she was smiling. At least she could focus on something else. I didn’t like to see her upset. She tried to hide all her pain. She tried not to show it to others. Especially to her mom and dad. I think she wanted to spare them. Her parents had faced harsh realities head on, along with some of the rest of our parents.
Mine rarely talked about the past… and sometimes, I’d hear my dad say names in his sleep, his nightmares. Mom would have to wake him up… and then he’d cry.
He told me once that he’d lost his own memories because of Uncle Danny, and he was still regaining them decades later. He’d always said that knowing was better than never knowing, even if those memories were painful, they allowed us to see the people we can’t talk to anymore.
Even if we’re apart, we can see them again… if only for a minute.
“Hey!”
Josephine and Lynn came running over, grinning.
Jane and I waved and smiled at them.
“Jane! Lee!”
Lynn jumped and flew to the top of the swing set laughing. Soon, she was hanging upside down on the top bar above the swings.
Josephine walked up to the swings, looking up at her in exasperation.
“Really?”
Lynn laughed and sent a breeze under Josephine, lifting her up.
I still could never get used to her abilities…
Josephine crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at Lynn. She sighed heavily.
“Set me down.”
Lynn shook her head, laughing it up.
“Seriously? Put me down.”
Then, without warning, Lynn’s wind stopped and Josephine dropped to the ground.
She was ready, though, and landed as a wolf. On all fours. She huffed out a breath and shifted back into her human form. She brushed out her clothes, which now had wolf hair stuck to it.
She was the only wolf shifter who had that ability that we knew of, which was cool… She kept her clothing after a shift. Everyone else either stripped naked or just tore through their clothes. There were quite a few in our pack that had sewed up shirts because they tore through a shirt they liked, on accident.
But it went further than that for Josephine. She had been able to shift since birth, creating chaos as a kid. Driving both of her parents crazy.
I couldn’t get used to either of their abilities…
Their poor parents. Alpha Blakeley and Miyra.
“Lynn. Not cool.”
Josephine sat down on the grass, facing us.
“Sooooo…?” Lynn asked, eyes wide, looking at Jane.
Jane stared back, raising her eyebrows in question.
“What?”
“What’s it like having your wolf?!”
Lynn grinned, super excited, while Josephine rolled her eyes and laid down, staring up at the clouds rolling by. “Here we go,” she muttered.
Lynn made a face and gestured wildly with her hand.
“You don’t count, Jo. You’ve had yours since birth.” She turned and looked expectantly at Jane… who shrugged.
“I don’t know. It’s weird at first, but it’s easy to get used to.”
Lynn flipped down onto the ground.
“You shifted already then? How many times? What’s your wolf look like?”
“Just because we’re turning 13 in like a few months, doesn’t mean you have to ask everyone about their wolf,” Josephine snapped at Lynn.
She ignored her, still staring at Jane. “Are you going to answer?”
“I’ve shifted a few times. My wolf is gray.”
“You should shift now. Then we can see it and judge for ourselves.”
Jane’s eyes widened and she shook her head.
I felt a flush rise to my cheeks as I thought about her shifting. Despite everything the way it was for us, I was still kind of shy… though I wasn’t old enough myself to shift, I couldn’t imagine it would change my feelings much for the first few times. Lynn was practically telling her to just undress in front of us all.
“Leave her be,” I said, mostly hoping that Jane would agree with me.
Lynn turned to me, pouting. “Not you too.” She groaned, apparently not willing to fight for it. “Fine, but we should at least make a bet on who finds their mate first.”
“What?”
“No.”
Josephine was staring at her sister as if she didn’t even recognize her. She shook her head, adamantly.
Lynn floated over to her and rested her chin on her hands.
“Cause we all know you’re going to be last.”
Josephine sighed and looked off into the distance, not saying a word.
“That was a joke, Jo.” Lynn laughed. “But seriously, Jane’s going to find hers first. Lee, you’re going to be last.”
I tried to hide the growing pain blossoming in my chest. It felt physical, like someone squeezing my heart. I wanted… to be Jane’s chosen one. I wanted to be with her all the time.
I liked her… a lot. She was my best friend.
Why couldn’t I be first with Jane?
What was so wrong with that?
“Lynn, you’re last,” I blurted out. It was mostly to hide my true feelings. That scrunched up face… they wouldn’t take it as what it was if I said that… they wouldn’t know.
“Nope, I’m second.” She turned triumphantly to me, grin and all. That was only a second before she spotted William, who was laying on the grass, staring up at the sky. “Hey, Will!” She shouted, running over to him, tackling him when he sat up.
In an instant, they were sparring with each other, smiling the whole time. The rest of us shook our heads.
I stepped down onto the ground and gestured for Josephine to hop on. I pushed her and Jane on the swings, the only place I could really hide my face from them was to be behind them.
Why does Lynn always have to be fighting and competing?
Somehow, it felt like there was something about it… like, somewhere deep down she didn’t understand something about herself. Doesn’t feel confident? I shook my head. None of that sounded like Lynn. She radiated confidence.
Something bothered me about her though. I sighed. It was fine. She could remain a mystery in my mind.
It was fine.
I watched Jane and Josephine smile and laugh as I pushed them higher and higher.
Their happiness was contagious for me and before long, I was smiling too.
I opened my eyes to the silver cell again.
What a memory to think of, huh?
Some part of me then wished for what I had now with her.
That we, Jane and I, would be together.
And we were…
But we were also apart.
And that was more painful than any words Lynn could’ve given us.
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