Hengci watches Xu Wen stroll away, his steps long and majestic. He stares until he disappears into the bar, and Hengci has to look down at the phone in his hand to be certain that he hasn't just hallucinated the last few minutes.

Suddenly, it feels like a lump of burning coal in his hand, so he moves it to the other, and lifts his gaze once again to the entrance of the bar.

Will he ever come out again? he wonders.

He has to, he tells himself. I have his phone. 

But then he knows Laoshi enough to understand that if he does come to his senses, leaving the phone behind to escape Hengci would be nothing.

This makes Hengci wonder if he should let things play out, however way they will, or if he should go after Xu Wen himself and insist that he follows through on this proposition. 

With a sigh, he straightens and heads to the reception.

He pays with his own money, and barely notices the surprised look the familiar receptionist gives him.

Then he heads over to the elevators to wait as asked, his heart racing in his chest.

He won’t come, his mind tells him. He’s married. He would never do this.

The way Xu Wen had kissed him, however, keeps Hengci alert because, with it, he had tasted his need. 

And it had been raging.

Whether it was out of a true desire for him, however, or just spurred by the thrill of something so unexpected and explicit, he cannot tell. He needs to find out, so he waits, and the seconds tick on.

His image is reflected on the shut, steel doors of the elevators and he pays attention. He appears calm, but within he feels eighteen and haunted … all over again. 

The dawning brunt of consequences had preoccupied his mind back then, and once again it makes its reappearance with the message that he cannot make yet another mistake at the expense of this same person.

But is that what this would be? he wonders. A mistake?

He has a child, his mind buttresses, and a scowl darkens his face.

He pictures the child … and imagines him or her- beautiful, just like their father. Their mother, he has seen before and quickly puts out of his mind.

He imagines the child seated on Xu Wen's lap or being carried in his arms and in both scenarios, Xu Wen’s expression is warm and kind.

Envy burns like lava in the pit of his stomach.

The child would probably fall in love with its own parent, mesmerized and enthralled, but unlike Hengci, it would be given all of Xu Wen's love, attention, and affection… without restraint.

Hengci’s hand crushes around the phone in his hand, the reflection now revealing the hardness of his gaze.

“I, want to sit on his fucking lap,” he hisses under his breath, and this picture is bright and vivid in his mind.

The elevator doors ding open again, and Hengci lowers his gaze. Just then, he feels his skin prickle with awareness, the hairs on his body standing at attention.

He lifts his head, and although he sees nothing … he waits. 

A few seconds later, Xu Wen comes into sight.

Hengci almost cannot believe it. So he lays out a bit of reality that he can grasp onto.

He is only coming over to take his phone back.

So he looks his fill of him and awaits the unavoidable.

Xu Wen to him is the embodiment of exquisite … like porcelain. Sturdy and breathtaking, when handled correctly. But in the wrong hands, it could very easily lose its luster or shatter.

Hengci cannot stand the thought.

"I’m not happy… but I desperately want to be," Xu Wen’s words from earlier replays in his mind. "Nothing has felt good in a long time."

A vein twitches in Hengci’s temple. He wants to destroy whatever and whoever is the cause of these grievances.

They hold the other’s gaze until Xu Wen arrives and presses the elevator’s button.

“What floor?” he asks.

"9th,” Hengci responds, as he returns his phone.

Xu Wen’s gaze lifts to the display, as he slips it back into his pocket.

“Almost here,” he says and returns his attention to Hengci.

Hengci imagines that he looks both blank and distraught at the same time, but then Xu Wen smiles and Hengci remembers to blink.

The elevator arrives and Xu Wen moves out of the way for those exiting, his body brushing familiarly against Hengci.

Hengci recalls a time when Xu Wen had been unwilling to touch him, much less look at him, and had gotten teased incessantly for it.

Now he feels as though he is the one that should keep his distance, for the sake of his mind remaining intact.

The elevator empties out and they walk in together.

A few other people join them, and the ensuing silence as the elevator ascends rings through Hengci’s ear like a bell.

Never has he been more aware of the presence of another human as he is in this moment.

All of him gravitates towards Laoshi’s heat and scent like a magnet, yearning… as though for a warm blanket on a cold night.

At the brush of their arms against the other’s, Hengci feels Xu Wen steal a glance at him. 

He doesn’t return it, but wishes for the millionth time that he could read Laoshi’s mind. 

The elevator continues to stop and resume for its passengers to embark and disembark until finally, they arrive on the ninth floor.

Hengci steps out immediately, welcoming the cool, clean air from the hallway. A second more in that enclosed box and he might have had his tongue down Xu Wen’s throat, demanding his oxygen back.

One leads the way while the other trails behind, and soon they arrive at the room. Hengci slots the card in, and although it beeps he doesn’t push it open. Instead, and clinging to one last thread of reasoning for Xu Wen’s sake, he glances back at him.

"Change your mind yet?”

Xu Wen gives him a dark look.

It is a very familiar one- a scolding and a smack all in one. Hengci takes a few moments to revel in it.

He heads in, slips his shoes off, and stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. He then turns around to meet that Xu Wen is already shrugging out of his jacket.

It is flung aside, and then the base of his tie is pulled.

Hengci’s throat goes dry.

"I thought we were just going to talk?" his voice comes out as barely above a whisper.

"There’s nothing to talk about," Xu Wen replies as his tie is pulled over his head, and the tails of his shirt wrenched out of his pants.

“Come here," he says, and like a puppet, Hengci goes over.

A corner of Xu Wen's lips lifts. "It’s rare to see you so obedient."

Hengci looks into his eyes and wonders if Xu Wen is intoxicated. He doesn’t think he had drunk so much but then again, Laoshi could never really hold down his liquor.

Xu Wen’s hands go to undo the buttons of Hengci’s waistcoat, and every unrelated thought from then on clears from his head.

"Remember when I used to kiss you to get you to study harder?"

His low, hoarse tone washes over Hengci like a drug.

"I don’t think that happened more than once."

Xu Wen smiles. "Maybe, but it seems to be the most effective way of getting you to listen to me.”

He pushes the waistcoat off Hengci’s shoulders, and it falls down his arms.

“Kissing you- I mean.”

Hengci’s breath catches in his throat. His gaze moves to the delicate fan of Xu Wen’s lashes… the flattering slope of his nose… the two high arcs of his top lip, dipping and forming a perfect cupid’s bow.

His huge, gorgeous ears.

Hengci finds his hand reaching out and doesn't stop it from finally getting to stroke and trace along the edge.

Xu Wen doesn't stop him either.

"I've always wondered what going all the way with you would get me,” Xu Wen says, eyes shut at Hengci’s feather-light caress.

"A stalker," Hengci replies, and Xu Wen's eyes shoot open. He seems stunned, but only for a moment before he bursts out laughing.

Shaking his head, he moves away to settle on the edge of the bed, his shoulders still trembling with amusement.

Hengci watches him. "I’m serious."

"I know you are," Xu Wen replies.

Hengci heads over, and lightly taps his shoulder. “Move up,” he says, and Xu Wen complies.

Hengci does the same and then settles astride him.

"The first time I saw you hard was when you came out of the bathroom. Remember? You had a towel on but I could still see it all.”

Hengci rocks the bulge straining against Xu Wen’s pants.

At his heavy release of breath, Xu Wen’s eyes flutter shut.

"I really shouldn’t have let you stay with me."

Hengci pulls off his bow tie and tosses it aside. "Would you have done so for any other student?”

Xu Wen stares up at him as though lost in thought, and Hengci detects his hesitation.

His hand splays around Xu Wen’s neck and then he kisses him … hard.

A hum at the sweetness vibrates at the back of his throat, convincing him that his appetite for Xu Wen’s tongue in his mouth will never be sated. 

He pulls away at the realization to look into his eyes, in disbelief that he currently has this moment with him, but yet disheartened because this is all he will ever get with him- moments.

Xu Wen’s eyes however are bright and eager as they stare back at him, his excitement evident.

"Now that I think about it," he says, and Hengci’s heart palpitates at his very voice. "I might have been manipulated into letting you stay with me without even realizing it."

Hengci admits to nothing.

"What was your move for getting what you wanted out of me?"

Hengci smiles and kisses him again. "I truly had nowhere else to go."

He strokes Xu Wen’s hair just like he’d wanted to earlier, and then lowers to press a kiss to his brow. He comes up again and meets Xu Wen’s gaze, and the intensity in them causes his soul to wrench.

He lowers once more to kiss the other brow and continues, until every part of Xu Wen’s face is kissed.

The tip of his nose… the edges of his eyes, his cheeks … along his jaw … the jut of his chin.

He feels himself tremble, the recollection of years of longing and remorse … of bitter nights and drunken days, flooding him.

He chokes back a sob, his lungs heaving, and once again finds his consolation in Xu Wen’s mouth.

In response, Xu Wen’s arms curl around him, and Hengci is kissed back so thoroughly that not till his back is landing on the bed does he realize that he has been flipped over.

Xu Wen too sits astride him, and then his hands and flying down his buttons.

Hengci helps wrench the shirt down his arms, leaving Xu Wen bare-chested and delectable. Hengci’s hands then splay across the hard ridges, his thumb flicking across a hardened nipple.

At Xu Wen’s sharp inhale, Hengci meets his heavy, heated gaze and holds it as he leans forward to suck the aroused peak into his mouth.

“Ah-h,” Xu Wen shudders, fingers raking into Hengci’s hair at the back of his head.

His hips grind against Hengci’s crotch, and Hengci’s arms lock around his waist. He moves his focus to Xu Wen’s other nipple and lavishes it with attention, his teeth grazing and nipping, and his tongue sucking with abandon.

"Oh …” Xu Wen moans, head tilting backward as the gyration of his hips intensifies. Hengci watches him, parted lips and flushed skin, and wonders if they are just dallying or truly taking their time.

He presses a kiss to the middle of his chest, right where his heart is, and resists the urge to press his ear against the surface. To hear the thrumming and know that at this moment, Hengci is the cause of its wildness.

Holding Xu Wen even tighter, he licks and kisses up his skin, his mouth eventually closing around the protrusion in the middle of his neck.

There is a vicious kick to his gut at the pleasure that ensues, rendering Hengci as hard as stone.

He grabs Xu Wen’s hips, his pulse racing as he buries his face in the nook between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in. 

Xu Wen strokes him, his touch filled with affection and then he pulls away to stare into his eyes.

Between them pass a thousand words, but then not a single one is said aloud. Instead, Xu Wen grabs onto his face and kisses him, wild and passionately.

By the time Hengci comes up for air, he is breathless and whimpering, and is so drained of strength that he simply just falls back to the bed the moment Xu Wen lets go. 

Xu Wen laughs, the sound melodious and so beautiful, that Hengci can do nothing but stare.

“No one looks at me like this,” Xu Wen says.

"Like what,” Hengci mouths.

"You know what I mean,” Xu Wen leans forward and over, his hands by both sides of Hengci's head.

“Well, no one loves you as much as I do,” he says. “You do know this right?”

Xu Wen’s response is a sigh and a disappearing smile, and Hengci tenses.

Reenergized, his arms circle around Xu Wen and he is once again flipped back onto the bed. 

This earns him another one of Xu Wen’s enchanting laughs.

"Do you always have to assert some form of dominance?”

Hengci’s tone is sullen and accusatory. “How else will you stop solely regarding me as a child?”

"You are my child," he says, and Hengci stops, emotion nearly overwhelming him. However, not all of it is pleasant.

Vindictive, he lowers over Xu Wen, and thrusts hard against his crotch.

"Ah," Xu Wen shudders, head digging into the pillow. “Fuck."

With a hand closing around Xu Wen’s dick, Hengci cups him and squeezes hard.

"You treat your child like this?" he asks, watching as Xu Wen writhes restlessly beneath him.

A ghost of a smile seems to tug at Xu Wen’s lips, but it is so sad that it disappears as soon as it arrives. 

Hengci feels a terrible chill slither up his spine, and wants to ask, but he holds back. Instead, he leans down once again and kisses him, chasing both of their demons away. 

Xu Wen grabs at his belt and unbuckles him, his hand moving past the barrier of his pants and briefs in no time.

Hengci is so stunned at this that he breaks off the kiss, eyes widened as Xu Wen’s hand closes around his girth.

“Fuck,” he hears Xu Wen’s hiss and watches his eyes come open. “I never knew you were this big.”

Hengci cocks his head at him, pulse racing out of control at the feral hunger he meets in Xu Wen’s eyes.

Xu Wen’s pink tongue slips out to lick across his lower lips as he strokes Hengci underneath, and Hengci can once again feel his arms weakening.

Slut, he thinks to himself as he watches Xu Wen’s sparkling eyes, and burning gaze, but doesn’t dare say this aloud because Laoshi would probably smack him dead.

In fact, he would probably not be left alive if Xu Wen ever knew just how filthy his thoughts towards him were. Especially back then.

His ultimate fantasy to this day remains Laoshi on his knees before him, with his hands tied behind his back, completely at his mercy. And this is mostly because beyond this state, when lust and euphoria could completely overtake his senses and strip his pride, Laoshi’s air of authority and dignity is without parallel.

Hengci wants a collar with a leash around Xu Wen’s neck gripped in one hand, and perhaps a whip of some sort in his other.

Xu Wen would be sore and entranced, pulsing with need and with stars in his eyes.

Hengci completely collapses against him now, a wretched moan rumbling through him as Xu Wen’s thumb rubs into his slit.

Xu Wen kisses him, amused and Hengci knows that this cannot go any further.

”If I take you… I might not ever allow us to stop,” he manages to say. “Ever.”

Xu Wen goes still, eyes boring into his.

“So I’m going to give you one last chance to back out.”