Ash

The yelling and banging from the couple next door woke him up. Grasping the thin bedsheets, Ash shut his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep.

Hopefully, the noises would die soon; the room shook a little if they started to slam doors and cupboards. While he didn’t have many possessions, it would be terrible if it knocked his glass of water off the table.

More yelling, this time it was the man, something about killing someone. Years ago, the same muffled death threats and thumping from the rooms around him scared him to where he couldn’t breathe.  

It took several months for him to adjust to the neighbors’ voices and noises. Now, he was working on his own voice, so today, he was thankful that it wasn’t his own screams that woke him up.

Every single day, he was grateful that he woke up in his own bed, in his own apartment, instead of that dark room, the one surrounded by strangers—

CLAP!

He clapped his cheeks and took a deep breath. 

Ouch! Why did I do that?!

Out of habit, he slapped his face with both hands. Ash carefully pushed himself off the bed and took another gulp of air. It hurt too much to be awake. His hand and his heart throbbed with pain today. 

Ash clumsily dressed his hand in the antibiotic and gauze that AJ bought for him yesterday night. Still, it didn’t feel any better today.

Yesterday was a terrible day. His coworkers must have seen AJ yell at him. Everyone avoided him after the incident, but he could feel them salivating for the details. And they might even know about his drawings, but Ash treasured AJ’s compliment despite this fear. 

~

Earlier, Sebastian awkwardly asked if he was alright, and all that Ash could do was nod in response.

Nothing he said could protect him from nasty rumors at work. It was best to stay quiet since everyone was going to make their own assumptions anyway.

AJ wouldn't even call him by his name. 

It bothered him a little, but he didn't hate it; dishie was a lot better than dish bitch.

Water dripped in a steady rhythm from the rusty tap, somewhat calming his nerves. Gripping the sides of the peeling speckled laminate countertop until his knuckles were white, he stared at his reflection.

I’m so…I’m nothing. 

He foolishly thought that they could be friends. AJ helped him when no one else would. But then he pushed him away when others were around.

Why am I even thinking about him? Not like I’ll ever see him again anyway.

Finished with cleaning the only working toilet stall in the women’s restroom, he made his way back to the dish pit while wondering how vomit got on the walls and ceilings. 

~

Before he knew it, all of his coworkers had left, and it was time for him to do so as well.

Laughter, music, and the sound of the neighborhood unwinding after a hard day’s work stopped Ash right in his tracks. 

Too late. 

He was already in front of the red brick building.

Almost every night, he would cross the street, and his stomach would rumble at the pictures plastered on the windows of the sushi restaurant. 

Five streetlights later, the scent of gross greasy pizzas quelled his hunger.

Nights bled into weeks, weeks into months. How long has it been now? Three—no, four years of this nightly grind has ingrained this route into his subconscious.

A curious creature by nature, Ash glanced inside the bar, hoping that the reflections from the windows would conceal him from the crowd inside. 

Despite the place having only standing room left, the blonde waiter smoothly wove around the patrons, delivering martinis and other fancy drinks that he didn’t recognize. At the end of the bar, AJ was adding finishing touches to a tall red glass. Garnishes included a toothpick with round balls on them. And a few sticks. 

Baffled, Ash crept closer. AJ slid the drink decorated with various vegetable sticks to a tall redhead across the counter. 

The lady plucked the celery and licked the stalk while gazing at AJ. A slight frown crept its way to his brows as he watched the creepy lady ogle at AJ.

AJ mouthed something to the guest before giving her a seductive grin. A brown-haired man at the other end of the bar waved at him, and he quickly made his way to them.

After a few minutes with them, AJ produced a shot glass and gave it to them. The guest raised the shot at AJ and the rest of the guests sitting at the bar. 

A beautiful smile graced AJ’s face as he lined up a dozen shot glasses. Mesmerized, Ash watched him flip a bottle, then fill every glass with dark liquor.

After each guest had a glass in hand, he did another flip before pouring himself one. They all laughed and cheered before downing the shots.

He could never be a part of that world. The crowd would swallow him whole; if the anxiety didn’t kill him, then the alcohol poisoning would finish the job. 

Ash’s heart lurched and stopped when AJ looked past the guests’ shoulders. AJ’s charming smile turned into a menacing scowl as soon as their eyes met.