Montgomery slammed the door in his steward’s face. 

Slamming doors was pretty routine. Scout Richards had been steward for Captain Montgomery Montgomery since before the Captain got the job on the task force, back when he was just an idealistic upstart in the Royal Navy. So like, a year ago. In that time, Captain Montgomery had proven just as pretentious as his name suggested. Seriously, who would name their kid ‘Montgomery Montgomery?’ 

Rich people, that’s who. 

Being a steward was the easiest job that Scout had ever worked. It was pretty much like being a full-time waiter, only with more sword fighting. No tips, but he got a sword and a pistol.

Plus, Montgomery was easy to work for. He was going through a ‘social justice’ phase, convinced that his stuck-up, entitled white self was a gift to the impoverished and disenfranchised. Montgomery went out of his way to be nice to ‘the staff,’ and anyone he outranked was ‘staff.’ He gave speeches about how open-minded he was for not flogging his steward for combing his hair wrong.

Scout spit in his soup sometimes. 

Captain Montgomery was tightly wound, stuffed inside a too-tight uniform, his hair pulled back tight enough to threaten circulation to his brain. Little things, sometimes nothing at all, set him off. He cried often. Scout only knew about it because sometimes he walked in on the Captain wiping tears out of his long lashes. It was always awkward, but Montgomery had the decency not to bring it up. He’d started locking his door when he needed to cry.

Which he should have been doing in the first place. Seriously, what is wrong with rich people?

The Pirate Captain, Lawrence, was a godsend. Montgomery had relaxed since they’d started dating. His mood was always a little better after one of Lawrence’s visits. The pirate captain dropped by every few weeks, ordering his ship to sail alongside Montgomery’s pristine vessel so they could rendezvous. 

Captain Montgomery told the staff that Lawrence was part of a ‘pirate reform program,’ but the ship’s walls were thin. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and Montgomery’s high-pitched whines were audible across the ship. The pirate captain took his time, unwinding the tension that kept Montgomery on edge, easing him into a state of complete relaxation. It started with muffled whines, then grew into a chorus of begging, finally becoming desperate pleas for ‘more!’ 

The pirate captain was apparently very good at what he did.

Scout heard the whole thing because his room shared a wall with the captain’s quarters. Most of the crew fled to the pirate ship so they didn’t have to listen.

Also, because the pirates had rum. 

The captain’s rendezvous had become so frequent that Lawrence and Montgomery’s crews had gotten to know each other. Order tended to dissolve when the pirate ship appeared. Montgomery’s crew left their ship and boarded the Boattega. The party started when the pirates brought out rum. Someone always had a guitar. The pirates seriously threw the best parties. 

Before Montgomery slammed the door in his steward’s face, he gave him complete instructions about his need for some kind of sun umbrella. Scout pretended to listen. As far as he was concerned, when the Boattega was around, he was on break. As soon as Montgomery slammed the door, Scout left for the pirate ship. The message to the quartermaster could wait, there was a mug of rum with his name on it.