"You know the pizza here is the best in the whole world. " I declared in a muffled voice, for my mouth was filled with a whole slice of a mixed vegetable pizza.
" Yeah, I think I have heard this the fifth time. " Nathan replied while playing with his phone. Nathan was my highschool friend, sometimes an annoying one , to be truthful, but nevertheless he was my only friend in this new suburb. My mother and I had shifted here about six months ago for the work transfer my mom's company gave her. Talking about my mom, she is a bit too chessy and can be stubborn and overprotective of me at times but she is still the best.
Nathan stood up, stretching his arm. Nathan had always been a type of boy over whom any girl would fall head over heels. He was an inch taller than me and his light muscular framework stood in sharp contrast to my skinny body. It wasn't just in matters of looks. Nathan had a rich background too. His parents were in some kind of private business. Sometimes, I even consider how on earth I became friends with this guy. His tanned skin, brown curly hairs and strikingly handsome face would shake the hearts of many. You might think that this kind of description sounded a bit peculiar coming out from a boy like me. But what can I say... Honestly...I am kind of weird, I guess.
But I can certainly say that I never looked at Nathan beyond a friend. This is something most 'normal' people don't understand. That being like this doesn't mean that you would be attracted to every next man. I had known this thing about me from the time I was an eighth grader but I have been avoiding this topic with most people all along . I have never told this secret to anyone, neither Nathan nor my mom, though I feel that they would understand me but still, in the corner of my heart I am just afraid that they might be disappointed in me.
"I think we should leave now.. You already had three large size pizzas and I am certainly not buying you anymore. Even though this is your birthday." Nathan declared pulling me out of my thoughts. Wait, did I mention that today was my twentieth birthday, maybe not...I stood up and looked out of the glass door of the cafe. It was already getting darker. We were at my favorite cafe. The 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 has been my first choice from the time I shifted here.
"Usually people eat cake on their birthdays and look at you..Tell me, aren't you bored eating pizza all the time? " He asked.
"Are you ever bored while kissing your girlfriend? " I replied shortly. He raised an eyebrow.
"That's completely different. "
"No, it's not, because pizza is my first love. " I declared and chuckled at my own joke. Nathan just rolled his eyes .
While we were exiting the cafe after Nathan had paid the bill for treating me; out of the blue he just said, "You know sometimes, even these things can get...boring..I mean-"
"That's because you are an Asshole. " I commented, sharply and he gave me "really" type glare and we both fell into a loud laugh.
We kept laughing till we got to his car. I really could never understand how his parents ever accepted to give their twenty year old son a Mercedes car. My mom was even reluctant when I had asked for a laptop as if I might try hacking an official website and end up ten years in a prison. I sat on the front passenger seat, beside Nathan.
I glanced out of the window at the world beyond. The sky was painted in colours of orange, pink and blue. The cool breeze of the month of July was mesmerising me as the lively green trees were running in the opposite direction. This greenery was one of the few things I liked about this place. Let me be clear. There are not many things I do like.
"Is there anywhere else you wish to go? " Nathan asked, breaking the silence. I thought for a second. Earlier, Nathan had asked me if I would like to throw a party, but I immediately denied because I am an extreme epitome of a strange creature called - an Introvert. So in the end we just decided on watching a marvel movie , some drinks and, not to mention my lovely pizza.
"Let's go to the Beach! " I suggested. He gave me a puzzled look.
"At this hour.. ".
I shrugged.
" You were the one who asked. So it's up to you... ". He remained silent for a few minutes but then said, " Alright". And took a sharp turn towards the road which led to the beach.
First reason for suggesting the beach was that my mom was out at work and would not be home for the next two days so my apartment was unusually quiet. And I certainly did not want this birthday to end with me being lonely. And secondly, I felt good at the beach. The sounds of the hushing waves and the sight of the setting sun always gave me peace. For Nathan and me it was kind of a secret sweet spot. Whenever either of us had a bad day, we would sit on the wet sand and drink and bicker and hear each other's nagging and stupid jokes. I could not believe that a person like me could get this close to anyone only in a few months to the point where I would share with him all my problems and my secrets .... all but one.
It was about half past five in the evening when we reached our spot. The place was beside a dried log with a shallow hole in the front where we occasionally did camp fire. I sat on the warm sand and put my back on the support of the log.
"I'm going to get some drinks, you want some... " Nathan asked while standing. I gave him a nod and within moments he disappeared. I gazed at the vast sea in front of me. The endless waves were conquering the land and then receding back leaving behind a trail of wet sand and fuzz. On the horizon, the sun was on the brink of setting and some dark clouds were also gathering in the sky. I closed my eyes and waited for Nathan.
Nathan returned in about fifteen minutes. He gave me a can of beer and I drank the whole can in one sip. We both remained silent for a minute but the silence was not an uncomfortable one, it felt quite warm. But like the last time Nathan was the first to interrupt the silence.
"Is there something you want to talk about? " He said in a somewhat concerned tone. As if he knew what I was thinking.
"Not really... " I said while trailing off thinking about my only secret. This was kind of usual. Whenever my mind was empty, these thoughts always creeped in from nowhere. It wasn't like I was fantasizing some erotic thoughts. I just thought what would my coming-out feel like. I played in my mind a hundred possible reaction Nathan would give me if I told him I was gay. Maybe he would think I am joking, or maybe he would be angry for not telling him earlier, or maybe he would just be disgusted, or maybe he would accept me, or maybe even all of them. I was already on my fifth beer and I was already feeling dizzy. But Nathan was cautious not to drink more than two beers because he was the driver.
I stood up. "Let's swim!! " I announced, no, almost shouted and ran wildly towards the waves. Nathan was cried from behind me asking me to stop. But I had turned into a stupid wild colt, incapable of any conscience or wisdom. I ran and ran until my legs left the surface and I was swimming, warm, cool water surrounding me. Nathan was still behind me- swimming hard to catch up with me. He was shouting something but I could not well make out what he was saying above the sound of water splashes and my own puffing breath. This sudden outburst of energy was just too much. Soon a loud crackling sound took my breath away. It was lightning. A storm was approaching. I looked up at the sky which was already dark and spoke of a bad storm. I should get back. I started swimming backwards but before I could realise my position.
It hit me.
A huge wave of water overshadowed me, almost swallowing me in the depth of the waters . But I still swam. With all the force my muscles could provide me with. I came up, gasping for breath. I looked around. The wave had brought me away from the coast. The peaceful sea was now an uneven terrain, using all its power to drown me, but something was missing. Something very important!!
Where was Nathan!
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