*TRIGGER WARNING* This page dives into mental health, sexuality, and bullying. 

Dear diary, 

Hi! it's been a while... 

So I've been back at school for a few weeks now and god has some crazy stuff happened. 

Where do I start?

So when I last spoke to you I became very overwhelmed with life. I will be honest I went into a really bad place, like a place I have never been to before. I could hardly leave bed for a while, I couldn't eat and the tears would not stop. Something that always helps me is music, music is the only thing that can calm me down.  I will go into more details about my music taste later...  

Anyway, as I said earlier, I'm back at school. what fun that has been...NOT  as you will soon learn I hate school a lot. I hate this place. Why do I have to come here? I know education is important but people they can be awful.  I have never admitted this but I get bullied. I know you don't know what I look like but I am fat... I always remember last year, when I was changing in PE somebody decided to take a picture of me topless and send it around the school. This broke me. I felt ashamed, I felt violated and I felt dirty. the fact that all those people saw my body. I have always hated my body I couldn't imagine what people were saying behind my back. They must be disgusted, 

My best friend has always been a great support system for me. Her name is Holly. I would honestly be lost without her. She also understands me. we can chat for hours. I haven't always told her everything because I'm scared to admit the truth about myself. Maybe that's because I struggle to say this is who I am. 

Anyway, I can talk to England sometimes. you may be wondering where I am at with my sexuality, I've done a lot of thinking, I know I'm gay. But why me? Surely it is wrong? Is it wrong?

I have tried my hardest to like girls you know the normal thing but I just can't be normal. Why am I like this? How would I tell people? Do I have to "come out" because if I did people would treat me differently, I mean not like it could get any worse, actually yes it could. Aghhh 

OMG, I lost track of time. it's late and I should sleep ready for school. 

I promise that I will write again tomorrow. a weight has been lifted off my shoulders being able to write this down. 

Goodnight. 

G x