I was deeply into my book, about at the climax. I turned the page, quickly devouring the words as I found myself heavily invested in the outcome when, to my deep annoyance, someone knocked on my door.
I didn’t particularly appreciate getting pulled out of my story, and I looked up to frown at my door as if it was to blame for the interruption. Carolers, probably? Or a solicitor of some variety? I never had real visitors, so maybe if I just stayed quiet then they would go away.
I went back to my book, but didn’t even get through an entire sentence before a knock sounded again. I shrank down in my chair, hoping that they wouldn’t keep knocking, but I wasn’t that lucky.
When the knock came, yet again, I sighed very reluctantly, placed a bookmark, and got up to go check the door. I checked the peephole first when, to my shock, I saw the angel outside with someone else I didn’t recognize.
Oh, shoot. Had I messed up? Maybe I should have given him his ruined clothes but I’d thrown them away already. It had been three days since he left and I’d assumed it was safe to do so. Shoot, shoot, shoot. That was the only thing he left here and clearly I’d made the wrong call.
With a heavy heart, I opened the door but left the chain in place so the door only opened a couple of inches.
“Sorry,” I told him without bothering with a greeting. “I threw away your old clothes. I can try to track them down but it’ll take a few days, probably, with the holidays.”
He blinked, clearly confused. “Wait – what?”
“That was the only thing you left here,” I explained in my quiet voice. “You didn’t have your phone on you. Or did you need to know where I found you?” That was the only other potential reason I could see for him to be back here.
He looked so confused that words seemed to have failed him, so his companion sort of shoved him out of the way so he could see through the couple of inches of open door and look at me.
“Hi, I’m Colt, this moron’s friend.” The other angel flashed me a model-worthy smile. Actually…no, wait, I was pretty sure this guy was a model. I’d seen his picture on advertisements somewhere.
“We’re not here for his old clothes or whatever, although thanks for the offer?” Colt sounded like he wasn’t entirely sure he actually was grateful for that. “Tommy said you apparently don’t celebrate Christmas, which is super weird, and seriously, dude, it’s a nice holiday, you should reconsider. But point is, we wanted to thank you for helping Tommy so we came to invite you to dinner. Christmas Eve dinner,” he added, as if I didn’t know what day it was.
I looked at him, nonplussed. Strangers were inviting me to dinner with them. If I didn’t know the context, this would probably sound like the start of a murder story, but I wasn’t really worried about my safety with that idea. Just my sanity.
There was a part of me that wanted to say yes because I was so lonely and this was a chance to be with someone for a few hours on a holiday. It was a nice opportunity, right?
But the bigger part of me balked. These were people I wasn’t comfortable with and who knew how many other people there’d be. I hated social events. In fact, I had a bad tendency to back out of things at the last minute because I’d agree, thinking it would be a good opportunity, but my nerves would freak me out and when it was time to go, I just couldn’t do it. The idea of spending an evening with a bunch of strangers sounded like a horror movie to me. One-on-one strangers weren’t so bad, but a crowd of them sometimes made me feel like I was suffocating. That would be the equivalent to torture, sitting there for hours pretending I was okay with being around a bunch of people while my energy was slowly being drained to nothing. Not to mention that events like that honestly made me feel even more lonely when I got away. I remembered one of my first company parties where I’d gone to try to make friends with coworkers, only to barely talk to anyone because everyone was too busy talking to their friends and I wasn’t bold enough to just come up and introduce myself. The party had been a brutal reminder that I was always alone, even in the middle of a crowd.
Yeah, I knew being lonely meant I should try to socialize more, right? But this particular kind of socialization was not for me. Too much stress and that was even when I knew the people. With perfect strangers? This had a lot more potential to go badly than to turn out well for me.
“Um, no,” I started to close the door. “But thank you.” The door clicked shut and I started to turn the deadbolt.
Then someone knocked again. “We’re not done!” Colt called out.
I cringed a little, sighed, and opened the door again just a crack, chain still in place. “What do you need?”
“Can we come in?” He gave me a wide, unperturbed smile. “This is going to be easier if we can just talk to you than if we look like we’re lurking in the hallway.”
My brows furrowed. “It will take that long? What do you need?” I repeated.
“We’re not here to rob you,” Colt sounded a little amused.
“I know.” I looked at him blankly.
“So let us in?” He suggested.
I didn’t like that idea because I didn’t know what he wanted to come in for. Not to rob me, sure, but what was there to talk about? He’d offered his invitation out of courtesy, I’d declined, so…our business was done, right?
I decided to just ask him. “Why?”
Colt shrugged. “Because I don’t want to stand out here in the hall talking to you through a door?”
That wasn’t an answer. It didn’t explain why he needed to come inside to talk to me when there was nothing to talk about.
“Okay, enough.” The other angel grabbed Colt and pushed him aside so he could see me again. “Can we please come in, Cooper? I promise we’ll leave after we talk if you want us to.”
More talking…about what? Maybe the invitation was just a ruse. Maybe they actually needed to talk about something else – supernatural politics of some variety, no doubt? I sighed a bit, shut the door in his face so I could undo the chain, and reluctantly opened the door and stepped back to allow the two angels inside.
Colt came through the door last, and he looked around as I shut the door behind them, whistling out loud. “Really? No decorations? Tommy wasn’t kidding! What do you have against Christmas, man? It’s the best holiday!”
I frowned a little at him and made an awkward motion toward the couch. “You can sit if you want.”
My apartment didn’t have a lot of furniture, but that was by choice rather than finances. I just didn’t see the point. It was just me, so one chair for the dining room table, one comfy chair for reading, and one couch for stretching out while I watched movies. I didn’t need more than that.
I waited as they sat, folding my arms across my chest and trying not to look as uncomfortable in this situation as two strangers invading my personal zone actually made me. “So, um, what did you need to talk about?”
Tommy leaned back in the sofa, starting to sink into the cushions. “This sofa is a lot more comfy than it looked. No wonder you didn’t mind sleeping here for a couple days. I’d probably fall asleep while watching TV all the time with this thing.”
That was surely not what they came here to talk about. But small talk was…no, I was no good at anticipating other people’s reasons for things anymore. Sure, I could mark this on my calendar as a high point in my holidays since my family had died since I had two whole people in my apartment other than me, but the problem was they were strangers and I didn’t know what they wanted and they didn’t seem to want to get to the point.
Colt was looking at me, his eyes almost burrowing into me like he could somehow read my soul if he looked long enough. It made me distinctly uncomfortable, but I didn’t dare ask him to stop because that could make him angry, and angry strangers were even more draining than the normal non-angry variety.
“So,” he finally drawled, “what do you have against Christmas, Cooper?”
…
That was what he wanted to talk about?
I frowned, confused. “I don’t hate it. I just don’t celebrate it. Why does it matter?”
“Because I’m trying to figure out why you won’t come to Christmas Eve dinner with us,” Colt explained as if that made perfect sense.
Tommy finally brought his attention off the couch to me. “You don’t have to come if you really don’t want to, it’s just – we don’t like owing people debts. Not that a dinner is exactly fair exchange for saving my life, though.” He shrugged a little, looking abashed.
“You don’t owe me a debt.” I frowned again. I thought that had been established already. “I did it on my own and I don’t need – or want – anything in return. Besides,” I added almost as an afterthought, “clearly I should have taken you to the hospital instead, so since I messed that up, that makes it about even with helping you out, if you want to think of it that way. So, no debt, no need to thank me.” I took a step towards the door.
“You didn’t need to take me to the hospital, I was just surprised that you didn’t, especially when you’re not a doctor yourself,” Tommy explained. He seemed almost hesitant, like he was trying to navigate a tricky situation. It reminded me of me trying to navigate every single conversation I’d ever had.
Colt got up and started wandering around my apartment, his look as he did so making me feel like he was judging my life choices. “You seriously should come to dinner with us,” he said out loud, his eyes skimming my books, and I caught the slight eyeroll he gave – he didn’t strike me as the kind of person that would really appreciate books, and I had a lot of books. “Adelaide is cooking and she makes the most heavenly dishes – no pun intended. You’re just here, what, reading, watching TV all by yourself instead? Boring. You need to celebrate! Come on – relax a little, enjoy yourself!”
Coming to this dinner would not be relaxing nor a way to enjoy myself, but it might be a way to make them leave me alone, which might be worth it. One evening of torture to get my peace back.
I hesitated. “If I come, will you call it even? No more supposed debts or surprise visits?”
Tommy had joined Colt at the bookshelves, though he seemed to actually be more genuinely interested in the books, taking time to peruse the options, but now he paused to look at me. “You don’t want us to talk to you again? Do you have something against angels?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have anything against any supernaturals, but what I didn’t like was random strangers stuffing themselves into my space for no reason. It was claustrophobic. “No, but we’re not friends or anything and I don’t like surprise visits.”
Tommy looked thoughtful while Colt rolled his eyes again.
“Dude, relax, it’s not that big of a deal. But does that mean you’ll come?”
I hated it when people said that. People who didn’t understand what being an introvert was and how taxing just being around people was – people who weren’t my people, that is. My family hadn’t drained me, Sean hadn’t when we’d been together, but most other people…yes. Even the ones I’d tried to be friends with, just the stress of constantly putting in the effort and hoping it was enough was draining. But people who weren’t introverts could rarely understand or respect my feelings and I usually gave up on trying, finding it simpler to just suffer through an exhausting evening than fight back. Fighting back was even more exhausting than just quietly trying to survive.
“Fine,” I said quietly, my shoulders slumping a little in defeat. There went my nice evening of reading my book. I was now doomed to spending an evening with strangers who, based on Colt alone, were likely to be loud and excitable, exactly the kind of people who were extra tiring.
“Great!” Colt made a fist-pumping motion. “Then come on, grab your coat or whatever – no need to dress up, it’s just us. Need some shoes, too, I guess?”
Trying not to drag my feet in dread of this evening, I reluctantly gathered up a coat, hat, and scarf, pulled on my boots, and retrieved my keys before following them out into the hallway. When we got to the ground floor, I started to suggest I bring my own car – mostly so I could leave whenever I wanted, which would make my life easier – but Colt ignored me, pushing me towards his car and saying something about how rude they’d be if they didn’t take care of driving me there and back themselves.
So I sunk into the back seat, quietly cursing the form of politeness that Colt seemed determined to exhibit, and resigned myself to an extra miserable Christmas Eve. Sure, it wouldn’t have been great just being alone at home, but this was worse.
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