Wednesday, January 3, ????

    School got canceled because of ice and snow, but It wasn’t all that happy.

   “Kinkay, come here,” My dad yelled from the living room, I slowly opened my door and walked towards him, just to have a bottle smashed over my head.

   “Why are you still hanging around that boy!?” 

   “I’m the only one he has and I love him, how many times do I have to say it,” I say holding my head in pain.

   “Break up with him, or you're going to live with your mom,” he says pointing at my room and then the door. I slowly walk to my room, tears stinging my eyes, my dad follows behind me.  

   I walk up to my window and my dad stands in my doorway. Yooki’s already at his window looking scared, I guess he heard the fighting again. “Are you ok,” he says, his voice a little shaky.

   “I’m fine,” I say not looking at him but looking at my hands placed on the window sill. 

   “Ok,” he says and by the tone, I can tell he has a small smile. I want to look up at him with a smile like I always do but I can feel my dad’s glare burning into me.

   “Y-yooki,” I never call him by his real name when we’re home, and never does he, so it hurts.

   “Yeah?” by the tone in his voice I can tell he’s a little worried, I don’t want him to be, I don’t want to do this.

   “I think we should just be friends,” saying the words hurt, like a stab in the chest, but I knew it would hurt Yooki more.

   “Say that to my face, tell me you don’t love me,” I heard his sobs as he said that, I knew he was crying. I take a quick glance at my dad who is still standing in the doorway holding a bottle and his phone, ready to throw the bottle and call my mom. 

   I look up at Yooki his tears dripping off his cheeks, I want to wipe them away and say that I’m sorry, but I can’t, so I just kept looking at him and say, “I never loved you,” the words hurt worse than the other ones, a lie, a lie that hurt extremely, a lie that broke the little boy I loved with all my heart, a lie that hurt my lover, the lie that broke my boyfriend. 

   “Goodbye, Kinkay,” he says and closes his window and curtains. I felt my heart shatter inside my chest. After my dad walked out of my room laughing I broke down to my knees crying, everything hurt, everything felt broken.

   I don’t know how long I was crying but I suddenly felt a pain in my wrist as if a cut. I thought for a little and then remembered Yooki’s scars, I quickly stood up and jumped out my window and knocked on Yooki’s window sill but he didn’t answer. I knocked louder until he opened his window, his eyes stained with tears. “I’m sorry,” was the only words I could say but he just stood there with his hands ready to close the window again. I reached for his hand but he jolted away, and I noticed the bandages on his wrists. I lead him back to that, I lead him to break his promise but I wasn’t mad, it was my fault. 

   “I’ll just leave you alone,” I say and climb back into my room, and into my bed.

   I don’t remember falling asleep but I woke up to my head hurting from all the crying, I look over to my window and see a letter. I quickly stood up and opened it. 

Dear, checker boy or I guess now Kinkay

You were the only one I had, and you knew that but I guess you didn’t love me as much as I thought you did, but I can’t take this anymore, I try so hard and I don’t know why, but don’t worry, I'm with the stars now, so please keep your promise and never forget me.

-Starboy, or I guess now Yooki

   I felt a sharp pain in my chest and before I knew it I was running to our special place. By the time I get to the waterfall, there’s already a broken spot in the ice. I ran up to it and saw Yooki’s star necklace, the chain broken on the ice, in the snow is the ring I gave him.

   I break some more of the ice and pull Yooki out of the water, his skin is cold and pale, I check for a pulse but there is none. Laying him gently in the grass, I attempt CPR and mouth to mouth. I check for a pulse again and there's a small one making me sigh in relief. I take off my jacket and wrap Yooki in it for warmth. I take out my phone to type in ‘911’ and ask for an ambulance. 

   I held him tight and said sorry over and over again crying until I heard the sirens on the ambulance and I walked out of the woods carrying him. I answer a few questions they ask and watch the ambulance leave.