She shook his shoulders slightly

"Then help me understand. Talk to me"

He stepped back and out of her grip. He bumped into the bench and his fingers tightened on the edge.

"James was absolutely my fault, no matter what you say about the other things you can't convince me that it was any less than that. We ended up talking about it a couple days ago and I, I don't know. I was overwhelmed and lied to him but he didn't fight it because he thought it was what I wanted. I never wanted to break up but I didn't have control over anything so I thought it would fix it but it didn't. I went numb and it just resurfaced."

He sighed and shook his head

"I like James. As well as Lance. But I don't know what to do, it's weird and it feels wrong and different. No one ever told me about it so I didn't know it was a thing, and I don't know what to do."

".. Does Lance know?"

He nodded once

"Yeah, they both know"

She hummed and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I might have heard about something like that but I forgot what it's called, I'll check it out for you"

He rolled his head to the side and frowned

"You don't have to"

"I know"

He nodded and pushed away from the bench.

"I'm.. Uh. Going to my room, Lance can leave when he wants. I'm fine"

__

He traced the fabric with his thumb and his eyes fell closed. The door opened and he jumped, dropping the hoodie to the floor.

"Sorry, sorry"

He pulled it back with his foot and tried to hide it under the bed.

"Mum! Wha-"

"Just got home from work. Wanted to check up on you"

"What? No, you're still working for another hour. You normally come home at 6."

"That hasn't changed. It's ten past."

He froze and the bed sank when she sat down next to him.

"How long have you been up here?"

She rubbed his shoulder and he jolted and shot up. He held his elbows to ease down the shiver.

"I don't remember, is Lance still here?"

"Axca said he left a while ago"

"Right. Of course."

"Keith, I miss him too and his absence certainly hit you the hardest."

"He left us"

"You know, this was your dad's favourite hoodie. He'd wear it everyday, I think I even saw him cry once when it took too long in the wash. In his twenties."

He huffed

"Do you think he misses it?"

"I think he misses you"

She heard his intake of breath and he swayed slightly.

"Why?"

"You're amazing."

"I drove him away"

"You did not."

"I do with everyone. And its-"

He took a step back.

"He left, becasue of me"

"Oh, honey.."

She sighed and reached for his arm. He grabbed her wrist and pushed it away.

"Don't.. Touch me"

"What happened? Are you hurt?"

"I need to be held and comforted, all the time, so there's this huge conflict inside because I'm hating touch especially lingering or soft ones because- He. Lotor fucking.."

"I thought you and Lotor were friends"

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"No he turned on me ages ago. Last week he had.. 3 days ago.."

"Don't tell me. You don't need to force yourself for me to know."

He sagged and nodded. The door slammed open and they both jumped.

"Axca what the fuck??"

"Sorry, sorry. But I figured it out"

His arms dropped and his eyes widened a little.

"Oh"

"Mum do you mind?"

She hummed and stood up.

"You two be good now"

Axca pushed her out and closed to door.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed.

"That thing you said. Liking multiple people? There's a word for it so it can't be that weird. It's called polyamory."

"Never heard of that"

"Well we've all been taught that we can only love one person from a young age and anything other than that is cheating but that's not the case. Plenty of people like multiple people as well as you."

"Did you learn anything, something to help it be less confusing?"

"Mm I don't think so. A lot of websites said its a personal experience so there isn't a set of rules to follow, you have to work that out yourself and with your partners."

"Wait partners?"

"Yeah you weren't listening? As long as everyone is okay with it you can date multiple people, not just dating no one and kissing both of them."

"Oh."

"It's probably hard to explain, so you'd learn more from experience. But there a different sorts of relationships, Lance and James can both date you but don't have to date each other."

"I feel like that would be a problem with jealousy, no matter what happens.."

"I think you'll figure it out."

He quirked an eyebrow

"Sure sound confident"

She bumped her shoulder on his.

"I trust you. And this affects you, you want it to succeed."

"It's got more of a chance to fuck up than succeed"

She hummed and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

__

Everything clogged up in his throat. All he could do was suck in a breath.

".. Sorry"

He hung up and dropped his phone on the couch. He sunk deeper into his blanket. He whispered to himself

"You probably weren't even awake anyway. But, sorry"

He pressed his eyes closed and covered his head with the blanket.

He was about to head back to his room when he heard a faint knock on the door. His feet froze in place and he sighed. He dropped his blanket on the couch and opened the door.

"Hey"

"It's late. Or early, or whatever it is. Why are you up?"

"4am. Why are you awake"

"It's 4am James. What are you doing here"

"You sounded like you needed someone"

"You didn't need to come.."

"I told you I'd always be there for you"

"You don't have to.. Literally follow that. Not at 4"

"Especially at 4. I want to anyway"

"Did I wake you up..?"

"Yeah but I get good sleep on the regular so I don't mind."

Keith stumbled forwards and wrapped his arms around his neck. He planted a kiss onto his cheek and mumbled into his shoulder.

"..You're the best.."

James smiled and wrapped his arms around him. Keith sighed and stepped back.

"Is it nightmares again?"

"No.. But."

He pressed a hand to his eyes.

"Now go to a room and tell me what it is"

"Literally or rhetorical?"

"For real"

"Okay, okay"

He placed a hand on top of Keith's and he pulled his away. James offered his free hand behind him and Keith took it, squeezing slightly. He trailed behind him as he slowly made his way down the hall. He bumped into a wall a couple times before he finally found a doorway.

"This is... Your room?"

"I think it's the lounge"

He lowered his hand and huffed

"Yep, lounge"

"Well, there would be no way for me to confirm that. I can navigate physical areas if I know exactly where I am all of the time. If I don't, I get lost but its easier to find my bearings at home than anywhere else. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my phone, because I need it for communication but I don't know if I'm clicking accept or decline. And I have a very small idea of who I'm calling before they say something. I can't add any new numbers because it would mess everything up and then I would have zero clue who it is.. My only way of contacting Lance is through Axca, or going to places where he might be."

"Did you talk you him?"

He nodded

"Axca.. Said it was this thing.. Poly.. Poly something I don't know."

"Polyamory?"

"That's it, it's pretty confusing the way she said it but I think people can date multiple people. Which like, its a way around this situation rather than being single and not being tied to anyone."

"Were you thinking of that?"

He scowled

"I still need to talk to Lance, but I did tell him. I mean- I- I told him about you. And Lotor. And.."

James rubbed his thumb over his palm and Keith held his mouth shut.

"Were you planning to break up with Lance?"

"Well- Planning is a big word and I wouldn't say.. That I.. I don't know if it was planned or not. But it was definitely there as an option"

He sighed

"Keith.."

He frowned

"You wanted to break up with Lance so you could date me again?"

"It doesn't matter.."

He shook his head

"It does matter. That's a stupid reason to breakup with someone"

"It's my fault we broke up in the first place!"

He stepped back and lowered his voice back to a whisper.

"It's my fault. You said so yourself, this would've.. Made it better"

"No. We were both a part of it, and you're dating Lance now."

"I don't think.. I wouldn't have.."

He moved forward and cupped his face. His breath left his lungs in a whoosh and they both stilled. James pulled his hand away.

"Um. Sorry. I-"

He stumbled backwards and bumped into the couch.

"You need to talk to Lance. Figure something out with him, and Um.."

He bit down on his tongue

"Yeah, no. Just that."

Keith barely managed to move enough to nod.

"As soon as you can.. Please"

"Y- yeah. I'll try"

"Well. You're feeling better now.. So I'll just. Yeah"

".. Bye.."

__

"You sound sad"

"It's the stupid drums. They always sound like this"

She chuckled.

"No, they usually sound angry. You've got a lot to be mad about"

"Yeah. Well there's a lot on my mind."

"I can imagine"

His arms paused in the air, and the drumsticks slid down. He dropped them down into his lap and covered them with his hands.

"What am I supposed to say to Lance? How do I.. How do I tell Lance that he's, like, not enough or whatever."

"I think you'd start by not saying that"

"It sure as hell feels that way. Why would it feel like I need to date James if I'm already dating Lance?"

"You just like both of them"

"Being with James just seems so simple. It's so difficult. I can't-"

He sighed and dropped his head on his fist.

"I don't even know what he looks like."

"He's got bright blue eyes, like an icy colour but not cold. Short brown hair. Oh! And James has dyed his hair to a dark red"

"Red?! What. When did that happen??"

"About, 2 weeks after the crash"

"That's.. Ages. He didn't tell me"

"Well, it was probably still.. Raw for everyone and he might have just forgotten about it."

He nodded

__

The door shut and she moved towards it.

"I tried to call you. Lance is.."

He sat on the ground with his forehead resting on his knees.

"Hey-"

"I'm sorry.."

"No."

"I am. Everything's my fault"

"What happened? I thought you were in your room"

He shook his head and rested his chin on his knees.

"Shit.."

She grabbed his hand and slid down next to him. There was dried blood from his nose and his lip had split. A bruise was already forming on his cheek and jaw. And she saw claw marks where his shirt slid away from his collarbone. She barely pulled the shirt away and he shrugged her off.

"Red didn't mean to.. But she was.. Someone tried to pick her up to throw her."

"Is she okay?"

He nodded

"I think so, mostly"

He tipped his head to the side. She was pressed into the corner, barely touching Keith's hand.

"Are you okay?"

He laughed sourly and whispered

"Look at me and answer that yourself"

"Okay, okay. Obviously not."

"What am I supposed to do..?"

"Dont get into fights"

"That's hardly my choice. The fights are targeting me."

"Who was it this time?"

He leaned his head against the door.

"Guess."

She huffed and shook his hand around

"You need to go to the police"

He shook his head. She traced her fingers down his face.

"It keeps getting worse."

His eyes drifted closed and his head fell to one side.

"What did you say about Lance"

She frowned

"He's here"

"Why? Did you even check my room"

"No, we were bonding"

He scrunched up his face and shifted to face her.

"Why? It's weird"

"If he's gonna be over I might as well be friends with him. We were talking about Avatar."

"Oh, who is his favourite character so far"

"I like Aang and Sokka"

Keith hummed

"Hey"

"I made a hot chocolate, do you want it?"

"Sure"

He placed a mug in his hand and sat down next to them.

"This is probably not a good time."

"Yeah?"

He shook his head

"No. Sorry.."

Axca squeezed his hand and he shuddered a breath.

"You can't just ignore it forever"

"I know... Its just.. A bad time"

"It will always be a bad time."

He dropped his head on the door.

"I want to date James"

"What?"

He clenched his eyes shut and cringed at himself.

"There's this thing called polamory. A lot of it is based on experience but what I understood was someone can have multiple partners as long as everyone involved is okay with it"

"You would date both of us?"

He nodded.

"What would.. How would.."

"I don't know. We would need to all talk together. Work things out. But only if you're okay with it"

"That would be awkward as fuck"

"Shut up."

He shoved his elbow into her side.

"Um.. I don't know"

"I'm sorry but 'I don't know' isn't.. Its not going anywhere, the last time we talked about something similar it was just left at I don't know."

"I really don't know though. I'm not against the idea but.. Its just, it seems weird"

Keith nodded

"I get it. This is the first time I've felt like this too"

"Are you okay? I know Axca said to wait for you to start conversations, but I can't ignore the blood anymore."

His head shot around to glare at Axca and she pushed his shoulder.

"You need help."

He huffed and gave the cup to Acxa.

"That's a general rule but I don't know when you should follow it. It really depends but I can't give you any examples, it's just something that.. Most people know. When to apply it, you know"

"And what about this time?"

"There's this.. He keeps targeting me, I'm not completely sure why but I think I can guess. And since we used to be friends, he knows where I live, and a lot of my hangout spots, so he catches me when I'm walking or whatever. There's usually a couple of goons. They can.. I can't hold my own against them, so I'm like a personable punching bag."

She squeezed his hand and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Putting this is the kitchen"

"It can't wait?"

"Nope"

She pat his shoulder

"You'll be fine, it's just a couple minutes"

His arms dropped onto his knees and she walked away. He traced a nail around on his leg and he heard Lance shift. He touched the back of Keith's hand and he interlocked their fingers. Keith moved to sit next to him and leaned against his side.

"I lost it.. What I was saying"

Lance hummed and rested his head on his shoulder.

"It's how much!?"

Her voice lowered back down and he couldn't hear her anymore. He frowned and Lance chuckled.

"You know what she's doing?"

"No clue, but it better not be for what I think it is."

"What's that?"

He pursed his lips and faced forward

"Nothing important"

He hummed.

Axca threw a cloth at his face and he yelped.

"For the blood"

He scoffed and gave it to Lance. He glanced at her and she gave a small smile.

"You want me to do it?"

"I can't, and it's only weird if you make it weird."

He huffed. He brought the cloth up to his face and Keith jolted. He muttered

"Stay still"

And Keith sighed

"Sorry.."

He twitched and Lance cupped his chin in one hand. His breath hitched in his throat.

"Kiss me?"

His gaze flickered to his eyes and opened his mouth to speak. He rubbed his thumb across his jaw.

Someone knocked on the door and they both jumped.

"Hey"

"Hey"

Keith frowned

"What are you.."

"Axca called me. Said you wanted to talk"

"What? No- I-"

She chuckled and ran a hand behind her neck.

"Axca.."

"Was there anything?"

"I mean yeah but.."

"Well, yeah I'm just gonna go"

"No."

He stood up.

"You deal with this."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he paused.

"What. You organised this. You were the one that got me and Lance together. You keep getting me after Lotor's been around. You do everything else, whether I want you to or not. You can't do this?"

She sighed and he walked into the lounge.