"Who was at the door?"

"Just James. He and Axca are planning something. I don't know what"

He shifted

"Right"

He rested his head on his shoulder, drifting in and out of consciousness. The warmth surrounding him doing nothing to keep him awake.

"Hey Keith?"

He hummed.

"Got something for you"

He sat up and frowned.

"Why?"

"I wanted to"

"James."

He sighed and rolled his eyes poking the box into his chest.

"You know why. Just take it"

His scowl got deeper and he turned his head away.

"What is it?"

He gave it to Lance and he carefully opened the box.

"Glasses?"

He grinned

"Special glasses"

He scoffed.

"Glasses."

"Yup."

"You got glasses."

"I did"

"Why? You know how useless glasses are to me?"

"Put them on, if it works you'll find out why"

"Probably just to make me look dumb"

He smiled

"Come on. You have no idea how difficult this was to get"

He frowned

"I'll do it later"

"Keith.."

"No, I can't.. I can't do it right now. I have no clue what you mean by 'special glasses', and I have no idea what it will do. I can't find out right now. I just can't"

He sighed

"I know how much you hate it.."

"You better now add a but to that. Let me hate this in peace"

He chuckled. 

The doorbell rang and he shot up, taking anything to leave. James sighed, rubbing a hand across his neck. He barely heard it but he froze and shared a glance with Axca. Her eyes flicked to Lance then back to where the door would be. She pulled him up and pushed him in the opposite direction.

"Go. Listen to James"

And she rushed to the front door. The door clicked open and he smiled.

"Hey there champ"

He stilled, his eyes going wide and his mouth fell slack. He was pulled back by a hand on his shoulder and she squeezed slightly.

"Dad?"

"The one and only"

"What are- Why.."

"Hey, you mind if I come in? If I remember correctly the couches are comfy"

They backed up and he walked past, letting them trail behind. He barely found a whisper to grasp onto.

"Where's Lance?"

"With James"

He clenched his eyes shut and slowly opened them.

"I never thought this would happen, I didn't tell him anything"

She squeezed him again.

He tucked into a ball, hugging his chin to his knees.

"Does mum know? That you're back?"

"No, I want to talk to her after work."

"Why.. Are you back?"

"It's your birthday"

He clenched and shuddered a breath.

"Not today"

"Tomorrow is close enough. Besides I wanted to make sure I made it."

He trembled, pressing a hand to his head.

"You didn't come last year"

"I was busy"

"All year..?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, you know how it is"

"Why.."

He whined and pressed further into himself.

"Why did you leave?"

"I had to. There was a work thing further up in the country and it was easier if I was-"

"No!"

He slammed his fist on the couch and stood up.

"No. If it was something to do with work, well, it wouldn't be that long, and mum wouldn't have been so devestated. She would have known you were leaving."

He folded his arms over the back of the couch.

"I have been told the same lies every single time. By everyone. So I just stopped asking. I don't know why you all decided it was "for the best" but I am sick of it. I'm not a kid anymore. Hell I wasn't a kid when you left. Stop lying to me and just tell me what you did or what someone did to cause you to run away."

He sighed and raked a hand through his hair.

"Okay, just sit down"

He scowled and stayed where he was.

"As you might have figured out, me and your mother.. We were close to a divorce. We were both pretty, angry, and said some things that I don't think we fully meant. It was.. Uh, mainly about Shiro and Adam."

Keith clenched his eyes shut and pressed his fingers to his eyelids.

"Whether or not they should be married, whether or not we should treat them the same as before, whether or not we should invite them over as often, whether or not we should be arguing so close to your birthday. Hey, don't get me wrong he was like a brother to me but-"

"He was like a dad to me."

He heard him suck in a breath a hold it before letting it go.

"Adam too."

"I wanted to keep you out of it, but she wouldn't let me drop it after I said it the first time"

"Don't you dare."

"I love you. All of you"

He looked at Axca who turned away

"You know that.."

"You know that he adored you? Even after you left on his birthday. He always wanted you to come back, and he would check the door whenever someone came, to make sure it was you. But it wasn't. It never was."

"Listen-"

"I already didn't like you. After you insulted an entire group of people with a single word. I don't know why he kept trying to ignore that part of you. I hated you when you left. I couldn't get why he wanted you to come back, or wanted to leave with you when you did. He only needed slightly more than to be by your side at all times and when you left it threw him back so far that he thought he couldn't live in a world without you. If I had lost my best friend because you decided to leave without reason I would have never forgiven you."

He pressed his fingers onto her shoulder and her words dissolved on her tongue.

"What was your perspective on Shiro. Were you for or against?"

He folded his arms and pressed them into himself because he knew. He knew. He knew what he was going to say. He knew, he knew in his head but it still hurt when he heard "against". He tried to suppress a sudder and sucked in a deep breath.

"And what are you now?"

"Against"

His mouth twitched.

"I know.. I knew back then as well."

His hand raked through his hair.

"I don't know why I chose to ignore it. But it was probably so I could stay close to you and I could hang on to the belief that you loved me. I-"

He sucked in a breath and shut his eyes.

"It better not be a fucking mystery as to why I never told you I was- I am gay. And I know you would never hurt me if you knew, but, back then I was dating James, and if we were hanging out and you came home, I told him to hide. I didn't know what you would do if.. You would have probably hurt him if you knew, even if you just knew 'I was gay' rather than 'we were dating'."

The words felt like bile on his tongue

"He was so pissed everytime and I get it now. I get it but if I could have gone back and changed what I did.. I wouldn't."

He sighed

"Look, okay. I don't want to be mad at you but I can't just ignore it or pretend any more. I think it's past bullying at this point, but I get bullied for the sole reason that I'm gay. Getting that from you would break me so I don't want to hear you say anything about it."

His elbows rested on the couch and his head had dropped into his hands.

"..Why my birthday. You had to up and leave on my birthday? You couldn't pretend for a fucking day that things were even okay? That's the day you needed to escape everything? I hate my birthday because of you. I almost forgot I even had one this year, until.. The gift.. I used to love my birthday. I looked forward to it but even just last year, I was pretending the world didn't exist while I tried to weep my sorrows away because I was so alone."

"I forgot.."

"You forgot."

He gave a sour laugh

"There is no fucking way you forgot. I spent every year with you. You wrote it into the calendar months in advance. You made sure that you weren't busy at all. You would quit your job if they wouldn't give you the day off. You came all the way here this year just for my birthday. There was somewhere in your mind that knew it was atleast within the week. So don't just sit there and tell me you forgot, its not possible."

"I'm sorry.. I.."

"You know what happened that day? I woke up and had breakfast. You weren't around, 'oh it's probably a game' I looked everywhere. I searched the house. Twice. You weren't at the park or the school or the tree house or the car or anywhere I thought you could be so I went back home. And I waited. There was no note or email or any clue that you had left. You might have been at work, but I'm not allowed there. Shopping, but you do that about a week early. You might still be asleep, but your bed is empty. I find out that you left two days later. I found out from our neighbour. When I over heard them talking about it. I sat for at least a day, waiting for you to come. Clinging on to the fact that you've never missed a birthday, why would this be it."

He tilted his head and gave a sad smile, tears slipping down his face.

"You left us. You left me. I had begged anyone to take me to see you and Shiro finally caved this year in February. So we were on our way to see you and there was an accident involving a truck. Shiro almost lost his arm, and I lost my sight."

"I'm sorry. It's okay.."

He whined, and raked a hand through his hair.

"What made you think that anything I told you was fucking okay!?"

He punched the wall on his way out of the room. He slipped down the hall and locked himself into the drum room. __

"Go. Listen to James."

He had no time to argue before he was pushed away and he kept walking. He frowned, his back against the wall separating the rooms.

"What was that about?"

"It's his dad.."

"Is this normal"

"Not really, since he hasnt seen him for a couple years"

"Oh"

"..It's your birthday"

His eyes shot to him and he pulled a tight lipped smile. James was staring out the door with his arms folded. He twitched when Keith pressed his fingers to his eyes and his frown got deeper. At some point they had switched where they were. Lance sitting on the bed and James now leaning against the wall. His eyes snapped open and he turned his head to the side.

"What did he say?"

"I think.. He just came out"

He pressed his trembling hands together and leaned his chin on them.

"Come up, hurry"

He stood up and leaned against the wall.

".. If we were hanging out and you came home, I told him to hide.. You would have probably hurt him if you knew.."

He shook and pressed a hand to his mouth. James pressed his hand against his shoulder and pushed away from the wall. His laugh sent tar swirling in his gut and his knees felt weak.

"There's no fucking way you forgot."

He slid to the floor and pressed his arms into his stomach.

"You know what happened that day?.. I searched everywhere.. I find out that you left two days later.. I found out from our neighbour.."

He held back a sob in his sleeve.

"I begged anyone to take me to see you and Shiro finally caved this year in February.. Shiro almost lost his arm and I lost my sight."

His head fell back against the wall, tears dripping down his face. James flinched as he punched the wall, instinctively rubbing his knuckles with the memory of so many concrete walls. He knew he was going to the drums but still it shocked him when he heard the familiar song ring through the house. His eyes snapped over and stared, like he could bore through the walls and get him to stop. Finally the sound paused and he left go of a breath.

"What was wrong with that song?"

"What?"

"You reacted like there was something terrible to do with that song."

"It's what he plays when he's angry at Lotor. He automatically started playing it and.. I can sort of guess why"

"Sure do know a lot"

"We grew up together"

His lips drew into a tight line and he gave a sharp nod. He dropped his head on his palm.

"There's not much I can do about that"

His fingers twitched and he turned away.

"He prefers you"

"Well-"

"Being with you is familiar and easier, he doesn't have to explain things or talk about things because you know all the little signs and.."

He stilled, pressing his palm to his mouth

".. Did he say that to you?"

His eyebrows furrowed. He blew a breath through his nose.

"Most of it.."

"Okay, well, I don't think he meant it like that"

"Yeah you would know. All growing up together and solving problems before dating instead of while dating."

He sighed, linking his hands behind his neck and leaned his head back a little.

"It wasn't as perfect as he makes it seem. We had fights, some pretty big. The biggest problem is that he can listen to you for hours but as soon as its his turn to talk he doesn't say anything. He didn't talk much, explain things, even when he should. I needed to know the signs and the body language because that's the only way I knew what was going on with him."

He huffed and swung his leg out.

"He's been getting better, with you. He talks to you and about you, and he's getting everything out, good or bad, so that he can start to think about things rather than letting it coil inside of him."

"What does he say?"

He sucked in a breath and hummed.

"The day after you started dating, he wasn't sure if it was a set up, if you were doing it out of pity, if he liked you and what it meant to like someone. I knew he liked you but I couldn't just tell him that. He had to know for himself."

"I don't know why, he tells me all the time that he doesn't even know what I look like."

He nodded

"Yeah, since that's such a big part of who he is. How he pictures people. It's also what he said when asking if he liked you, I said that seeing someone is a bonus"

".. Does it bother you? When you see us together?"

"It bothers me when he's sad more than anything"

"What if he's sad when he's with me?"

"That's not your fault. It's not up to you to shoulder his pain. You can't love someone's pain away. And as much as you want it to happen, loving someone hard enough is not going to cure them"

He sighed and dropped his head on his knees.

"It bothers me when, even just mentioned, I know you're dating. I feel like he's not going to want to hang out with me anymore. That you're just going to steal him away, and that I'll be useless. Because you are so cool. So cool, man. I'm not good enough for him. He deserves someone better, and he's got you so.."

"Believe it or not, he's feeling a lot of the same or similar stuff. He wanted to date you but didn't feel like he should be dating right then because he'd thought that you'd be brought down with him. He was dealing with nightmares and Lotor recently coming back to ruin things and everything was still fresh wounds and he didn't want to 'infect' anyone."

He shuddered and stood up.

"Stop. Please just stop."

"Wait. You stay here, I'll go."

He frowned and started shaking his head.

"Okay, no. He's probably still here, he knows, at least, that I dated Keith in the past, I don't know what he'll do if he sees you and assume things that are probably correct and hurt you for it."

His outstretched hand clenched and he pulled it back to his side.

"It'll be better in here than out there."

"Do you want to go out there?"

"No, but I will."

He pressed a fist to his forehead

"How the hell are you so good?"

He smiled

"Comes with combating his inner thoughts"

He turned the handle and stepped out.

Axca was staring at her dad. He was trying not to look at anything but when he stepped into the hallway, the movement caught his eye and his gaze flicked over. He stood up straighter, returning a stare, almost enjoying the wave of emotions that crossed his face. Axca glanced backwards and she tried to hide her worry. He smiled and moved closer.

"Mum gets home soon. Until that happens, you are not allowed to do anything. You stay there until she arrives."

She turned to face him

"Just gonna check on him, he's been quiet for a while."

"Okay.."