"It's okay... Just, your mum's home."

He started playing again, slightly louder. She passed him and gave a smile.

"Do you want a warning before you go into the lounge?"

"Did you kids do anything? Surely it can't be that bad"

She started moving again.

"No we didn't do anything but.."

Her face fell when she reached the door and her bags slipped from her grasp. Axca spun at the sound and gave a weak smile.

He stood up

"Krolia"

Her face twitched and James winced a little when her gaze met his.

"Are you okay? Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay. Everyone was mostly just shaken. Keith has been in there-"

He gestured a thumb over his shoulder to the drum room

"For a while"

"How long as he been here."

"About an hour and a half?"

She took a deep breath before turning back to the lounge.

"Did you mind stepping outside for a minute?"

Her voice was cold and calm, but James could tell she was barely keeping it together. He nodded, stepping forward but she turned and walked away. She stopped at the door, turning back to watch James until he passed him. James stiffened slightly under the firey gaze that he knew wasn't for him. He passed through the door and she pulled it shut.

Axca came from the lounge and stood staring at the door. Her arms were folded and she leaned against the wall.

"You okay?"

"I will be once he's gone"

"Yeah me too"

She hummed

"He pisses me off"

"He terrifies me, and yeah, maybe pisses me off a little too."

They fell silent again, watching the door, catching little glimpses of the conversation over the drums.

"I thought I made it very clear that I never wanted to see you here again."

"Listen, if we could just talk-"

"I am not having you ruin another one of his birthdays"

"I came here for him."

"This is my house. And I'm going to need you to leave my property."

"It's our house!"

"No. It was mine after the divorce. You haven't even seen it for 2 years. This isn't your house."

Their voices grew louder and it took him a few seconds to realise that actually the drumming had stopped. The door clicked and his head turned towards it. He stood there with his eyes red and his mouth pressed in a grim line. He sagged a little and Keith looked towards the door.

"Hey"

His eyes flicked to him before falling back to the door

"Drumming over them does nothing, they are so loud."

He moved down the hallway and slid out the door. He clicked it shut behind him.

"Your tension is so thick I can fell it."

They fell silent and turned towards him. He frowned and his mum clicked her tongue.

"Oh honey, sorry-"

He shrugged away from her and she stepped back. He turned his head to the side.

"I don't think you should be here."

She grinned and turned to him.

"See?"

"Shut up."

He pointed towards her

"You're too petty"

He moved to point at his dad

"You.."

His hand balled into a loose fist and he dropped it to his side.

"I don't trust that you won't hurt my friends. And I'm trying really hard to like you but I don't think it's coming. I don't think it should, because you hate such a big part of me. What is so wrong with gay people that you couldn't even accept that your 'brother' wanted to marry another guy? It's certainly going to last longer than your marriage. They're happy. And you ran away because you couldn't handle that."

He smiled

"You can't hate me while also wearing my hoodie"

"Fucking, take it back then!"

He wrestled it off, and threw it to the ground. He stood on it and kicked it away into the mud. He slammed the door on his way back inside and made his way back to the drum room.

"Keith.."

He couldn't hear him, his ringing ears and his rapid heartbeat making a deafening combination in his ears. James grabbed his arm and he jolted. He shrugged off his hand. He slid into the room and leaned his weight against the door, locking it as soon as it closed. His mum rushed back inside and into the lounge, stepping over the long forgotten grocerys. His dad never came back inside. Axca moved into the lounge too and he slumped to the floor, his back against the wall opposite to the door.

He played for half an hour, then an hour, then 2. At some point he knew someone was cooking but barely registered it until a plate was brought down into his eyesight. His hands grabbed the sides and they drew their hands back.

"For Keith too, if either of you are up for eating."

His eyes snapped up and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Did you make this?"

He rubbed a hand behind his neck and looked away

"Its just something I do when I'm stressed, or hungry.."

He chuckled

"I just needed something to occupy me. Besides, doesn't seem like anyone else was up to making food."

He frowned and his eyes passed over the empty doorway then down to the plate.

"You shouldn't let things coil up inside you."

He laughed.

"You can't take my own advice and say it back to me"

He huffed

"Tell him I'm okay, and.. I hope he is too"

"Why don't you tell him yourself?"

He twitched, pressing his hands to his sides. He frowned and barely shook his head, and he was walking away, back to the kitchen. He sighed and placed it by his side and stood up. He knocked his knuckles on the door and Keith faltered, then paused.

"Hey.. Its past 8 now.. You've been playing for.. a while, just wanted to make sure you're alright.. Um, Lance made food, but I don't know how much appetite you have.."

The lock clicked and he grabbed the plate and slipped in.

"Hey.."

His lips were still tight and he sighed a little.

"Is Lance okay?"

"He's getting there, and hoped you are too"

He turned away and he rubbed a thumb across his shoulder. He put the plate on the shelf and wrapped him in a hug. He deflated a little and couldn't help the shiver that ran over his arms.

"Are you cold? You can take my jacket"

He huffed and nodded

"What about you?"

"Oh I'm fine, and if I get cold I'll just steal one of yours later"

He chuckled, punching his shoulder lightly.

He pulled it off and wrapped it around him. He sighed.

"What happened to yours?"

His mouth twitched.

"He was being a dick about it, so I kicked it into the mud."

He chuckled then huffed and fixed the collar of the jacket.

"What did you say to him?"

"Politely told him to fuck off"

"I don't think it was that politely"

He frowned and looked away

"What did you catch from it?"

"Little bits, not enough to say what happened."

"Said I didn't trust him to not hurt my friends, and mainly confronted him about the homophobia and told him he ran away because he couldn't handle Shiro and Adam being happy."

"I can't believe you told your dad to fuck off and called him a pussy all in one."

He spluttered a startled laugh and he brought a hand up to his cheek. His thumb slowly rubbed back and forth and he leaned into it.

"Is you hand okay? Saw you punch a wall"

He grimaced a little and stepped away, then slid to the floor against the wall. James quickly joined him again. He offered the hand to him and he slowly rubbed around the bruised knuckles.

"Real sore at first, but.."

"Nothing compared to what's in there?"

He poked his chest then poked his head.

"Yeah basically"

He pulled it up and pressed a kiss to the soft skin there. He flinched a little and turned his head away.

"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

He pressed his lips together

"Does it matter"

"Yes. I care about you"

He frowned and turned to face him.

"You care about me more than yourself. I'm not worth that kind of.."

He squeezed his hand and his eyes clenched shut.

"Sorry, sorry."

He sucked in a breath.

"Keith. You don't care enough about yourself. You care about other people more than you."

"Everything I try to do goes bad. Everyone I try to love ends up part of the hate cycle. I don't want that to happen to you. It would just be better if you left me alone.."

"I don't think it would be better for me, and it wouldn't be better for you. Do you really believe that?"

His eyebrows furrowed.

"Please. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't"

He started shaking his head and he grabbed his shoulders.

"Hey! You won't."

"You don't know that."

He hummed

"Okay, say you're right. You hurt me, but it won't last forever, it probably won't even last a month."

He clenched. James dropped his head on his shoulder, folding and opening his fingers on his bruised hand.

He sighed trying to form the words.

"Hey.."

He hummed

"I don't.. What was your present?"

"Glasses"

"Yeah yeah, special glasses. But what do they do, why get them. And why were they quite expensive."

He shook his head against his shoulder, a smile on his lips.

"You need to wear them. I'm not telling you what happens. That would ruin the surprise"

"Go get them?"

"You sure?"

He nodded, once. James pressed a quick kiss into his cheek and stood up.

"I'll be back soon"

The door clicked and he curled into himself. He rested his head against his knees and pressed his arms on top of his head. He gave a small sob and heaved in breaths.

He returned quickly and shut the door but sat down next to him without saying a word. He linked their fingers and pressed his shoulder against him.

"You know.."

He paused, unable to do anything except bite his tongue. He whined and pressed against him.

"I want to kiss you. All the time. But Lotor, Lance, Dad, everybody is telling me I shouldn't. And.."

He tugged his arm off his head and pressed his mouth to his knuckles.

"I don't have any objections"

He shifted and pressed his hand to his forehead.

"You're making this so difficult."

He smiled and rubbed his thumb over his ear and he stilled. He clenched his eyes shut and a breath escaped his lips.

"Do you want to?"

"Well, I-"

He groaned and rubbed a hand behind his neck.

"Ever since Lotor.. Haven't been able to kiss Lance most of the time. Its starting to feel like the touch thing.."

"It's okay"

His thumb rubbed his cheek. He frowned and his fingers twitched.

"The glasses?"

"Here"

He tapped a box against his hand and he grabbed it. He held it in his lap and dropped his head back against the wall.

"It does do something?"

"Yes"

He tipped his head to the side

"What is it?"

"You have to-"

"Please."

He ran his fingers through his hair

"They're supposed to help you see"

He sucked in a breath

"I don't know how they work, but I assume it has something to do with light"

His huffed and his trembling fingers pulled off the lid. He hesitated when it got near his face.

"What if it doesn't work.."

"We'll find something else"

"What if it does?"

He wrapped his arm over his shoulder and rocked him a little.

"Do you not want it to?"

"I don't know.. While I hate not being able to see.. It. It's normal now. I'd have to re-learn everything. Again."

"It's okay"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes

"Sure"

He held his breath and pushed them onto his face.

"It doesn't work.."

"I don't know if it would be instantly. I don't even know what it's supposed to do."

"I don't either. I've never even heard of-"

He froze and he shuddered a slight breath. James sat up and brushed his thumb across his cheek.

"You okay?"

"Ah-"

He tore his eyes away from the wall and stared at him, his mouth hung slightly open. He gave a small smile.

"Does it work?"

His lips pressed together. His linked his hands behind his neck and squeezed his eyes shut. He jolted backwards and took them off his face, blinking to recover.

"I.. I'm."

He rested his elbow on his leg and held his head in his hand as he shook with the effort of breathing.

"When you dyed your hair.. Did you cut it too?"

"When I.. Oh."

"You didn't tell me? What were you.. Why? How long ago."

"While you were in hospital after.."

He whined

"That's so long"

"I know.."

"I can't even.. The glasses are black and white. So while it's lighter than I thought it would be, I probably wouldn't have noticed. Axca told me, and even then it was after thought. What colour is it? Just to be sure.."

"It's red.."

"Why didn't.."

"I didn't want to.. I.. You were under a lot of stress and peril and you were delirious and in shock. My hair colour didn't really seem that important. And then you dumped me I was in shock. And I kinda just.. Forgot about it. No one really pointed it out because either they'd known you were in hospital or seen you there or they were strangers so it wasn't brought up because like.. Hey Keith you almost died several times, did you know that James dyed his hair? Amazing right. Its just.. Why would that ever come up in conversation. When it got to the point where that wasn't the main focus of conversation, it'd been a while so they were all used to it."

He slumped forward into his chest and he moved the glasses to the side. His arms wrapped his back and ran his fingers up and down his spine.

"Why red?"

"2 reasons. Its your favourite colour so I did it so that something resembling you would be near in case you.. Didn't come back."

"And the second..?"

His fingers slowed before stopping and his arms tightened. He hummed.

"What's the-"

"Red.."

He sighed

"Red is the colour of blood. Even when I was called, when they had cleaned up some of it.. There was so much. Your clothes were soaked through, and that big slice.."

He moved one of his hands to trace down the tattoo.

"The bangages were keeping you from bleeding out, even though they had to keep get changed every half an hour but even that's a bit generous."

"I'm sorry. Sorry I.. I'm.."

He hummed and his throat tightened. He whined and his arms pulled tighter.

"What?"

"You've never.. Agreed with my apology before. Or, you always chuckle and say no and cut me off and go it's not your fault."

"It isn't your fault. I just, don't know what to say. It was so.. Seeing you like that, it was like I was looking at a different person. You were like.. A shell, hollow, flat. And it just got worse after you woke up. For a while you didn't even know you were awake, thought you were trapped in a nightmare"

"I was, am. I thought I had died and it was like a punishment or something. I was confused, and angry. There were voices I didn't know, and then I started hearing more than people. The beep, spray, click, the ringing in my ears. Everything was so loud. Then I felt you. Your hand was really warm and I think you were asleep. I wasn't sure how I knew it was you, so I was thought that I'd made it up. After a while you started talking. I wasn't hearing anything you were saying, nothing would stick in my brain, but you were the only thing I could hear. It was peaceful."

"I wasn't warm. I was normal. You were cold."

A small chuckle escaped his lips

"I'm always cold, you're like my heater"

He laughed and hugged him closer. He shuffled to sit on his lap.

"Do you want to try the glasses again..?"

He tilted his head up.

"I can see through my eyelids when I wear it. Its just more blurry than eyes open."

He smirked

"I can see more than you"

"No way"

"If you don't believe me, you can try it. Don't know if it would work though."

He hummed and leaned forward to reach it.