In Leon’s high school, particularly in the school’s cafeteria, there’s an unwritten rule among the students that if you’re not eating alone, you are not allowed to take the seats that are located in the corner of the place. The reason thus why is because those seats are, in a way, ‘reserved’ for loners.

Of course, the same doesn’t go for those loners themselves. They could choose to take a normal seat and nobody would care. However, if you were to take the seats in the corner of the cafeteria, it became a silent statement to everyone else that you want to eat alone.

To be honest, Leon doesn’t want to eat alone. However, at the moment, he doesn’t really have any friends he would be able to casually eat lunch with. He’d rather eat alone than be forced into a conversation he’s unwilling to engage in. So, as soon as he walked into the cafeteria, his eyes immediately directed toward the seats on the corner, and he walked towards them, bringing his food along with him.

He placed his lunchbox on the table and hesitantly pulled the chair back so he could slip himself in. He sat down, opened his lunchbox, and took out his spoon and fork, and then he began to eat.

Leon was eating very slowly, putting a very small amount of food into his mouth. He was also very gentle with his cutlery—not even the sound of stainless spoon and fork clashing each other was heard. And after a few minutes of eating, his hand reached to the side of his lunchbox, only to notice that he has been reaching for something that wasn’t there.

“Ah shit,” he mumbled out, his fist clenching. Damn it, he cursed again, this time only in his head. He forgot to bring his drink with him. He left his water bottle in his class, and unfortunately, that class of his—XI Social 2—isn’t particularly close to the cafeteria.

His hand reached for his pocket, and by chance, he also left his wallet in class as well. His head immediately fell to the back, and he groaned. “Agh, fuck.” Luckily though, he had a small amount of cash he kept inside of his pocket. There was an Rp5.000 that was hidden in his pants, and that was enough to buy bottled water.

He went to one of the drink stalls and looked at the options he had. Bottled water cost Rp3.000, and sweet ice tea cost Rp5.000. For a moment he froze as he think about which drink he’d like to have. He could go for something sweet and cold, he thinks, but eventually, he settled on bottled water for less.

“Just one?” the seller asked, and he nodded in response. He gave her the Rp5.000, and the seller returned to him the change. He thanked her as he received the cash, and then he turned around so he’d be able to walk back to his seat.

Leon took a single step, but then he froze, for his eyes had just caught a glimpse of the couple he’s just recently offended, the couple he’s trying to avoid. He wanted to pretend that nothing happened, but just the sight of them was enough to cause a lump to form in his throat. Eli and Reynatra were simply walking into the cafeteria, but he could feel his face tightening in their presence.

He watched them walk towards their usual seat and casually took a seat. Leon hasn’t spoken to nor contacted either of them since he admitted what he’s done. They seemed to be doing alright without him. He was the only obstacle in their relationship, and now he’s gone.

 He lets out a chuckle and looked down, the world seemed to turn empty for a moment. Everything was silent and pitch black, as he was lost in his thought, reflecting on how lonely he is in this big cruel world. He only snapped back into reality when he heard a voice speak in front of him.

“Excuse me,” that person said, causing Leon to flinch. They slipped themselves between him and the shelf, wanting to reach the stall and communicate with the seller. It made Leon realize that he’s been standing in front of the stall, blocking the way for other students to buy their food.

Leon snapped back into reality and immediately returned to his table, not wanting to obstruct anyone else. As he walked, his eyes inadvertently glanced at Reynatra and Eli again. He couldn’t see Reynatra’s expression as she was facing the other way, but he saw how Eli has been laughing hysterically.

They were having so much fun—he saw them having fun. He took a short breath and he muttered out loud. “What a joke,” he said, his voice cracking. He silently laughed at his own misery, drowning so much in jealousy.

Before he sat down on his seat, he turned his head once to look at them again. Just... one last time, and he saw that both of them looked so, so, happy. They seemed to be doing so much better than ever.

And it made him wonder: does his existence truly mean that little to them? It’s barely even been a week since he’s out of their life, and both of them don’t seem like they’ve lost him at all. Ah, he concluded, he never meant anything to them after all. They never needed him in the first place.

And that’s why he said it, that three little words. “What a joke.”

Because that’s what it truly was.