She started first “Now I don’t want you to worry.” She said with obvious worry of her face, “but Emil being your mate is a lot of um...” she paused with her finger on her chin as if she was thinking about how to dance around a subject, “well let’s say paperwork.” I frowned at the thought of more paperwork, and she jumped to assure me, “no! Not for you dear!” She laughed, “for me... and I suppose Alpha Carter too.”  

“What’s wrong with him being my mate?” I put my arm around Emil’s waist in a protective way as if the woman before me was going to take him away. I knew that if it was a serious issue Emil and I wouldn’t be told much about it so I wanted as much information as I could get. 

“Nothing love!” She gave a nervous smile, “you have nothing to worry about. I will take care of everything.” In her true motherly way, any information Luna Abby was originally going to tell me was now being withheld for my safety and protection and like most amazing mothers she was going to deal with the issue for me so that I really would have nothing to worry about.  

I let out a heavy sigh putting my face in both hands, “so is that all you wanted to talk about?” 

Looking up she confirmed my earlier thought with her reply, “yes that is all.” She beamed a smile so bright it blinded you to the truth. “Thank you for the tea, dear.” She said hurriedly walking towards the door. “I’ll be off now!” And just like that she was gone. 

I sighed once more looking down at my confused Emil. I felt bad. I wanted the two mother figures in my life to get to know my mate, not run away from him. It was early though. Maybe when we are further in our relationship. 

Emil looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes of his, “am I causing a problem?”  

I let out a puff of air as a small laugh and pulled his head into my chest, “of course not.” I kissed his head and that thankfully relaxed him. Later he would fall asleep, and his head would fall to my lap. I smiled and stroked his hair. He was so beautiful. So, fragile.  

My eyes explored his face. His lips were rosy and chapped but that did nothing to hinder his beauty. His lashes were long and his skin flawless. His cheeks were rosy too but not as deep in color as his lips. When we had first met his face had no color and he was way thinner. His arms were no longer just skin, and bone and I was happy to see that his figure was starting to come out from eating more and healthier.  

I could hardly believe this beautiful creature was my mate. I will have many rivals no doubt. I smiled to myself. But I will defeat all of them to protect him. He is mine after all and I will not take him for granted. I will cherish every moment he chooses to spend with me. I will never make him wonder if I am loyal because as true mates do, I will never leave his side. He may have fears now, but I will be here to protect him from every one of them.  

I kissed his forehead and his eyes opened just a sliver. I expected him to act negatively but he didn’t. He seemed too sleepy to care. In a blissful state of mind. He smiled reaching for my hand. I gave it to him and cuddled it to his chest before falling back asleep. It meant everything to me that he felt safe enough to fall asleep near me. 

I imagined waking up with him in my arms every morning. His hair is all messy and soft. The little noises he might make when he stretches or yawns.  

I wasn’t going to ask Emil if he wanted to share a bed with me. One it was too soon and two I had a feeling that if he needed me at night, he would come to me, and the process would then happen gradually. It would all be him. All his choice, not mine.  

With my left hand held captive in Emil’s small hands I had to text my mom with one hand. She wanted to call me, but I suggested against it, not wanting her to wake Emil. She made me promise to call her later.  

Emil slept for a while. I eventually turned on the tv when I was semi confident it wouldn’t wake him. I thought about ordering a pizza and then I did. I hoped that Emy would be awake by then. Ew that was cheesy I’m never calling him that again. Not even in my thoughts. It’s a cute nickname though. 

He wasn’t awake by then, but he didn’t wake up when I moved him to get the pizza nor when I moved him back in my lap. 

Emil (trigger warning for nonconsentual sexual content. I don't get that graffic because it triggers me too so just read at your own distrection)

Where am I? I looked around at the sleeping omegas on the hay covered ground in the barn like the building I used to live in. I was back in my old pack. I tried to scream but nothing came out. How did I get here? How long had I been asleep? By looking outside, I could tell it was night. 

With a sharp breath of the cold air, I realized that this was not reality. No this was a nightmare I had sometimes in my old pack. This was a memory... 

I could do nothing to stop my body picking itself up as the memory progressed and I was forced to watch. I walked into the cold outside with nothing but a nightgown and some old shoes... my only shoes. I walked towards the house of the alpha that had requested me to his home tonight.  

I did not have to knock, he was waiting for me, and he hurried me to the back of the house and sat me on the bed towering over me. 

He grabbed me by the chin to look at my face “yes you will do nicely.” His voice was deep and gravely and gave me a terrified chill. “Do you know why I've brought you here?” 

“No alpha.” I shook my head.  

“I will give you permission to ask questions. You are pretty, the pretty ones make me kind. So, I will be kind to you.” He brushed his thumb against my cheek, and I forced myself not to flinch. 

“Thank you alpha,” I was shaking at this point. I did not know what he wanted to do to me. His hands were all over me and I feared he would take off my clothes. But he was gentle. But I was scared. I had heard stories from the other omegas that Most of them were not gentle. I was so scared that I would be like one of them. So scared.   

“You really are beautiful.” I lowered my gaze. His compliment did nothing to console me. I had no way of knowing exactly what he wished to do with me, but my mind was happy to provide some terrifying thoughts.  

“Thank you, alpha.”  

“What is your omega name?” His face got closer to mine. 

“Emil.” I had not expected him to ask for my name. 

“Oh? there's a pretty name for such a low-ranking wolf.”  

“Thank you alpha.” I didn’t know who had given me that name since my mother died giving birth to me and she would have been the only one to know who my father was. 

“I'm feeling especially kind today. Do you have any questions for me omega?” He kissed my cheek. 

“Why am I here?” My words came out scared and impatient, his kiss only filling me with more fear. 

“Oh, so bold.” he said playfully, “I will not punish you for your outburst, but I will answer your question but not till I ask you one.”   

“Yes, alpha.”  

“Now, tell me omega, when did you become of breeding age?” 

This was what I had been afraid of but I had no choice but to answer, “my heats started when I was 15.”  

“Oh.” He sounded exited as he grinned and grabbed my face in his hands tightly, “then tell me omega.” His smile only widened. “What does that mean for your fertility?” 

And there it was, the question I was especially scared of. So, I told him doing my best to keep the tears out of my eyes, “it means I am extremely fertile alpha.” 

“Perfect. I will now tell you why you are here little omega.”  He pulled his face back a bit to explain. “You are an omega, you see everything that goes on here, you know everything that goes on in this pack and know many secrets. Am I correct?” I nodded my head. He was right I had seen and heard of the many things that went on around the pack. Many of the higher up wolves did not care if we saw or heard things believing no one would believe us or that we were not smart enough to know what these things meant. He continued, “well, my chosen mate although she is beautiful and high ranking. Like many females of her ranking, she is infertile and like many in our situation we go to omegas for our offspring. My mate’s only request is that she does not see the mother of our child. I picked you out of all the other omegas. After all, you are very beautiful, and I do like the males. Just imagine what it feels like being outside of you.” I could see the lust in his eyes now as he looked at me and I couldn't keep the tears back anymore.  

He didn't seem to care if I was afraid or not. He was stuck in his daydream. I was stuck in this nightmare that he seemed to think was a dream come true for me. To be with an alpha. But this truly was a nightmare.  

Before he took me, he told me that our Alpha was mothered from an omega. That was a secret I didn't know. He would go on about how things were all lies but that's just how things had to be. He would say that’s what omegas were really kept around for. The omegas were for breeding and pleasure. They would never be recognized as truly part of the pack but as slaves.  As I cried as he began to take me, he would say to me that I was fulfilling my purpose. This was what I was supposed to do without question or protest. That night he didn’t get the chance to finish inside me. His mate arrived home and going along with her wishes, he told me to leave through the back door, but before I did, he told me not to ruin my pretty face or he would find a different omega to cherish. 

I would run back to the barn and the waking omegas arms as I cried and told them what happened. They had all heard it before and most of the older omegas had gone through it too. I had now become one with my fellow omegas.  

This never happened in the dream, but he would take me two more times, but he would never finish. I think he just wanted to keep me for longer rather than getting me pregnant after the first time and never seeing me again until the child is born. One night, he said he was going to finish and that I was going to give him a high-ranking child and I that, if I gave him an omega child, he would have me killed. And he would do well, let’s say unspeakable things to my body. I did not want to fail him, so I tried to tell myself that what he said was true and that what was happening was a good thing. At some points I felt happy to be cherished even if I was still so afraid. 

When I woke up, I was panting and crying but I turned my head and there was Andy. My mate. So, it was a dream, and this was reality once again. “What's wrong?” He looked startled, nervous, and concerned. 

 But I was more concerned with the distracting smell of food, “what's that smell?” I asked.  

“That doesn't matter right now. Are you okay? I'm more concerned about you.” The way his eyes were, I realized how concerned he was. Further proof that he really did care for me.  

“Nothing. It was just a nightmare,” I said trying to get more comfortable in his lap but that didn't seem to satisfy him.  

His face scrunched up in an adorable way and started stroking my hair like he didn't even realize he was doing it. It comforted me as he continued to speak. “I know it will probably take you awhile to trust me. But I hope soon you will come to believe me when I say that I will never abandon you. Ever. I will love you for the rest of my life and for the rest of eternity. And I want you to know that I look forward to gaining that trust over the time that we're going to spend together. I look forward to falling more in love with you as I get to know you. Hell, I'd even go against my Alpha if he said we couldn't be together. 

My eyes went wide, “No! I wouldn't ask you to do that! Please don't do that!” I had jumped up and now had my hands pressed firmly against his chest so I felt the rumble of his laughter as he continued and pulled me gently back into his arms, "but I would Emil. I would do anything to be with you." He paused, "within reason, of course."  

"But that's out of reason, Andy!" I jumped out of his arms again. 

"No." He said slowly, "it's not. It would be well worth it." He smiled softly and he didn't have to pull me back into his arms again because I had hugged him tightly hiding my face in his chest as I cried. I didn't want him to see me crying again. Then thinking over everything he had said I realized something. Looking up to him I said, "I don't think I got to really discover myself in my old pack. Do you think while you discover me in this pack, I could discover myself too?" 

He smiled wide nodding his head frantically like an excited child, "of course, Emil. You can do anything you want to in this pack." He paused, "within reason, of course." I laughed at that. He was silly. And for the first time since we accepted the bond, I let myself believe him and that feeling was amazing.