"Does he have any phobias?" Xiz asked.
"Hmm... fears...Oh yeah, spiders!"
"Perfect!" Xiz turned into smoke then made it all go up into Berny's nose.
Suddenly he tossed and turned in his sleep then rolled out of bed, slamming into the ground. On impact, he woke up while screaming "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!".
Xiz reappeared beside me and said "Mission accomplished" with a smirk.
"What did you make him see?"
"One of my finest works if I do say so myself. He was driving this flying bus that had wings in a beautiful, sunny sky. I made the sky suddenly fill up with thunder clouds and get super dark. He got confused at the sudden change so I made the steering wheel stiffen. He struggled a bit then the steering wheel broke off. Tonnes of tiny spiders came out of the rod, filling up the bus. He ran to the back where he bumped into giant spiders that wrapped him up in webbing and stuck him to a huge web. The little spiders climbed all over him, covering his face, filling up his mouth and every orifice. He screamed through all of this when the bus crashed into the ground which woke him up."
"Damnit Xiz, it was such a nice dream at first. What's going on?" asked Berny as he stood up and yawned.
"Berny, we gotta leave. Someone's been watching us."
"Woah, could it be the same guys covering you from the news?"
"That's what I'm thinking too. I'm gonna grab my stuff and split, maybe you should leave too. Sorry about that bro."
"Eh, no worries, been there before."
I tossed my stuff into my duffel bag and then met Berny at the front door. He already changed and held his own bags. "Here's your crypto key. It has most of your money. Here's some in cash and the rest is in your bank account" Berny said as he returned my stuff. I noticed he had the cash bags with him too.
"What's the plan with the cash?"
"Oh this? Yeah, I was planning on taking out some money before you came. Now I don't need to go to the bank anymore. I heard of some underground battle thing so I'm gonna sponsor a fighter with this. Still need to find one though."
"...Good luck on that. It was nice visiting again, see you later bro" I said. I gave a hug to my buddy and then shook hands.
"It was good to see you too. If you need anything, you've got my number. Visit me whenever. You too Xiz. Stay out of my dreams" joked Berny.
"Later dude and no promises" said Xiz after they shook hands.
I flagged down a taxi and went as far as I could. I paid him extra to speed and take random turns to lose any followers. I powered off my phone to hide our location. We drove all night to a distant city I hadn’t heard of then got off. It was Edopolis, a really bad city, so it might be a good place to lose them because no one in their right mind would come here.
The buildings seemed pretty old, some abandoned. Litter covered the street, lots of homeless people everywhere. There was a lone shopping cart that hung from a street light, like some strange lamp. How it got up there, well I think the used needles on the ground had something to do with that. I gave some cash to beggars and continued on my way. I couldn't book a hotel through my phone so I just went to a cheap old motel and paid in cash.
Xiz went off to checkout the city while I had to figure out what our next steps were. I put on my surgical mask, sun glasses, a hat to cover my face, added some shoe inserts to my sneakers to make myself taller, and bought some cheap threads from a thrift store to shake up my wardrobe. To complete the fit, I made sure to cough to look sick. I was totally unrecognizable!
I walked over to the local library to put up an ad online on Carlslists about granting any wish, with some disclaimers on the description. I made up a new email address and used a VPN so no one could know where I was. I got a few messages.
coolKid6789: I wish for a cheeseburger
mankeyPaw1212: Minimum price is $10 million
coolKid6789: What a ripoff, burgers cost way less
Some people wanted to trade for the wish, like their shoes, headsets, game consoles, firstborn, goat, and more. Most thought I was a liar so I’d ask Xiz to go over to them and shut off their power for a few minutes then say there’s your proof, which usually freaked them out. I think Xiz might’ve scared them some other ways too for fun. Some of them were sketchy people. Xiz said a guy messaged from within an abandoned building, another seemed to be a part of the mob, and one guy was in some secret underground facility. I steered clear from them. This was over the span of a few days, just couldn’t find the one. During these days though we kept moving from town to town staying in houses for sale, abandoned buildings, and even under bridges. I didn’t know when our pursuers would catch up. Xiz would go on patrols to look for any pursuers but it seemed that we lost'em.
I went out one night to get a change of pace. Xiz and I walked for a while. We went to a burger joint and had some philly cheese steak. Xiz ate the whole thing in one gulp, his unhinged jaw a sight to behold. Then we went out and walked around the city for a bit. Until a scream broke the silence of the night.
“What was that?” I asked, turning to Xiz.
“Sounded like a scream. It came from that alley,” replied Xiz, finger pointed to a place up ahead. Xiz went to check it out and reported “looks like there’s some guys with guns pointed at someone’s head.”
“Oh snap, we should probably do something.”
“Like what? You’re not bulletproof. The cops would take too long to get here.”
“Hmm...”
“We’re gonna run out of time, quick quick” pressured Xiz.
I looked around for someone else to help but there was no one around. I could make him pay afterwards... I took a deep breath to calm myself and then finally said “Fine, okay, I wish whoever was there get’s help”.
Xiz gave a wicked smile and replied “As you wish”. With a snap of his fingers, suddenly, I fell to the ground as pain shot through my whole body. My bones felt like they were being pulled apart, more muscle grew, my face morphed, a tail grew behind me, all my teeth fell out as new bigger and stronger ones filled my mouth, ears grew bigger, and thick hair sprouted out from all over my body.
“Mother lover, what did you done to me?” I uttered in horror as I looked at my hairy arms.
“No time for that, hurry up and go before someone gets hurt.”
I reached the alley way faster than someone who never does any physical activity could. Masked men in hoodies surrounded someone. “You’ve been late on your protection fees, Marty. You know what happens when you don’t pay up. The boss man sends his regards” said the ringleader, gun pointed at a young man in the middle.
“Melvin please, I just need some more time, I gave you everything I got,” begged Marty.
“We know but that's not gonna cut it. You need to be made an example of. Nothing personal” he replied with a smirk, flicking the safety off.
I looked around to see if there was anything to throw at them. Luckily there was garbage everywhere. I grabbed a rock with one hand, a trash can lid with another, and a glass bottle with my new tail. Three things for three goons, perfect. “Hey!” I yelled. Startled, the three assailants whipped their guns around and pointed at me. I threw each object as hard as I could at them, hitting their hands. Bullets barely missed me since I messed up their aim. They yelled out in pain and confusion, dropping their weapons.
One of them whipped out a second firearm, loaded it, and started blasting at me. I jumped behind a dumpster, hearing the rounds hit it. I remembered the spot where Marty was and then decided to slowly push the dumpster towards my enemies. Not realizing how strong I was, my hard push on the dumpster with my shoulder sent it roaring down the alley into Goon 1, pinning him against the wall. The other two assailants jumped out of the way before it crashed into them.
“What the hell is that thing??” yelled Goon 2.
“I don’t know, it looked like some kinda monkey” replied Melvin, while stumbling to grab the guns tossed on the ground. He threw one gun to Goon 2 and picked up the remaining two.
Before they could start blasting, I jumped up to grab a balcony, miscalculated how strong my legs were now, crashed into the bottom of the top balcony, and fell into the one right below.
"What the H-" Goon 2 said and then both started blasting at me in unison.
The building the balcony was attached to was abandoned so I crashed through the window. I have to get back, I thought as I ran through the darkness, crashing through a wall. It seemed like I was in a hallway. I sprinted down it, found the stairs, jumped to the top, and got out to the roof. “Where the hell’d he go??” I heard Melvin yell.
“Beats me, boss” replied Goon 2.
I jumped across the alley onto the roof of the building beside it, climbed down the balconies, and stuck to the shadows without making a sound. Then I jumped behind goon 2, knocked the gun out of his hand, hopped up while holding the back of his pants, and then hung it to the third floor balcony.
The boss grabbed Marty, pulling him in front of himself with the gun held to his head and yelling “Show yourself or I blow his ****ing brains out!”
I hopped down in front of Melvin. “Get outta here or he's dead!” Melvin hollered, shoving the gun more into the poor panicked man's face.
I put my hands behind myself and said “Counter offer, you let him go and I don’t punch you. Here’s an example of what could happen”. I demonstrated with a swift punch to the wall behind them, leaving a gaping whole in it with cracks all around. “Now see, that looks like a lot of damage. If you hurt him, you better hope you’re way faster than me. Your friend’s pants are gonna rip; he’ll fall any second and the other guy is stuck behind a heavy dumpster. No one’s gonna come to your rescue”.
He stood there, thinking for a moment, his grip on the cold steel loosening. I could see the panic in his eyes. He raised his hands in the air and finally said “Man, I don’t really care about any of this. He doesn’t even have anything. It’s not worth it”. He tossed the gun to the ground and kicked it towards me. I checked him for any more weapons on him, tossing some ammo and knives to the side. I gave the gun to Marty and said “make sure our friend here doesn’t do anything stupid while I check on the others.”
"Oo-okay" he answered, pointing the weapon to Melvin.
I hopped up, grabbed Goon 2, took out his weapons, keeping some of the nicer ones, and then princess-carried him as I dropped to the ground. I put him down then moved the dumpster away from Goon 2. Luckily, he was saved by a trash can that took the brunt of the force from me shoving the dumpster. Oh man, thank God he’s ok.
“Okay, this is what you guys are gonna do next. The three of you need to go to the cops, turn yourself in, and spill your guts on this gang stuff. They’ll help you out, maybe pay you, grant you protection, or whatever. If you don't, I will hunt you guys down. There’s nowhere on Earth you guys can hide from me. Marty, keep the gun and protect yourself if something like this happens again.” I followed them a bit then left when they entered the police station.
Marty thanked me profusely, offering me what little he had in his pockets and an important family heirloom but I refused. Didn't feel write to take from a guy who didn't have much. When we were on our own, I turned to Xiz, finally noticing him eating popcorn while watching this whole thing go down.
“Wow man, you were awesome. I knew you had it in you” he said as he munched on the popcorn, then gave me a lighthearted punch to the shoulder.
I grabbed some and said “where’d you get this from?”
“Theater dumpster,” he replied smugly.
"PFFT", I spat out the ones I put in my mouth. “Why’d you have to turn me into an NFT?”
“I got a theme going on that I need to uphold,” he answered while tossing some more popcorn into his mouth. Some bounced off his face and fell to the ground.
“Is your real form really a monkey demon then or not?”
“Nope, you’d go crazy if you saw my real form. It’s incomprehensible to you puny humans.”
“Well, it’s done now. Marty is good and on his way home, can you turn me back now?”
“I don’t know, is that your wish?”
“Fine, whatever, be that way. I don’t trust your wishes, I’ll find my own way back,” I angrily answered, crossing my arms and heading back towards the bridge we were staying under. "Could you at least spook them a bit if they don’t confess everything to the cops?”
“Of course! I love spooking”, he shouted excitedly, flying up and disappearing into the night sky.
I went back to our spot to catch some zzzs, at this point used to the uncomfortable sleeping bag. Xiz reported what he did in the morning. He followed the assailants to the police station, saw them report themselves to the police, and were then in the interrogation room. They didn't answer all of the cop’s questions so when they left the room for a bit of a break, leaving the criminals all alone, Xiz took action. The low buzz of fluorescent lights suddenly stopped; no sound, just the soft noise of their own breathing. Suddenly, a small sound broke the silence coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They couldn't tell what it was at first, but as it grew louder, it became clear. The sound of monkeys hooting, hollering, and banging against the walls.
Louder and louder until they couldn't even hear themselves think. They tried covering their ears to no avail. The lights started to flicker and grow dim. They tried looking around for the source of the chaos but didn’t see anything. Then, they finally looked into the one way mirror, seeing the horrible monkey creature that attacked them earlier standing in the dim light behind them, covered in blood, sharp teeth, and a wicked smile on it's face!
Melvin felt it rest its hand on his shoulder, flinching. They whipped their heads around in horror, only to see nothing there, with the loud sounds suddenly becoming so quiet you could hear a pin hit the floor. They heard a ragged voice whisper, “You boys gotta spill your guts... or I will!”
Finally, the cops returned to the room and Xiz saw that they were being super cooperative, giving details that the cops didn’t even think about asking them, eyes scanning the room in horror. He said that they’re gonna become their new informants.
“You gotta stop watching so many horror movies. Sounds like you had some fun,” I stated matter of factly.
“You know it. The look of horror on their faces was just, mwa” he spoke while making a chef’s kiss with his hand.
I continued looking for our next happy customer, messaging many people until finally... bingo! With a smile on my face I closed the open windows, logged out of the library computer, turned to Xiz, and excitedly told him “I found our next guy. We’re leaving the country!”
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