– He maybe understands what we want.

Tanuki was now on my chest while I walk by the hall and cross with many students of every kind of races and genders. It was snack time and I wanted to find a good place where I could talk to Tanuki and explain how the stuffs work on my world. I presume that Amerix goes at his sacred place under the tree. Today I want to let him in peace while I try to find peace.

– I can’t fill him of questions. It would look like exploration and boring for him.

– Of course not – he nodded. – We just need information.

– Some people think it boring and, also, I met him on Monday. I can’t approach of him so close at point to ask all my doubts if I can resolve this with my hands too – I turned left.

– Literally these people from your village are very weird – he sighed crossing the arms.

– We don’t live in village, Tanuki. Don’t forget you are far away from your past era.

I wanted to know when he will learn that we don’t live in feudal era. I don’t know if I was feeling stress or tiredness. All looks like to be hurry and tight and carrying a protector on my chest is uncomfortable and inconvenient.

I arrived at one hall that takes me until the garden where I wait to have privacy and transform this situation in a little piece of peace. I was walking until a bench to receive the Sun hitting my head, burning my brain and wait the alarm rings again to return at classroom and continue the other part of anxiety. Sitting and looking around, I think if I let Tanuki free from my chest and have a quick talk.

On true, I have no idea what to do. I was so upset and tired that I wanted to unburden to someone, but I should hide my emotions at university and don’t show the weak figure I am hiding. My ears were down and the eyes looking for something to distract. When I turned to left and looked at one white fox I noticed that she also turned his head to me and for my big surprise it’s Mika going out from the university. She was walking until me and I don’t know if I show relief or shyness. I know that this point my day can shine a little best.

She signed and I repeat the act.

– How have you been, Vanz? – she commented coming closer until I lift and gave her a hug, normal to do. – I haven’t seen you yesterday.

– I am fine how I can, Mika. The studies are being boring and difficult, even for a first week.

– Your eyes look tired. Maybe it explains.

She commented looking at me, noticing fast the expression. Mika is good in identify the mood from the eyes. I blush a little and my ears lowered, impossible to hide.

– Some stuffs are happening in my life that is difficult to explain, Mika. – I sighed.

– Like missing your father?

This I had to nod and agree. She pulled me to sit and have a conversation in particular. Also, there are only us outside of university and I am talking to someone I love since kid. Part of problems I can unburden with her, but I am afraid that she will think I am crazy having these nightmares.

Best I don’t say it. All this would be bad if other one listens this story too.

Despite the weight I am feeling, her words are giving me a little of strength to keep with my life in up and fighting to follow what I dreamed so much. I told her the few problems I am having absent of my family.

– I comprehend you, Vanz, and I don’t know how your family reacted when you passed the entrance exam and decided to move here – she keeps looking at my eyes, worried.

– My father felt like a piece of him was being thrown when I said I would do university on other city. My mother maybe you remember – I gave a sigh and continued – she left me since I was a kid. Even my father being present with me during all my grown, I arrived at moment that I had to decide which path to choose, even being difficult.

– Every path is difficult, Vanz. You don’t have to blame yourself by what you did or happened. You always said to follow your dream and this is what you are doing. You always were dedicated and intelligent. The times I met you I know what you are able.

I got in silence for some seconds thinking about her words and the choices I did.

– You are being so open with me, Mika – I looked away forward.

– You are my friend, Vanz. You always were my outstretched hand and always will be.

For this I didn’t know how to react if I smile or cry. Being an outstretched hand is very good; who dare if we date! I literally blushed a lot with a shy smile and felt shrunk with her comment. All got in shock when she landed her hand on the mine, what I felt each fur ruffle. I admire Mika that she doesn’t fear in doing this kind of attitude and she knows we are friends since the childhood at the school.

– You just shouldn’t put these fears about your goals, Vanz. You always said it to me.

If she knows exactly what I am passing, but telling this phrase coming from me is a shot in my head. I replied holding and pressing our hands with a smile still shy. What could I answer with this kindness she shows with pure simplicity and affection?

On true, I already never thought I would have one time with Mika alone at break time like in childhood. I was feeling comfortable being on her side and she is helping me to lift my mood. It’s like I was coming back at time when we were friends so glued and showing her my likes and knowledge about plants and so on.

– Thank you, Mika. Your words mean a lot for me.

These were my words directed at her. The answer was the beautiful smile, a hug and the confident she is sharing with me. If she knows all I feel for her mainly when I met her again she would call me pretty or tender, I don’t know. I get anxious with many things when I am with her and she holding my hand isn’t helping me to keep calm. At least, she brought the peace I was needing today.

She took out her hand from the mine blushing a little. It’s like she didn’t notice she did it. I should admit that her hand was hearty.

The silence was the only sound we are hearing from us. Maybe the intimacy was good between us. Both we looked away like if we are searching a reason to distract the eyes.

– Ah! I forgot to ask – Mika broke the silence looking at me again. – You maybe know that there is a view of a sea close at academy of martial arts.

My eyes opened of surprise. I don’t know where she would go talking about a view of a sea, what should be wonderful. This is the pure Brazilian culture in talking about lagoons and seas.

– Serious? I didn’t know about it.

– Neither do I – she replied. – My colleagues told me and either about the festivals that happens there on August and they say that the view of the sea is wonderful at night.

– I didn’t know it. We are in February yet and until it comes, I can visit the place first, mainly the view you said.

– The place looks to be opened every day. This is what they say – she shrugged. – Maybe you like the place.

– I am curious to know it now. Will you go there too?

– I don’t know. Depend of my colleagues, but the fact of having a good view I have a desire to meet too. Maybe it’s worth it.

I know why. A view of a sea is always beautiful, mainly accompanied. I could invite myself to go with her, but maybe this would be enough for her.

One group of girls are calling by Mika far away. She gave the signal and looks like I will be alone again.

– My colleagues arrived – she turned to me. – We are going to talk about works in group and have a little snack. I hope you be alright, Vanz.

– I will be. I thank you for talking to me – I smiled shyly.

– I hope to see you soon.

We ended the conversation with a hearty hug and she lifted, leaving me with a smile and caress that difficultly I will forget. Her last phrase let my body in emotion and desire to see her as early as possible. She was returning to her friends and disappearing from my eyes, letting with me a precious smile she gave to me.

She arrives at girls that trade laughs and walk together by the garden. I look them going away and seeing my light shining. I know at least that Mika has good friends and is a dedicated woman. She is wonderful, intelligent…

– She knows where is the torii.

Suddenly Tanuki appeared on my back with a big enthusiasm that gave me a scare, making me jump and fall back. For his lucky I hit with my head on the grass. This fat magic was looking at me with a smile of hope that I see he didn’t care with my fall.

I was lifting from the grass almost murmuring. The peace and the caress I received were all faded by my servant.

– Crap, Tanuki! Don’t appear from nothing on the next time.

– I will try, but this isn’t the case – he pulled my arms to lift. I pray that nobody is seeing me with him. – Your friend should know where I want to go.

I repeated with two options: or he wants to get away from me (what is perfect, but impossible) or there is a place he should meet for some reason. I and him should talk later about this place he was trying to know with another Japanese name. For now, I wanted to rest a little and remember the comfort I had with Mika right now.