Lev moved away from me as I felt him wake up. I moved against him again, not wanting to lose the heat he was giving me. I felt him sigh, and try to move my arm off his upper chest.
“Alessio, you’re going to be late for work.”
“Shh. Don’t care.”
“At least let me get up and use the bathroom, then.”
“Fine.”
He got out of the bed and I rolled into his warm spot. I understood that this might give the wrong idea. But his heat and comfort were what I wanted from him. His scent was all over this side of the bed and it was weird for me. I didn’t know if I liked it.
Lev came out of the bathroom. He stopped when he saw me in ‘his’ spot. I rolled back so he could get in the bed.
He moved into the bed slowly. Before he whispered.
“The glue is holding great. It doesn’t feel as tight as before.”
“Good. Glad to hear that.” I mumbled.
“You should get up if you intend to go to work today.”
“Nope. I only intend to go if I’m needed for an emergency. Until then. I’m going to be right here. Stealing your body heat because why the fuck not?”
“Only for a little while longer. Then you’re going to see Doctor Martin.”
“Oh, right, you mentioned that.” I said, not really wanting to deal with that.
Rolling back completely to my side of the bed away from Lev, I tucked my pillow under my arm. Resting my head on the pillow. I just wanted to go back to sleep. Closing my eyes, I couldn’t get comfortable.
“Will you just hold still? Why are you so wiggly this morning, Alessio?”
“I can’t get comfortable now.” I hissed, annoyed. He just had to pee when I was sleeping so well.
“Stop wiggling around and you could get comfortable.”
“Not how this works!”
Lev must have really had it with my wiggling because his arm wrapped around me and he yanked me across the bed and he held me still. I heard him sigh. His body wash and cologne were heavy in my nose and, for a hot second, I had to tell myself that it was inappropriate to sniff the man.
“Let me go. I’ll just go see Dr. Martin. It’s probably why I can’t get comfortable. I’m too worried about this therapy shit.”
“No, you wanted to sleep, so this is where you’re going to stay until I decide to let you go. Besides, some human contact does you Mihail’s good. Even if you all hate it.”
“When did you become a Mihail expert?”
“I’ve asked both spouses. If anyone knows, it’s them.”
I sighed. I was not about to even touch that with a ten-foot pole. Under his weight, I relaxed and accepted my new fate. I was here until he let me go. He was so damn warm. I drifted to thinking about Caleb again. The memory was bittersweet.
In my memories, Caleb laughed, taking my hand and we danced to a stupid song that played on the tv’s music station, while we worked. We were looking over the updated supply lists and the song had come on. He had asked me to dance, and I agreed. It was one of a few moments where his brightness shined. Holding off the darkness, he was fighting. His addiction.
I hadn’t even realized I was tearing up again, and they were falling until Lev spoke.
“I can feel your tears on my skin. Want to talk about it?”
“Just a memory. A pleasant one. I’m not even sure why now of all times it surfaced, but I’m glad it did.”
I took a deep breath, Lev’s scent filling my nose.
“Caleb was a terrible dancer, but it was nice, regardless. We danced to a terrible song on tv one night while we were working long hours.”
“That sounds lovely.”
“It was enough to balance out some of the bad.”
“Was it always bad?”
“God no, Caleb definitely had a reputation around here. But he wasn’t like that all the time. He made a lot of mistakes, but when he was clean and sober, he was a bright star of a human being.”
“I understand. It’s nice to have someone to be the lantern in the darkness. You were probably like that for him.”
“It didn’t start like that. Trust me. Looking like all the rest of the Mihail’s has its disadvantages, more so when you date your father’s ex.”
“I see.”
“And the odd thing was, for both of us, it wasn’t about sex. It was about companionship and understanding. Yes, we had sex a few times. But the dinners and the movies, the long nights and hot showers, the little things we did, that’s what made it.”
Wiping my tears again. I sighed.
“It’s the one a.m hug after a long day working, the rare home cooked meal. Those are things I’m going to miss the most.”
Lev shifted up around a little. He made it so that he was nearly cradling me now.
“Here, now cry about it. Have a good cry, process everything you’re going to lose, and remember all the good times. Hell, I don’t care if it takes all day.”
“I appreciate that, but I don’t think—-”
“Don’t think. Just let your emotions flow. Be aware of all your feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may very well be.”
Taking a deep breath. I let my emotions free. At first, I laughed, but it turned quickly into sobbing, and I was sobbing into Lev’s chest. He said nothing, he just rubbed my back. No words were needed between us right now. Even if I had to speak, I wouldn’t be able to find the words needed.
Memories played through my mind, the bad and the good. All of it was rough for me. There was no easy way for me to mourn Caleb. He was more than just a friend or a lover. He was the first person I felt truly understood me. This has helped, though.
Wrapping my arms around Lev, I gave him a squeeze, avoiding his wound.
“Thank you. I needed that chance to get some of that off my shoulders.”
“You’re welcome. Did you want to get up now or maybe hang out a while longer in bed?”
“You can do whatever you want. Except leave. I’m going to get up, take a painkiller for this headache I have now and maybe pass out again for an hour.” I muttered into his side, not sure when I got this close to him.
“You need to eat food before the pain medication, or it will upset your stomach. You know this.”
“Oh, well.”
“No. Not oh, well.”
“I give directions, I don’t follow them. That’s why I can’t cook.”
“You can’t cook?”
“No.” I chucked, feeling awkward.
“When I’m able to move and stand longer, I’ll teach you a little.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I expect nothing less.”
Lev took a deep breath.
“Where are the pain pills? I’ll get you one, but you go get a couple of crackers to eat beforehand.”
“I’ll just get up and we can eat breakfast now. There’s bound to be something from someone in the fridge.”
“Check the freezer too?”
“Oh yeah! There’s a freezer side on the damn fridge.” I sighed, feeling stupid for not even checking there.
I tried to get up. But Lev had yet to grant me access to that.
“If we are getting up, you need to let me go.”
“I’ll get there. I just don’t quite feel like it yet.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Understand what?”
“You are way too caring to be a playboy. But everyone thinks you are.”
Lev let out a deep chuckle that vibrated his chest.
“That’s because I always have a different person on my arm for events, dinners, and the rest of the functions. I dont bring the same person to any of them. It’s not safe that way. It’s better to have a friend who will be arm candy for the night, all expenses paid.”
“Oh. That was not the answer I was expecting.”
“No one expects that answer. But to be honest, I don’t sleep with them all, like many think I do. It’s not because I don’t enjoy sex or anything, I just don’t find pleasure in it—-”
I heard everything he said right until then. Then I couldn’t seem to understand his words were so thick with his accent. I understood how people felt trying to speak to me when I spoke too fast and my accent took over.
“Lev, I didn’t understand the last part after ‘pleasure in it’. Your accent was thick and I couldn’t figure it out.”
“Don’t worry, the ending of the sentence wasn’t in English, anyway. I couldn’t find the words in English.”
“Oh! That makes plenty of sense now. I wasn’t having a stroke or anything similar.”
Of all the things, Lev found that funny and laughed again.
“All right, let me up. We need food and I need to get rid of this headache.”
“Alright. I guess.”
I rolled out of the bed, and the blankets and the cold air hit my skin. I forgot I was only in boxers when I crawled into bed last night.
“Ugh cold.”
“Put clothing on.” Lev snickered.
“I’m too lazy. I’m just grabbing food and then getting back into that bed.”
Opening the bedroom door, the living room and kitchen were a little crowded. Alexi, Creed and My father were here. Yet I heard none of them. Alexi was the first one to see me in just boxers.
“See. I fucking told you to call instead of just texting. He didn’t even read it.”
“Read what?” I hissed.
“Your text messages,” My father hissed. Pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Nope. Didn’t look. How long have you been here?”
“We just got here. Reached the kitchen as you walked out.”
“I see. Let me get my phone and read my messages.”
“Get dressed. Your grandmother just found out you’re back here, and she’s angry that she’s been left out of the loop. She’s demanded you come now. You best get dressed, both of you. You’re not safe either, Lev.”
“Why isn’t Lev safe?”
“I tried to use him as an excuse why she wasn’t kept in the loop.” Alexi said suddenly, cutting my dad off from whatever he was about to say.
I sighed, heading back to the bedroom. Lev right behind me. This was more plans than I wanted for the day. I just wanted to hang out in my damn bed.
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