Dear diary,

Today I pooped a poop with lumps, bumps and grooves. The more I looked at it, the more it started resembling my hometown. There were the little streets leading to the park where the dogs ran and played all day. There was the church in all its humble glory ringing its little bells to call forth the faithful for communion. The office buildings with their bright lights and dry concrete walls (might have been the sun dried crackers I snacked on) were busy as usual; little poo people in business attire came in and out hurriedly bearing the most serious of faces. I found the commercial district more animated than I had ever seen it. That last wave of immigrants must have really helped bring new life to it. Look at all the little poo produce and handicrafts! The itty-bitty town was prettier than when I had lived there. What was that? The dogs were in the park and the children at school! It was as if the little poo town had come to life. I would have given everything to jump in it and relive the best years of my life! Good day, neighbor! How’s the family? I’d love to go to your birthday party!

Thankfully, I remembered to flush before my face touched the little town. The wee inhabitants span right into oblivion. I really hope those were figments of my imagination and not live maggots twitching about. As much as I would like to discuss my poo with the doctor, maggots in it would certainly be a serious health hazard.