Sam was Keith’s only friend. They’d met in Keith’s second year of High School and they’d been friends ever since, and he was a good friend, though, extremely dad like. He was protective of Keith which he wasn’t always fond of, but he was always there for him when he needed which he did greatly appreciate.

He spoke to Sam about a lot of things, but not everything. He had never told him about Lance, which was one thing he had kept to himself and planned to for the rest of his life. But, he had told him briefly about his parents, that his mum wasnt in the picture and how he and his dad weren’t that close, but that was all. The only person he had spoken to about his parents properly, was Lance.

 Just the thought of Lance made Keith feel all warm inside. He smiled ever so slightly, a hot red blush prominent on his face as he thought about the tall Cuban boy. Another buzz shook him out of thought and he groaned, mentally hitting himself for letting his mind wander so casually over to Lance and his stupid pretty face.

He completely forgot that Sam was in his class and would no doubt ask him where he was if he didn’t show up. The older boy had taken a close watch over him since his attendance had dropped and was always trying to encourage him to come to school and participate more.

Sam (02:58PM): Keith? Is everything okay?

Keith sighed and dialed Sam’s number, he couldn’t be bothered texting but he didn’t want him to worry. He laid back down, getting comfortable as he brought the phone to his ear and listened to it rang before Sam’s voice echoed through the speakers.

“Hey, is everything okay? Why weren’t you in class this afternoon?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I wasn’t feeling great so I thought it would be best for me to come home and rest, you know?” It wasn’t a complete lie, he did need some rest and he was sorry for making him worry. He didn’t like people worrying about him.

“Really? So it had nothing to do with the incident with Jason today?” Sam asked.

Keith’s eyes widened as he sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. “How did you hear about that?” he whispered softly.

“Well, I heard a few people talking about it during lunch, then I ran into Lance after class. He kinda confirmed it for me.” Of course. Fucking Lance. Keith ran a hand down his face and groaned quietly to himself. 

“Okay, yeah, Jason was a dick, I got angry and left. It’s not a big deal, he does shit like this all the time, and I just didn’t want to go to class afterward. You know how I get Sam, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate so there was really no point me going.” Another lie. He left because he couldn’t handle Lance, but Jason was being an ass as well. He heard Sam sigh, no doubt in disappointment which made guilt flood Keith’s stomach. He had made a promise to Sam that he would attend class more often, though he wasn’t doing a good job at sticking to it so far. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be there Monday.”

“Its fine, I understand. Mrs. Michel wasn’t here today anyway, so you didn’t miss much.” Keith nodded even though Sam couldn’t see and smiled ever so slightly, glad the older boy wasn’t angry at him. “Lance was asking about you by the way. Wanted to know where you were and if you were alright. He seemed worried.”

Keith stayed silent. He began twirling his hair around his finger, pulling harshly on the strands as he brought his knees to his chest. Why did everything have to come back to him? He didn’t want to think about the boy, let alone talk about him. He had to get over this weird obsession he had for the blue-eyed boy and talking about him certainly wasn’t going to help. He wasn’t gay. Well, he couldn’t be gay. He just liked Lance because they had grown so close together over the years. 

A small scoff escaped Keith as he shook his head. Well, that’s what he had first thought. When these unwanted feelings appeared, he was able to lie to himself, convince himself that he didn’t like Lance, that it was just his head – and heart – trying to confuse him. But he couldn’t even lie to himself anymore, he didn’t just like Lance, he was in love with him, and he knew exactly why.

He loved how determined the boy is, about everything, he loved how much he cared for Keith and how much he use to fuss and worry over him when they were friends. He loved his eyes, his hair, and his hands that always seemed so warm whenever they touched. He loved how Lance could always make him laugh with his stupid jokes and how much he’d smile after he heard one. 

He loved that whenever he got angry, he’d swear in Spanish because it was easier for him. He even loved how Lance’s pink tongue would stick out of the corner of his mouth whenever he was attempting to concentrate. He loved how excited he got whenever Keith was able to come over, he loved how much Lance cared for his family, his sisters and brothers. It was everything. It was hard picking something that Keith hated about him. 

Keith chuckled and shook his head softly. Actually, there was one thing he could think of. He hated that Lance didn’t feel the same. He felt his stomach drop and his heart began to ache in his chest at the reminder of why they would never work out. He sniffed sadly and moved to nuzzle his head against his pillow.

“Keith? Keith! Hello, you still with me?” 

Keith fumbled with the phone as he jumped in surprise. He forgot about Sam... “Yeah! Yeah, sorry, just zoned out.” He chuckled nervously.

“Right.” The older boy murmured. “Anyway, are you?”

“…Am I what?” Keith asked blankly as Sam shook his head on the other end of the phone.

“Are you going to tell me what the deal is between you two?” Sam spoke seriously, “You were best friends, right? What happened, you never actually told me. I just assumed that maybe Lance might’ve stopped talking to you after he joined up with the jocks since you don’t exactly get on with them, but, he seemed pretty concerned about you today. Now I’m starting to doubt my reasoning. So, what happened?”

Keith closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “It’s nothing, we were best friends and then we grew up and drifted apart. It’s what happens when you grow up, he went off with his friends and I started hanging with you. That’s it. End of story.” A lie, of course. It didn’t happen like that at all, but, he didn’t want Sam finding out the real reason. He didn’t want to lose the only friend he had just because he liked another boy. 

Sam hummed over the phone before he exhaled softly. “Okay, you clearly don’t want to tell me, and that’s fine, just…just know I’m here, okay? If you ever want to talk to me about anything, I’m always going to be here for you alright. For anything.”

A small, sad smile appeared on Keith’s face as he let himself relax against his lumpy pillows. “Thanks, Sam, I know you are.” He felt terrible lying to him, he didn’t want to and in all honestly it would be nice to actually have someone to talk to about these things, but he wasn't going to risk it, otherwise, he’d have no one.

“Okay. Look, I better go, but, I’ll see you tomorrow. I might pop by the café tomorrow and grab a coffee if you’re working?”

“Yeah, I’ll be working.” Keith groaned at the thought of going to work tomorrow. He just wanted to have a day to do nothing and relax, he hadn’t had a day like that in a while. 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye.” Sam chuckled.

Keith said his goodbyes before hanging up and putting his phone down on his wonky bedside table. He was glad he had someone like Sam as a friend. The older boy didn’t push Keith to open up and tell him things he wasn’t comfortable telling. He was careful when he asked a question and he would instantly back down when he felt Keith hesitate. It made him easy to be around. He wanted to be able to confide in Sam about things with Lance, but, even if he did accept him, he knew it would somehow get passed onto other people.

With all these thoughts fresh in his mind, Keith reached over the bed and grabbed his battered notebook from his bag. He had used just over half the book and opened it to where he last left off, not paying attention to any of his previous entries. He didn’t like re-reading what he had previously written, he just found it helped to write everything down at least once when he had no one to talk to about things, like now. 

He wrote to get it out of his head and onto something physical which was why his book was mainly full of a certain tanned boy. He began writing about his day, explaining what had happened with Jason before he moved onto Lance. Before he knew it, he had written almost three pages about the brown-haired boy. He blushed and shoved the book back in his bag with a soft sigh. 

He felt better now. 

Keith couldn’t explain it, it just worked for him. He flopped back down on the bed after undressing and closed his eyes with a tired hum. He rid all thoughts of Lance, his dad, everything from his head as darkness took over and sleep consumed him.