Finishing lunch and the family visit, I set my keys on the table after pulling them out of my pocket. My dad snatched them and spoke.
“Lukas, you take Lev with you in the truck. It will be easier on his wound than in Alessio’s car. “
“Alright.”
No one bothered to stop him. He took my keys because he wanted to have a talk on the ride home. It had nothing to do with Lev’s comfort.
“Well, let’s head out then, Alessio.”
“Right.”
I followed behind my dad out the door and into my own car. Dad got in the passenger seat and passed me back my keys. I waited until I saw Lev get into the truck with Lukas and leave before I started my car. Backing out of the driveway, I spoke.
“Alright. Lay it on me.”
“What would you like me to start with, Alessio?”
“Whatever is causing you the biggest problem.”
“Oh. That’s easy. Lev. Why is Lev in your bed? Are you going to sleep with him? Have you slept with him? What is the nature of the relationship you two have?”
I sighed. Deeply.
“Lev and I are not sleeping together. Lev is sleeping in the bed with me because he can’t sleep on the couch because of his wound. We are friends.”
“For now.”
“Why does it bother you so fucking much that Lev is around? Why are you so mad about it!”
“Lev doesn’t need to be here. He’s fine.”
“Are you his doctor? Or a doctor, for that matter? No. You’re not. Lev is fine, when I say Lev is fine. And I get that you don’t like this, hell I get you didn’t like what I had with Caleb, but Christ, these are my choices to make.”
“It’s too soon for you to be making these choices, Alessio!”
“How do you know that? Are the one suffering because you lost the only one you felt understood you? Are you the one who couldn’t wash the fucking bed sheets without losing your mind because you would lose the scent of him forever, no your not! Until you are, don’t tell me what choices to make and if it’s too soon.”
“You really should speak to Dr Martin.”
“If I feel like I need to, I will.”
“Alessio, I’m just worried about you.”
“I get it. Ok. I do. But this, this isn’t the way to do it. If I at some point decide I want to cross lines with Lev, then you need to accept that. Respect my choices.”
“Alessio. You need—-“
“I need to do things at my own pace, no one else’s. Not even yours, dad.”
“At the very least, keep me up to date on things and how you’re handling shit. I’m your dad and I care about you, a lot more than you might think.”
Neither of us said much more until we pulled into the complex and my dad spoke up.
“You and Lev are coming over for dinner tonight. No excuses. We haven’t had dinner together for a bit and I’m tired of bringing you left overs.”
“I thought you cared about me.”
“I do. That’s why I’m asking you to come for dinner and let you bring Lev.”
“You demanded. But asking sounded nicer, so let’s go with that.” I muttered, getting out of the car.
I would have parked it back in the garage, but that was more work than I wanted to do now. There was something else I wanted, and it was to rub salt in the wound Lev was creating in my father.
“Hey dad, before you go, I have something important to tell you?”
He turned around before opening the door to the garage.
“What?”
“Nonna approves of Lev.”
With that, I jogged into the house before I could possibly witness him losing his ever loving mind.
Lev was chatting with Lukas and Sasha, just inside the door, and I almost took myself out by smashing into his back because I was running from the shit I created with my dad.
Sasha caught my arm as I bounced off Lev. He was the sole reason I wasn’t eating the marble floor.
“Slow down. Be careful.” Sasha said. Narrowing his eyes at me and then looking behind me. I barely had a moment to check to see if it was indeed my father behind me. He grabbed me by the upper arm and I looked at Lukas. He sighed and looked at my father, who was fuming.
“Unhand the brat, Andrei.”
“I’m not a brat.” I replied.
“Shut up.” My father said sharply.
Lukas was able to defuse the situation. But I didn’t get away from my comment.
“Alessio, you know your father’s temper. Why must you push it?” Lukas said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Hmm. Let me think about it. Oh, got it! It’s fun, and it’s easy.”
“I see. Next time. Deal with it.”
I heard Sasha snicker. Lev, on the other hand, frowned at me. It left me feeling a little guilty and uneasy.
Back in my wing, while I cleaned and tossed out a little more of the useless things Caleb had, that I found no need for that wouldn’t cause me emotional disturbance, Lev let me have it too.
“Alessio, you really need to take it easy on your dad. Whatever you said, probably wasn’t the best idea.”
“He said a lot of things to me in that car that weren’t the best idea too!”
“Yes, and you’re both adults. One of you should have enough sense not to push it farther.”
“My god, all I said to him was that my Nonna liked you. It wasn’t like I told him we were fucking every night having a hardcore, ball slapping wonderland.”
“You knew that comment was going to hit a tender spot. That’s why you said it.”
“So what if I did? I’m allowed to say—-“
“You knew it would be a sore spot for your father and you still said. That’s immature, Alessio.”
“I don’t need this shit.”
“We are not done talking about this.”
“Well, I am. Goodnight.” I walked to the bedroom, and I was mildly amused that he followed me here. Still pushing this need for us to discuss the events.
“We can talk about this now, or when you wake up, but we are going to talk about it.”
“There’s no need for us to talk about it anymore. What I did was ‘immature’. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Alessio, you’re even pushing my buttons now.”
“And how is that my fault? I told you I was done talking about this now.”
Going to lie on the bed, Lev grabbed my arm and pulled me to look at him.
“Listen to me. Seriously Alessio.”
“Fine.”
“You need to see Dr Martin, like you said you would, and you need to apologize to both Lukas and your father. You caused shit today not just with your dad, but with Lukas, too. He shouldn’t have calmed your father down so that you can get away from what you started. You need to take responsibility for your own problems.”
“You’re making a big deal out of something that isn’t even that big of a deal. Honestly.”
“It is a big deal. You are making things in their relationship tense, and that’s not fair to them.”
“God, I’ll say I’m sorry if it’s that much of—-”
“Don’t bother if you don’t actually mean it.”
Lev didn’t give me a minute more to speak. He was annoyed with me. He left the room and closed the door behind him. That made me angry, furious even. Opening the bedroom door, I stomped out behind him and screamed at Lev.
“So it’s ok for him to grill me and tell me about what I need to do, but I tell him that his mother likes you and that’s over stepping! This is fucking bullshit Lev, I find it fucking amusing that you choose to take his fucking side. Fucking unbelievable.”
“I’m not taking anyone’s fucking side. I shouldn’t fucking have to.” Lev sighed, even when I was screaming less than a foot away from him.
“He was more worried about if I was sleeping with you, why you were still here and what our relationship was. But again, I tell him that his mother approved of you and I’m the one who needs to go easy on him. Fucking bullshit.”
“You both crossed lines, you both are adults. That being said, he is your father, and he cares about you. I would want to know what my son was up to if I had one in your position, too. And let’s face it, your father knows me better than you do. I don’t blame him for being worried if you were getting involved with me.”
“It’s none of his fucking business if I decide to get involved with you or the fucking mail man!”
“Cut him a break. He is still learning how to be a father, Your father.”
“I don’t care. Who I fuck, get involved with or even share a bed with, is none of his business.”
Lev shook his head, and muttered under his breath he was going to have a shower. Before he walked away from me. I hated that. I hated that he was walking away from me. I wanted to tell him to stop and tell me why he was so annoyed about this. But I didn’t. I let him walk away, to the bedroom, to shower.
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