- Cassidy -
Fighting with all my might, doesn't mean I'll win the war.
That's what happened to my mother.
My voice when trembling like fuck when I was telling him what happened.
The incident, Parker and I always referred to the incident in three parts.
The first part with me getting raped.
The second part was the passing of my mother.
The third was the loss of my child.
Parker split it up in this manner to make the incident seem smaller than it really is. So that I can move on from it faster.
And here I am, sharing everything with the man I think I love. The man I'm starting to love with my whole heart.
"He pulled me out to the back alley, I can't remember much but he was terribly rough with me. My arms and legs hurt so much. Then I heard my mother Caden."
His eyes were wide, "Your mother?"
I sighed, "I drunk called my mother when I was in the club. She got worried and came to check on me. She saw me getting raped by Michael."
"Fuck," was all he could manage. I didn't want to imagine all the anger contained in that one word.
"She saved me Caden. She fought with him, she fought with all her might. Then Michael took out a huge Swiss army knife from his pocket, he stabbed her."
"What in the fucking hell?"
My voice was thick with sadness, tears streaming at full force.
"It was awful Caden, there was blood everywhere. My mother fought with her life for me. I couldn't see her bleeding to death. I took a beer bottle I found on the floor and smashed it to Michael's head. He was unconscious. My mother was bleeding, I was a mess. I held her Caden, I held my mother's dying body in my arms. She kept telling me she loved me. I felt so stupid. My mother died because of me."
He hugged my weak trembling body and I cried onto his chest.
"It's not your fault Rose, no one knew he had a knife with him. No one knew he was violent. No one knew he was going to be a murderer."
I sobbed and pulled away from him, "The police got him, sentenced him. I thought it was over, I lost my mother, the murderer in jail. My father and I had such a hard time coping. He worked hours, keeping me with him whenever he could. We only had one another, my father never blamed me, he knew how my mother was like. She would do anything for me, for us. Then one day I found out I was pregnant."
Caden swore so loudly it made me jump, "That fucking jail rotting bloke got you pregnant?!"
He pressed his hand to his forehead, I cried fresh tears.
I nodded weakly, already tired and stressed from all the talking and crying, "It was his baby, I had all kinds of thoughts. Suicidal, abortion, I thought of all kinds of things. Whether to keep the baby or not. My father respected my decision totally with whatever I wanted to do with the child."
"What happened to the baby?" Caden asked carefully.
My heart ached so badly, I loved my little child, I didn't think of it as the rapist's baby.
It was my baby, my sweet little life, and I lost him or her.
"I lost the child, my womb was incredibly weak. I lost my baby in a miscarriage," Tears were flowing non-stop.
I never wanted to tell anyone, I never thought I would have the guts to.
Yet here I am, pouring my heart and soul out to the man who just told me he loved me.
Will he change his mind? My messy past, will he still want me?
Caden shifted next to me and he rubbed my shoulder, "Cassidy Rose, look at me."
I sniffed and looked up at him, his beautiful brown eyes with that little sparkle gazing at me, his face was pained but he was managing for my sake.
"I love you alright? It hurts me to know how much you've been through and I couldn't help you through any of it.
But I'm here now, I will protect you. I will do anything to be with you, to keep you safe. I will be here for you if you need someone to confide in.
Even if I'm halfway across the world, I'll fly back to you to take care of you if you are sick. I've never met anyone like you Rose. When I laid my eyes on you when I came out of the shower that first day, you can't believe how I felt.
I know I said some snarky remarks but I was stupid, I was really scared that someone I just met made me feel so defenceless."
It was his turn to pour his heart out to me, and I listened, I had no idea I impacted him so much. Is this the love at first sight that everyone was talking about?
I don't know. I do know that my heart is swelling and all I want is to have Caden in my arms.
He took my hands and cupped his face, "I was drunk those two days because of you, I couldn't concentrate on my work. You're beautiful even when you're mean to me Rose I love everything about you."
He wiped my tears away, "I'll be here for you from this moment onwards. Got it?"
That was probably the money shot, I felt my heart burst with love for him and I nodded.
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