Since our first time, something in me has changed. Tyler's every muscle movement is amplified in my eyes every time I stare at him. His thick eyelashes, the furrow on his forehead, the veins in his hands, the curve of his mouth, and his beautiful skin all stand out. Oh, how I want to touch, kiss, and feel that skin. I want to feel his warmth, but Tyler is keeping a safe distance from me. He's hesitant to even take my hand in his. This has left me with a lot of questions, and the only person who can answer them is attempting to avoid me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. It's been a week already. This is too much for me. I'm afraid if I text him, he won't respond, so I announced at lunch that I will go to his place today and finish the assignment. He was taken aback by my sudden announcement, but he accepted it with a ridiculous expression on his face. His face is unimportant right now since I have so many questions. I'm going to get all of them answered today, I reasoned.
I was becoming annoyed because today seemed to be going on forever. It feels like a year has passed since the last class. I walked to the parking lot as soon as class ended, and Tyler was already in his car. When I got into his car, neither of us said anything until we arrived at his house. When we entered the house, I was greeted by Tyler's mother, who was overjoyed to see me. Tyler's mother was really nice to me and I think I like her.
Tyler was downstairs grabbing some munchies for us, so I walked into his room and sat on his bed. When I was thinking about how to handle it, I thought that maybe I was reading too much into the situation and that he, too, needed some time to comprehend what had happened, so I decided to wait a little longer and let him speak for himself. Urgh! What am I going to do about this? It’s agonising.
Tyler walked into the room carrying a platter of snacks and a bottle of juice. He said, winking at me as he grabbed up a glass "Here's a little something to get you started. It isn't wine, I'm afraid." I shifted my gaze away from him. He groaned and said I'm fully aware that I've been acting oddly.
So, you do. (D)
Dee I feel like trash right now. (T)
Why? (D)
"I did it with a drunk person," he whispered as he stared at the ground. (T)
What? I couldn't figure out who he was talking about. Please don't tell me.
We had sex when you were completely drunk and not in the right mind. (T)
I don't understand; I came here specifically for that purpose. Why are you feeling this way? (D)
I have read online that we are supposed to get consent for every step. You can change your mind in between, but you might be putting up with it because of me. I don't want to hurt you. (T)
I was in awe. Can he stop being like this? I can't help but fall for him all over again.
I cupped his face in my hands and placed a kiss on his forehead, then I moved away from him and said, "See, this is new for me too." I don't know the rules either. I was not even aware that I could change my mind in between and ask you to stop. So.....
He looked at me eagerly. So, let's make our own rules on what we can do and what we can't do.
Like? (T)
Like it's not just you who asks for consent but I should also ask you whether you like something that I'm going to do to you. (D)
We spent the whole evening making rules for lovemaking. It was funny because it felt like we were grownups. Do grownups even do this stuff? It must be nice to be an adult.
We were recounting experiences we had that made us feel good and things that didn't feel good. We made a big list of DO's and Don'ts, but according to Tyler, the first and most important rule was that we should not do it when we are drunk, to which we unanimously consented.
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