[WARNING: Traumatic past and abuse]
I removed my gaze from Roy to see Kai standing in front of me. I quickly glanced at his cast and continued to lock my eyes onto my captor. Regardless of my feelings for him, I was glad to know that his arm would be in better shape.
"I need to speak with you before we leave."
I slipped my hands into my pocket at his request. Kai was intent on being on time to the Hanor and refused to see me earlier, so why talk to me now? If we didn't leave in fifteen minutes, judging by the traffic, we would be late for my date with the mob.
I wanted another cigarette, but instead I nodded my head in approval as Kai turned toward the CP.
"Lotus to CP." I stated into the mic.
I followed Kai as he walked inside, as Agent Yao, or afternoon shift CP agent, stood up and gave him a big greeting. Kai smiled at him, turning to head upstairs.
Shit...he was heading to my room.
Yes, this was Kai's property and yes, I had no claim to the room I used while I lived at the Belle. However, after Roy and I had sex, the last thing I wanted to deal with was Kai. I wasn't embarrassed about it, nor was I upset that it happened. What I was, however, was irritated by the fact that I couldn't keep my past and present life separate.
Kai turned the nob to my door, entering, as I followed.
"Look, Kai..." I started, but was unable to finish my sentence.
Kai was on me, just as fast as he had been the night before. His uninjured hand pulled me to him, as our lips connected: amidst the sweat and love scent that danced around my room. But the way his tongue ran around mine was agonizingly pleasurable. But I made a commitment, one that I wasn't about to break for this assholes fleeting fancies.
I closed the door, immediately pushing Kai off of me: but only rough enough for him to get the point.
"For once in your life, Kai, fucking wake up! You think, even now, that power grants you whatever the fuck you want! That's now how life fucking works! Get it through your head that I am no longer yours to break." I spat.
Kai laughed at that, making my blood boil. "You love him, don't you."
I didn't respond, just watched him. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of staying in tune with my relationship. Nor did I want him dragging Roy into our hell. However, it was in that maddening confusion that I noticed his eyes began to water.
Was Kai sad that I was no longer his?
"Fuck." Kai chuckled, wiping his eyes. "The second you came back into my life, I could feel how much you hated me. How much you resented being near me...and it hurt."
I looked at him, wallowing in his own pity, as the words I wanted to say disappeared.
"But I was no better. I didn't protect you like I promised."
"Stop." I warned, not wanting to hear it.
"I didn't stop them…I was so weak and pathetic that I was made to watch the one person I held dear—"
"Kai!" I warned, my fist clenching in disgust.
"Be beaten and framed for something he didn't commit. I didn't stand up for you at school…or visit you in jail…and I was an ass since you've been on the job."
My heart was beating fast, so painfully that I felt it in my temple. Why was he saying these things to me after all this time as if it would make a damn difference. Our past was doused in oil and burnt for all eternity. He couldn't make me—
Kai began to unbutton his shirt with one hand, but he was struggling to do so.
"But in my own fucked up way…I thought you taking the fall was safer. That if they sent you to jail so you could stay away from me…that he wouldn't kill you like he promised. So…I made a choice to betray your love so you could keep your life. But I never wanted to give you up."
"Kai, what are you—" I started, only to see the fearful realization.
"I did want to see you…go to the jail, tell the police the truth of it all. But instead, I was tortured into submission."
When Kai undid his last button, I saw the whelps and scars that lined his chest. It was hard for me to take my eyes off them. It was so unexpected because I recalled his porcelain skin, so smooth to the touch that it caressed me to sleep. But instead, the clear horrors he had endured changed the comfort of my past to a disfigured raisin. My fist unraveled, my breathing became slower…and all I could do was look into Kai's swollen eyes.
"I'm sorry, Max…I'm so fucking sorry for everything I've done to you, but we can't go to the Hanor. Or else…or else he'll…"
"Shh." I whispered.
I had never seen Kai cry. He didn't shed a tear when his mother left him as a boy, nor when he was abused by his father. However, even though I couldn't stand the man before me and even though I resented him, I always questioned why. Why would someone so gentle and kind, someone I so desperately loved, throw me away. I agonized over that in my cell, crying myself to sleep and bloodying my knuckles in unknown anguish. Now I know it was because he himself was a prisoner…and he gave up his body to protect me the only way he knew he could. I now see I'm not the only one who suffered, and my thoughts jumbled into one burning question. Because I needed to hear this from the bastards mouth who threw us in hell.
"Who did this to you?" I asked, wiping Kai's tears.
He was the son of the president, and whether we went to the Hanor or not, he couldn't be seen in this state.
His voice quivered upon saying his name, but my mind connected the dots. That black haired boy…with the devilish grin. My face became emotionless, as I buttoned Kai's shirt. Darian was the prize son of the Manor Gang. He was the boy who beat me senseless, planted a gun in my hand, and had me arrested on school property. I was said to be mentally insane, troubled, and a threat to the healthy nature of the private institution. But in reality, I was an innocent boy who had been wronged by the system.
"Is that who we would be meeting tonight?"
I finished buttoning Kai's shirt, straightened his collar, and looked him square in the eye. I wanted to see Darian bleed and if that meant following through with a death wish, then that's what I would do. Roy was by my side now and I had nothing to fear. Besides, I wanted to hear more from Kai. Even if I could no longer love him, I saw him in another light.
"Then we wouldn't want to make him wait."