12:00 PM

I hear the doorbell ring while talking to Leo. One of Leo's mothers opens the door and I hear "Clen! Did the plan work out? Are you done with that toxic asshole? Tell me everything" The woman at the door laughs and then starts sobbing. I go down the stairs and see my mother collapsed on her knees crying. I have never seen my mother cry, she was always a strong woman, but just seeing her like this makes me run over to her and hug her, she looks up, sees me, then hugs me back, but this hug is different, I normally feel loved but this time I feel love and other emotions that I never knew I was capable of feeling. The emotions came in like a tsunami, it was a lot for me to take in.

4:30 PM

Once my mom explained everything and the household had calmed I started to help with dinner, I love cooking and that's a fact, I have always loved to cook when I can and made snacks for my brother's friends whenever they came to our house, I thought I was as good as Gordon. I would say it's a hobby but since my father said it was a woman's job to cook I stopped because I knew I didn't have a choice whether I could keep on cooking or not because either way if I were to continue, my dad would take all of the spices and ingredients away but that never stopped me from getting recipe books, but since looking at them only made me hungry and want to make them, I gave up. When I found out that I could help make the food I couldn't help but ask

"Can I make dinner by myself? I ask with excitement. The mothers look at my Ma and then say

"Sure! Do whatever you want but don't forget to make dessert!"

Then one of Leo's mothers showed me their kitchen and says

"Go crazy" then steps back

"If you can't find something let me know ill be able to help"

I stare in amazement, their kitchen is huge! I find the pots and pans and start cooking. I start with some pork chops and I pat the meat dry then I add seasoning. I preheat the skillet and wait for it to start simmering while I chop some carrots and asparagus to fry with the pork chops. Once I finish cooking, I get the plates ready, leave the kitchen, and start setting the table. Once everyone is seated I pass out the food and put the carrots and asparagus in a separate bowl and add some garlic butter and shake the bowl so that the butter has covered everything and the asparagus has been mixed up with the carrots so that you get a mix of every veggie.

5:30 PM

Once everybody is finished I gather the dishes and start dessert. I made some chocolate batter so I put them into the pans and the oven then I gathered all of the dirty dishes and started washing them. The cakes are finished baking so I start with the white chocolate filling and start shaping the cakes. When everything is plated I grab some raspberries and mint and put them on top of the cakes and bring them to the dinner table, they haven't said anything during the meal so I have no clue what they think of the food so I'm nervous, very nervous. I don't know what to do, I feel like one of those people on a cooking show. Leo's mom takes a bite and starts tearing up.

"Is it that bad?" I ask then she looks at me and smiles and then says

"Oh no, honey! It's wonderful! This has been the best meal I have had ever since I divorced my husband! Thank you!" That response made me the happiest person in the world then

"thank you, that makes me really happy." since I'm sitting right next to Leo, he hugs me and says

"You must really love cooking, but I do have to say the food was good but maybe a little less butter on the veggies'' I'm the happiest human in the world right now. I love getting tips and help from people because that's how I learn best. I noticed that Leo had a face of happiness and said

"The food was good!!" I smiled and said

"I'm very happy, this has been the first time I have a hobby that makes people happy and not criticize me but give me tips, I love feedback" I hear Leo sigh of relief Ma walks over and whispers in my ear

"It was delicious, I have never had a great meal since granny died." I look at her and smile.

8:00 PM

I finally started cleaning everything, dishes, washcloths, counters, the dining table, etc. I started heading to Leo's room and open the door while he was changing. I slam the door and blush, I bet I look like a tomato, but his body is so nice. He opens the door and pulls me in and then locks the door and says

"Only kisses okay" he nods and starts walking over to me, but I start backing away for some reason. It was too late before I noticed what I had gotten myself into, Leo was a ravenous beast. I'm pushed up against his wall almost asking for mercy. His hands were going up my shirt while his soft lips were on mine, our tongues touching, I can't help but want more the way he is so harsh and yet so gentle at the same time just makes me want more I can't help. I give in. I let him tease me in all ways possible. He starts reaching for my underwear which was the last straw.

"I said only kisses," I say while pushing him away

"Oh, sorry," Leo said, backing away from me. I sprint out of his room into the kitchen. I have no clue why I went to the kitchen but I start crying. I managed to pull myself together, but just sitting there won't make me feel much better, so I start cooking I have no clue what I'm cooking but all I know is that I am making food, cooking helped me get my mind off of everything when I was younger, my parents fought a lot back then so I used cooking as an escape from reality, a way for me to cope with stress. I had ended up with some strudels of all kinds of flavors, thankfully I woke no one with the cooking so I cleaned, put away everything, put all the strudels on a plate, and carried them upstairs into my room. Unexpectedly my mother was waiting in my bed

"Take a seat"

"Mom I want to go to bed"

"Honey, this is important" I sigh and sit down

"Strudel?"

"Sure." My mother starts talking about how she met Leo's mothers in college and kept in contact once they had graduated. She talked about how an arranged marriage would happen between my mom and dad, both sides of the family were at benefit so my mother agreed because my grandmother at the time was in critical condition in the hospital. My father had already married before my mother and my brother was my half brother how my dad was a good guy until he had got promoted in work which caused a lot of stress on him so which caused him to take it out on my mom and me, but for some reason, he never took it out on his son. I am just sitting there with a strudel hanging out of my mouth, she's crying, I hug her and tell her

"You don't have to tell me any more, okay?"

"Oh, mkay. If there's anything you don't understand just let me know okay?"

"Ok" and she leaves my room.

8:30 PM

I take out my phone and start searching up stuff about how I don't feel like myself being a boy but I don't want to be a girl, I see the word "non-binary" and the definition fits just how I am feeling right now. I mean I never wanted to be feminine or, masculine, I just wanted to be me, but the pronouns will be a pain in the ass to explain to everybody. I shouldn't just determine my gender as soon as I see something online, this is so confusing, maybe I am just a normal human that is confused, which is all just a phase, right? Just a phase.

12:30 AM

Shit, I can't sleep, what am I supposed to do? Ugh, I hate my insomnia. I realize that Leo is two rooms away from me, maybe I should just snuggle with him. Tell him, I'm sorry. He forgives me. I love him. He loves me. I get up and stretch a little and creep through the hallways, I head over to his room and knock this time, he groans and says

"Come in" I come in

"What are you doing up?" he asks

"I'm sorry, I'll leave" I start walking back to my room

"No, It's fine you can stay" He mumbles

"Oh okay,"
He lifts his blanket to indicate me to snuggle up so I tiptoe to his bed and whisper

"I'm sorry" He answers almost immediately almost harshly

"No I am, you did nothing wrong and I was the dumbass who took advantage of you so shut your hole."

I noticed he couldn't look me in the eyes so I tilt his chin and give him a soft kiss on the lips, I can see tears welling up in his eyes, he turns away and then he starts choking back tears

"I fucked up, I'm, sorry, I lost control of myself and I know that's not a good excuse for hurting you, I love you to death and I would never intentionally hurt you in any way, I love you, I love you a lot and I don't know what I would do without you, so please, forgive me, I don't deserve you." I realize he truly feels terrible and that even if I forgave him, he wouldn't forgive himself,

"I know, I love you a lot as well and it only happened once."

"Once is all it takes." I can feel him shaking, I wrap my arms around him and intertwine my legs with his, I hope this is a way for him to realize I'm okay. In response Leo stops shaking and relaxes, then he escapes my grip around him then he tilts my chin up and starts kissing me. This time I say nothing, the kisses spread along my neck going to my chest then to my thighs. I know I am screwed but, I love him, he loves me, right?

8:00 AM

I wake up, have all my clothes on, but I'm covered in hickeys, and notice dry tears on my cheek. My hair is down and all over my face, I should cut it soon. I'm all wrapped up in Leo's arms and I notice that he's got a scar on his eyebrow, hm, can't believe I never noticed, it might be new but who knows I just-

"Morning sunshine" I jump

"Ah, it's you" I realize it's Leo. I look at him and give him a kiss

"Am I that scary?" Leo pouts

"No of course not! I just forgot about what all happened yesterday. I finally get some sleep when I am with you, that's all" I'm not lying. When I was at the hotel I slept well, and last night I slept well. He's a blessing, my blessing.

End Of Part 1