Friday rolled around fast. Too fast for my liking. I felt like I hadn't had enough time to prepare. And honestly, I was thinking about backing out of the whole thing.
Darius thought he was going on a date with Kaeden, not the three of us. It wasn't fair to suddenly put this on him. Plus, what if he wasn't into poly? It would've been a lost opportunity for Kaeden to have a boyfriend and date.
I didn't want to ruin that.
But I also didn't want to go through the rejection and embarrassment of having Darius show his disgust when Kae tells him about us. I don't want Kae to hate me for deterring a hot date away.
My palms were sweaty as I wiped them on my pyjama shorts. Kaeden was in the shower, singing and moving things about as he got ready for the date. I was waiting for him to come out so I could break the news.
When he finally emerged, naked, his blonde hair damp and curling against his forehead, I had to take deep breaths to stop myself from getting distracted. Or getting dissapointed with the fact that if things did go well between him and Darius, I can't touch him like that anymore.
"Why aren't you getting ready?" Kaeden asked in confusion, running a comb through his dripping hair. He walked towards me and my eyes strayed between his legs.
"Ash," he sang, wiggling his eyebrows. "You wanna get down and dirty?"
My cheeks lit up in flames. "N-no, I wanna talk to you. Will you put some clothes on?"
"I can't until we pick our matching outfits," he rolled his eyes, turning his back on me, so I had a great view of his ass, and strutted back into the bathroom to get a towel.
When he emerged for the second time, he had a bottle of strawberry lotion in his hands. "Since you're wasting time, might as well multi task so we're not late," he told me, walking over and making himself comfortable in my lap where I sat.
I held out my hands and he squirted the cool lotion onto my palm. I rubbed my hands together before massaging the sweet smelling cream into his skin.
"What are we talking about exactly?" He asked as I ran my hands down his arms.
"I... I've decided to stay at home," I muttered, unable to look into his eyes.
Kaeden froze. He snatched his arms back, crossing them over his chest. "You don't want to go on our date?"
"Your date," I whispered. "A-and I do want to but I dont feel comfortable Kae. I'd rather stay at home," I whispered.
A hurt look crossed his face. "You're not even going to try? What if Darius is okay with this?"
"But he probably won't be. You lied to him," I sighed. "Please, just don't mention me. Have fun. I don't want you to miss out for the both of us."
He huffed crossing his arms over his chest. "That's not the way this is going to go. I already told you that we were sticking together whether we had a boyfriend or not."
"You're being unrealistic Kae. There's no chance we'll find a guy who likes the two of us. No one would proudly date twin boys at the same time. I just... I want you to be happy without me holding you back," I sniffed.
I could already see the tears in his eyes and panicked. I didnt mean to upset him. Really, I didnt. "I'm sorry Kaeden!"
He fanned his eyes, shaking his head after sucking in a breath. "Can't you just be optimistic for like five seconds? Cant you just try for the both of us Ash? Is it because you dont want to be with me? Is that it?"
"No! I never said that!" I gasped, shaking my head at his misinterpretation of my words.
"That's what it feels like. You're palming me off onto other guys cause you don't like me like that anymore," he choked and his tears came faster. "Well fine."
He got up, snatching his hand back after I went to grab it. I felt hurt explode in my chest at my twin's actions. He was a bit of a drama queen whenever we fought, but this time... it felt real.
"Kaeden," I whispered, calling out to him as he rushed back into our bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.
Slumping back into the sofa, I buried my face in my hands and let the tears fall from my eyes. I didn't like arguing. I despised it. Confrontation gave me all sorts of anxiety. I felt it in my chest as I cried. He was my twin, yet we were arguing over men, misunderstanding each other.
I don't know how long I sat there trying to recover my breathing but there was a knock at the door that startled me. I sat up, groaning in distress when I saw the clock on the wall.
Eight. Darius was here.
I looked down at my half naked state. The little pyjama shorts I was wearing weren't flattering in the least and my t-shirt was loose and frumpy around my stomach. I looked awful, yet I couldn't go and change since Kaeden was still in our bedroom.
Another, firmer knock sounded out. Shit. I got up, walking towards the door, on the verge of another breakdown. I took a deep breath, before unlocking it and pulling it open, hiding my body behind the wood.
"Hi," I squeaked, feeling heat rush to my face.
Darius stood there, a surprised look on his face. He really did look handsome, dressed in a tight polo shirt that hugged his huge muscles. Black chinos adorned his legs. His face was freshly shaven and he had a leather jacket slung over his arm. I got a whiff of his cologne too and it made my stomach flutter.
"Evening Ash," he spoke softly, yet his deep voice was intimidating to say the least.
"G-good evening," I stuttered, staring at him before lowering my gaze and shuffling back. "Umm, he's still getting ready, but he should be out soon," I whispered, hoping Kae would be quick so that I didnt have to endure this awkwardness.
Reluctantly, I stepped back, opening the door wider to let the giant in. He stepped through the door frame, his eyes watching me carefully. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I looked like a wreck, yet he gave me his undivided attention.
"Are you okay? You seem a little... upset," he asked carefully.
I hugged my stomach, trying to make myself appear a little less lumpy. God I wish he'd stop staring. "I'm fine. Would you like something to drink?"
"No thank you, I'm okay. How was your day Ash?"
Horrible.
"G-good. I didn't do much, just reading," I tugged at my shorts, trying to cover my thighs.
"You like to read, huh?" He smiled and a dimple appeared in his cheek. It only made me blush further. "You are a librarian."
"I do like to read." I agreed.
"What kind of books?" He asked again. Part of me wanted to run away and lock myself in the bathroom. The other part was flattered that he was even talking to me.
He may just be trying to pass time but a little tiny piece of my heart hoped that he was genuinely interested.
"Anything really. I like fantasy books the most. Anything to escape reality," I told him.
"I'm the type to watch fantasy films instead," he thought and I smiled.
"Always read the books first," I scolded him playfully - though it really was a pet peeve of mine.
"I made that mistake with Harry Potter. I watched the films first then tried reading the books. I was a confused mess," he admitted and I giggled.
He grinned at that, adjusting his stance and folding his arms over his chest. "So, what are you going to do while I steal your brother away?"
Probably cry beneath my bed sheets because I hate it when I'm alone just knowing that Kaeden is mad at me really freaking hurts.
"U-umm I-I'll find something," I shrugged softly.
"Have you eaten?" He asked on a more serious tone.
No.
"Yes, I have. B-but umm, Kae hasn't. He's allergic to sea food by the way so be careful if the place you're going to that sells that type of stuff," I told him quickly.
"Noted."
The door to the bedroom finally opened then and Kaeden came out. He looked stunning, dressed in tight, grey slacks and a fitted, short sleeved dress-shirt with diamond buttons. His blonde locks were pushed back off his face and held with gel, making his blue eyes look bigger and brighter.
However, as handsome as he looked, I didn't miss the sadness in his face and immediately felt guilty.
"Hey Darius," Kaeden smiled at the large man who was staring intently at Kae. I'm pretty sure he licked his lips.
"Kaeden. You look beautiful." Darius spoke, his dark eyes travelling up and down my twin's body.
"Thank you," Kaeden flirtatiously shot him a wink. "Don't look too bad yourself big guy."
Darius held out his hand and Kaeden graced him with his much smaller one. They headed towards the front door and I shuffled back, watching them go.
"H-have fun," I whispered.
Kaeden didnt answer. There goes my crushed heart again.
"See you later Ash," Darius bid me farewell and they were out the door. The moment the lock clicked in place, my face fell.
I sighed, letting my arms drop from around my waist. I guess this was the start of the rift between us. We were eventually going to have to face the reality that we couldn't be together forever. Twincest-poly just wasnt what society wanted.
With a heavy heart, I quickly swept around the apartment, putting things away and tidying up. Not feeling hungry at all, I switched off all the lights, made sure the door was locked and headed into our bedroom.
I wasnt sleepy either. So, to make myself feel better, I decided to indulge in my guilty pleasure for a little while now that I was alone. My secret guilty pleasure that not even Kaeden knew about.
I reached under the bed and pulled out the bag shoved right to the back. It was duffel bag that I'd told Kaeden was full of old clothes not in fashion at the moment. That was a lie.
I brought the bag into the bathroom with me and closed the door behind me. Then I sat on the floor, unzipped the bag and pulled out the first pretty skirt I saw.
I had a thing for skirts and thigh thigh stockings. A really big thing. But there was no way I would ever tell anybody. I didnt need anymore attention drawn to myself then necessary.
I also didn't want to see the disgust on my twin's face if he ever found out I was into cross-dressing. Not that he'd ever shared his opinion on the matter, but I was too scared and insecure to tell him anyway.
It was better if I just kept it to myself.
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