Days passed, then weeks. No squirrel or living creature dared go anywhere near the dungeon’s door, let alone disturb him. After a month, it seemed that the Flash of Dread was energy well spent. Luck and chance, however, always had a way of confounding even the most perfect of plans. While Theo was snoozing away—as was the skeletal minion—a grey-haired man made his way through the forest of Thornwood. With the cicada squirrels gone, there was no creature to stop him from going forward, although the roots and branches were doing a pretty good job at slowing him down. Twice the man’s helmet was knocked off his head, forcing him to pick it back up from the ground with a grumble. On the third time, the man could take it no longer.

“You bloody wormwood branches!” the man shouted, shaking a fist at the tree was the latest culprit. “When this is all over, I’ll cut your trunk to splinters and leave a root so you could watch as I make your branches to mush for the paper mill! And when that’s done, I’ll take that paper along with a barrel of sour apples and use it to wipe my ass!”

The series of curses continued, becoming louder and louder, not to mention more explicit. Like a torrent of water, the noise made its way past the forest and into the valley where Theo was trying to sleep.

“What now?” the dungeon grumbled, cracking the door open. No sooner had he done so, when the cursing suddenly ended.

This made Theo somewhat confused. Remaining perfectly still, the dungeon waited, uncertain whether he hadn’t merely dreamt the noise. Since nothing happened for several minutes, he closed the door and was just about to get back to snoozing when a new series of curses filled the air.

This time the dungeon opened the door widely. There was no mistake—the noise was there. What was more, it had gotten loud enough for him to make out individual swear words.

“Guide!” the dungeon grumbled.

Is there any way I could be of assistance? The spirit guide asked with the enthusiasm of an overworked customer support assistant.

“Why is there some drunk shouting in my forest?” Theo asked. “Wasn’t this place supposed to be deprived of people?”

That was before you chased away the cicada squirrels. Now Thornwood is merely a rather unpleasant forest located in a difficult to reach location. Most likely, an adventurer has gotten lost and is seeking a place to rest. It’s not an uncommon occurrence.

“Adventurers,” Theo said.

He hated them with a passion. Even back in his previous life, people who regularly went hiking or travelling—and kept casually shoehorning their trips in every conversation—annoyed him to the extreme. Adding to that, adventurers in this world were considered to be a dungeon’s natural enemy.

“Cmyk, go scare him off,” Theo ordered.

Sitting on a chair, the skeleton tilted its skull.

“You’re a skeleton, you’re supposed to be able to do that. Just wave your sword or something.”

Even through his utter emotionlessness, the skeleton didn’t appear convinced. Nonetheless he took the bone sword from his spine and went outside.

Meanwhile, the old man’s curses were getting closer and closer. At this point he had given up picking his helmet from the ground, and had continued bareheaded through the forest. Going past the final few trees, the old man stopped to catch his breath. Breathing heavily, he took a sword from his belt—sheath and all—and leaned on it as if it were a cane.

Seeing him made Theo feel guilty. He had no intention of allowing the man anywhere near, but even so chasing away a poor unfortunate old man felt wrong.

“Cmyk,” Theo said. “Maybe just ask him to leave.”

The skeleton minion looked over his shoulder, then back at the old adventurer. Slowly, he halved the distance between them and stopped. The next minute passed in silence. The adventurer had a lot to say, but was still fighting to calm his breathing. Facing him, Cmyk has neither the ability, nor the will to say anything at all.

“You think you can fool me, archdemon?!” the old man finally said, his voice booking throughout the entire valley. “A single skeleton is no match for the likes of me! I’ll have you know that back in my day—”

“Just great,” Theo sighed. “He’s drunk. Cmyk, shoo him away!”

While the adventurer kept going on his tirade, the skeleton waved its sword clumsily in a fashion that would make a scarecrow seem heroic. The man gave the minion a single glance, then completely ignored it as he walked past. Needless to say, Cmyk didn’t bother rushing after the man in an attempt to stop him.

Theo, however, was not having any of that. When the adventurer got a few steps away, the dungeon slammed and bolted the front door.

“Open up!” The man slammed on the door. “You think that a simple door would stop me?!”

“Guide, is there a way to zap him with electricity or something?” the dungeon asked.

If you hadn’t used up most of your energy when casting the Flash of Dread, that would have been possible, the spirit guide said.

“I’ll bash the door in!” the adventurer shouted from outside.

“Can he do that?” Theo asked.

Not with his bare hands. Given that the door is the absolute weakest, it is possible for it to be chopped up using an axe, mace, or adequate sword.

A loud slam sounded as the adventurer slammed into the door with his shoulder. A few seconds later, he did it again. And again. For whatever reason the old man refused to use any weapon in his attempts to break into the dungeon. That could have been seen as a good thing, but it only made Theo think of his neighbors during his past life; they too would pound on the wall for no apparent reason.

“Just go away!” Theo shouted. “Find some other dungeon to pester.”

In response, the adventurer took a few steps back and charged into the door again. This time, the door shook quite violently. Encouraged by the effect, the old man went back even further, almost reaching the spot in which Cmyk stood. Then he charged forward.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Theo said, doing the only thing his low lack of energy would allow: he opened the door.

The action caught the adventurer completely by surprise. Unable to stop, he attempted to slow down. The effort was clumsy, causing him to trip on the door’s threshold, then go falling right in the direction of the table. A loud crack was heard as the old man hit his chin on the edge of the table.

Oh dear, Theo thought. That didn’t sound well at all.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have killed Lord Maximillian Ezier during his attempt to obtain your core!

Lord Ezier was a triple hero of the land of legendary stature who saved the continent of Kajilan from destruction seven times, and as well as single-handedly defeated the archdemon Ziken—minion of the Demon Lord Enelyion.

978,654,300 Core Points obtained.

News of your achievement shall be known throughout the entire continent.

“Crap…” Theo whispered. This was one fine mess he had managed to get himself into.