Fourteen—
Kai refuses to leave my side now. If I'm not on the same floor as him in the house, he goes nuts. I swear, if I would have known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have told him anything happened. It was getting a little out of hand. On the bright side though, he couldn't keep his hands off of me.
Like now for instance. I was in the kitchen whipping up dinner, minding my own business, when suddenly he was behind me, pulling my hips back against him so I could feel just how happy he was to see me.
"You are insatiable," I laughed.
His chest rumbled as he chuckled lowly. It was a husky sound that had my toes curling in anticipation. His lips found their way to my neck.
"Can I at least finish cooking? I can't just stop in the middle of it."
"I'm not stopping you," he mused, but his hands said otherwise as he slipped them under the shirt I was wearing. I only wear normal clothes when I leave the house now. Any other time, I'm sporting one of his shirts which he complains about since he'll have nothing to wear.
One finger teased my opening before slipping inside me completely. I gasped, almost falling on to the stove if he hadn't caught me.
"Kai, I'm cooking!"
"So cook," he breathed huskily.
I moaned as he twisted his finger inside me, leaning back against his chest and dropping the spatula on the pan. As soon as I did, he removed his finger and stuck it into his mouth. "I thought you were cooking?" he smirked walking away. I threw the spatula at him and listened to him laugh heartily.
I've been seeing a new side of Kai lately. This playful, teasing side that I was really starting to enjoy. Except when he pulled stunts like this.
Now I was horny.
I grumbled the whole time while making dinner. When it was finished and I called Kai to the table, he was smirking at me. I glared at him and pointed to his seat.
"Looks delicious," he complimented.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Eat your food, Kai."
My Alpha grinned and dug in. I ate my food slowly, more so admiring my mate across the table. He was still stressed out but tried hard not to show it. Ever since that incident happened, he's been pretending that there was nothing wrong, but it was clear that there was.
"When do you plan on moving me to the safe house?" I asked.
Kai's good mood spoiled.
"Don't worry about that."
"How long are you going to keep me in the dark? I'm going crazy not knowing what's happening. And now that Mel was moved to the safe house, I have no one to be with when you're busy. Plus, Sherry told me he's moving down there tomorrow. Then I'll really have no one."
"Do you want to go down there? I thought I was doing you a favor by letting you stay out here."
"It would be if you let me leave the freaking house!"
"And let them get you? I promised to protect you and that's what I'm doing."
"Gah! You're hopeless!" I fumed, getting up and leaving him at the table. I covered my plate and put it in fridge.
I heard him come into the kitchen after me.
"Look Drew, I'm sorry. There's just a lot going on and I really can't let you get hurt. They've tried once and I'm not going to let it happen again. Plus, Robin said—"
"Wait, wait, wait! Did you just say Robin? Are you kidding me? You're still seeing her after what she did to me? Where the hell is your loyalty?"
"I know this sounds bad but we need her. She's our only hope to fighting this War."
War?
"What...War?"
Kai swore, kicking a chair across the room in anger and running his fingers through his hair.
I guess that was something I wasn't supposed to know.
"We're in War? With who? Why the hell didn't you think it was necessary to tell me something so important?" I screamed at him.
"Keep your voice down," he warned, using his Alpha dominance. "If I tell you anything, the Elders will kill you. They'll kill you and make me watch. There is a reason why Alphas are so adamant about keeping Alpha business from the Omegas, especially the ones who have mates. We are sworn."
I covered my mouth as tears blurred my vision.
"Kai I'm so sorry—"
"No, don't apologize Drew. You have nothing to apologize for. I really wish I could tell you everything. I really do, but I will never risk your life, okay? Never."
I nodded my head and hugged him.
I feel like such an ass. All those times I got mad at him for not telling me anything when really, he was just protecting me.
"You have no idea how much I love you," he murmured, digging his face into my hair, gently petting the shaved side of my head.
"I love you too. More than my own life."
Kai's arms tightened around me.
"Don't you ever say that. Your life is way more important than mine."
I shook my head but didn't reply. It was a debate that could go on forever and I'd rather not start it.
"If you want, we can move you down there tonight? I already have our room prepared. All your stuff can be taken down tomorrow."
"No, I want to stay up here with you."
"Okay."
We made our way upstairs and made love the entire night.
*
"Drew come on! It's time to go!" Kai yelled from at the bottom of the steps. I tried to hurry but I was just so damn uncomfortable. My nipples were so itchy, feeling the fabric of the shirt rub against them just drove me insane. It was his freaking fault! He was always biting them and sucking on them, no wonder they were so sensitive.
I sighed, settling on a tank and biting my bottom lip the whole time as I fought through the discomfort. The hardened nubs never let up, it was as if they were permanently at high alert. The others were definitely going to make fun of me for it.
I hurried down to Kai who was waiting impatiently.
"You changed your shirt again?"
"It was uncomfortable," I muttered.
Kai smirked before picking up my duffle and whistling happily. I gritted my teeth at him, fighting the urge not to throw a shoe at him. He held out his hand and I took it as we made our way to the safe house. When we got there, Mel was waiting to ambush me.
"Drew! I've missed you!"
I caught her and spun her around in circles.
"What are we? Chopped liver?" Pyka huffed. He was just now starting to show, but it wasn't too bad. At eight weeks with triplets, he was actually looking great.
I smiled at him which he returned. Nick popped up behind him, planting kisses all over his face. He giggled happily and I admired the sight of the happy couple. Especially when Nick started to rub Pyka's swollen stomach.
My own stomach twisted.
I wanted that. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted Kai to kiss me and rub my stomach, whisper greetings to our unborn pups through the wall of my body. I wanted the promise of a family.
Goddess damn it all!
"Why are you crying?" Mel asked.
Jeez, I've just been a mess lately.
"Sorry, nothing important."
Mel let it drop for now but I could tell she was going to pester me later. Kai brought my things to our room which was a bit bigger than the one we have at home and attached to our room was another room. I walked inside of it before he could stop me.
It was a baby room, fully equipped for the pups I was supposed to have.
"That was supposed to be a surprise for you when you got pregnant," Kai said. I stared at the room feeling empty, quite literally. Kai noticed my sadness and pulled me out of the room. He closed the door and locked it. "Stay positive okay? We'll keep trying."
More tears spilled from my eyes. Kai dropped the duffle and held me tight. "I spoke to Robin. Demanded that she tell me what she gave you. While I wasn't able to find out what it was, she did tell me that it would not affect your eggs or your womb."
I choked on a sob.
Yeah right. She would say anything to get back on Kai's good side.
"I know you don't believe her but I do. Who knows? You could be pregnant right now. Do you want Sherry to have a look?"
I shook my head.
I would know if I was.
I never felt emptier in my entire life. There was no way a child could be inside of me. I wouldn't feel like this if there was.
Kai sighed.
"Why don't you go join the others? I'll finish putting your stuff away."
"No, I'll do it. I know you have business to attend to," I told him softly.
"Drew that can wait—"
"I just need to think. I want to do it, it will give me time by myself."
Kai stared at me for a few moments before admitting defeat and leaving the room. I started unpacking letting my mind wander, which was a dangerous thing.
We've been trying for months now and I still wasn't showing any signs. Regardless of what Robin says to Kai, I know that by the way we've been going at it, I should be pregnant...unless she did something. I hated her. I hated her with every fiber of my being.
Why couldn't she just let me have my happiness?
Damn her!
I threw a hair brush across the room. It slammed into the wall shattering into tiny pieces. Tears flowed more freely and it didn't matter to me anymore. I cry and cry and cry but what else could I do? I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm sick of trying to tough it out. I'm sick of fighting for hope. I'm just so sick of it.
What good am I?
What worth do I have?
None.
I am nothing.
And it's all because of her.
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