Hello, everyone! 

First, my computer is not fixed yet. I probably won't be able to fix it, so my next best solution is attempting to extract everything from the internal hard drive. Easy for a tech to do ... unless that is why my computer died and it can no longer function. I've been through this before with older computers and when my Mac needed more storage space, so I'm fine with doing a transfer of my files. I'm just really scared it's the hard drive and I've lost my work. 

I am so emotionally and mentally devastated over losing it all and just the fear it's permanently gone, I can't bring myself to continue with Evie's story. 

I know I could work on what I remember. I know I still have a chance of getting it all back. Right now, my mind isn't in a good place. When I start to re-write or even try to start a new chapter I had planned, my mind shuts down and I start to cry. 

I'm so angry with myself for not backing up my files that entire week. I know it could have been worse. I could have lost all of Garson's story. No, by the way, I didn't! His WAS saved to my external hard drive. 

In fact, I am considering just posting his. I feel like losing Evie's story shut it all off for me creatively. I can't explain why but it just feels that way. Garson's story is truly so breathtaking in its depth and character development that it really would be okay without Evie's part. I just feel like it wouldn't be fair to Evie or the readers to leave her story untold. Also, I found unintentional parallels between their lives that would really be amazing for you to discover but would only see if I wrote Evie's part. 

I'll get through this. I know I just need some time. For the first time this morning, I felt an urgency to try again. I couldn't but at least the feeling was there. At least Part 1 doesn't end until the middle of next month. I have time. 

I'm supposed to be getting a refurbished Mac on Friday. I'll be bringing in my broken one Saturday to have the files extracted, if possible (please pray or meditate for me). I should know by this weekend how I'm going to have to proceed. 

If worse case scenario turns out I have to start from scratch, then I'll start from scratch. I'll find it in me somehow. 

~ Lady Lily 💜🐇🌸

PS: The photos you see me use for headers are my own. "Totem Photography" is my signature for my former plans at starting a photography business. I'm not really doing anything with my photos, so I may as well use them here.