SAMAEL

As rulers swooped in and fell with enormous thuds on the ground, the playing area quickly became crowded. I saw as they encircled Michael and loud whispering erupted through the air.

"What happened?", one of them was asking.

"We must inform father"

"Micheal?"

Michael wasn't looking at them. His eyes were fixed on his hands which were covered in ichor that wasn't his. Uriel was lying on the ground in front of him, his eyes closed and his body motionless. As I realized what had happened, fear rushed through my body and there was a slight ringing in my ears.

"This is your fault!", a voice said from inside my head, "you caused this!" 

I stumbled over to the throng and mumbled, "No," trailing off. I had to explain before... 

"Samael said...", a voice was saying as I got closer. It was Michael. As he spoke, his eyes started to water, and he turned to look at me. 

"I didn't want to", he said, "but he told me..."

"No", I said but no one heard me. Most of the rulers were glaring at me now and I cowered under their stares.

It wasn't my fault. It couldn't have been. I didn't force Michael to hurt Uriel, at least not to that degree. It was only a suggestion but even that was a mistake on its own and I should have known. It was wicked to harm another for any cause, and all angels were incapable of even pondering such a thought.

All but me. 

"You...", one of them started to walk towards me, "how could you?" 

I tried to speak, but nothing came out, so I did the only thing that came to mind. I decided to run. I spread my wings, whirled around, and leaped into the air. I wasn't sure where I was going, but anywhere would be preferable to those grounds. 

I made two wing flaps to soar higher into the air but was held down by a weight on my leg. Lowering my gaze, I saw that another one of the rulers had seized my leg and was now pulling me down to the ground.

"Please let me go!", I cried out loud but he didn't listen. He violently pulled me away from him and slammed me to the ground.

"Father!", I screamed in agony into the air but he didn't come. 

He didn't save me.

My eyes flickered open to the darkness. I blinked twice before sliding onto my back. I shuddered a little as the earth underneath me made touch with my body. Taking a deep breath, I sat up and glanced around.

"Hello Samael", the voice said.

"Leave me alone", I said.

I got to my feet and momentarily kicked something on the floor. As I lifted it, I scowled.  It was my torch, the only thing I had in the cave besides the clothes I wore and the sandals I didn't wear. My brother had given it to me as a gift to help me remember what light looked like.

As if I could ever forget.

I swiftly ran it against the wall, and a brilliant flame flashed on, illuminating the rest of the room. 

Sometimes, I hated seeing the light because it only reminded me of the things I missed.

"What are you thinking Samael?", the voice asked.

I frowned, "why are you asking?", I asked, "you should know. You are in my head after all"

"I like when you tell me," it said as I placed the torch into a holder on the wall.

I watched from where I was standing as the flame ringed the golden torch and sent smoke wisps rising to the top of the cage. It was lovely even if it hurt to touch. I reached out and placed my palm over the flame. As it scorched me, the core of my palm stinging, I withdrew.

"Are you ignoring me?", demanded the voice.

"You bothered my sleep", I replied. 

"Oh, but you can't sleep," It sneered amusingly, "angels don't sleep." 

"Now, you know what I mean", I said through clinched teeth, "and I am not an angel"

A loud cackle rang through my head and I rolled my eyes. The voice was light, high-pitched, and often sarcastic, yet the laugh it made sounded like an obnoxious shriek and instantly gave me a headache. 

As the laughter subsided, it sighed with satisfaction, "not an angel...", it repeated my words, "oh Samael, you're so funny"

I scoffed, "you have the worst sense of humor in the universe if you think that was funny"  

I started to circle the room, noting how many steps it took to reach each new corner. Depending on my walking speed and the space between each step, it had changed every day since I had been confined. Many things in my life were certain, but not how many steps I could take around the room each day. 

For one, I was a mistake. This was certain. I was the broken angel. I had been aware of who and what I was from the time of my creation. Because none of my brothers were like me, they were aware of it as well. They were formed and dipped in perfection, excellent and beautiful, and worthy enough to be looked upon by my father.

In contrast to my brothers, I had the capacity for both good and evil. My father never made mistakes but somehow, he had made me. Why? I had no idea. I was poisonous and flawed. My brothers feared that I could infect them with my thoughts and so I was left to rot in a dark room. Inside were no windows, and the entrance could only be opened from the outside, so I wasn't sure how long I had stayed there but I was always alone.

"What do you mean you've always been alone?", the voice asked in an offended tone.

It was right.

Only one of my brothers ever showed enough interest to visit. 

"I wasn't talking about him", the voice said and I was ready to reply in a snide manner when a noise from outside caught my attention. 

As the door to the room opened and a gentle voice cried out, "Samael?", my heart leaped as I stood there.  

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Lucifer!", I said with glee. I didn't want to sound so excited to see him, but I just couldn't help myself. From the expression on his face, I could tell he was astonished yet pleased by my reaction. 

Lucifer was one of my brothers. He was beautiful, with a fair, golden complexion and golden blonde hair. I wasn't surprised when he entered the room and immediately seemed to dominate it with his presence. He was, after all, my father's favorite son. 

He locked the door behind him and hurried over, pulling me in for a hug. 

"How are you?", he said into my shoulder. 

"I'm fine", I wrapped my arms around him, "it's been so long. I-"

I bit my bottom lip as my voice caught in my throat. It wasn't like me to get so emotional.

The voice said, "Oh, I believed he abandoned us, I was convinced he had forgotten we existed." 

As he released me, Lucifer softly said, "Oh, I'm sorry Samael, I've been so preoccupied with the praise event preparations." 

"Oh, OK," I said. "I ought to have known." 

"I missed you a lot," he said and I made an effort to smile.

I didn't tell him about my fears that he had abandoned me or that he had finally listened to the advice of our brothers and decided to stop coming to see me. I didn't tell him that I cried when I thought about it and felt incredibly alone without him. 

I didn't tell him any of that, because he was finally in front of me, so it didn't matter. 

Lucifer looked around the room with bright blue eyes as if it were his first time inside and when he saw that I had lit the torch, he smiled. I let my eyes rove over his features. He wore sandals that showed off his toes and a long, white robe that reached his ankles. 

"Well?", I said, continuing to take my steps, "tell me what's been happening"

He observed me, clearly perplexed by what I was doing, but he chose not to inquire. Rather, he said, "not much at all. We've been preparing but everybody is just worried because father has been gone for a long time now"

"What?", I paused, cocking my head, "father left?"

"Yes, and everyone thinks he won't come back in time for the event but I know he will," Lucifer responded with a forlorn expression, "he would never miss it"

"Hope he doesn't come back", the voice said but I ignored it.

"Oh", I said, "I'm sorry Lucifer, I know you must miss him" 

He nodded but said nothing more. Instead, he reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a box.

"What's that?", I asked.

He handed it to me, "I brought you some manna...", he said, "...for strength"

I stared at the box and then bowed to set it on the ground, "thank you but I don't need it"

"You should eat it still Samael", he said, "you're so weak for an angel and I know its because you don't eat like us"

I debated telling him I wasn't an angel, but ultimately decided against it. However, he was right about me eating. I could survive without food just fine, but because of my diet, I was probably the weakest creature in the heavens.

"You don't have to remind me", I said and he pouted.

"Please eat it", he begged, "for me?"

I glared at him and he almost appeared amused. With a low grumble, I grabbed the box before reclining to sit on the ground. Every time Lucifer came to visit, he made sure to bring some manna for me, but I always rejected it. Yet he always succeeded in persuading me. 

The manna melted on my tongue with such ease and tasted as sweet as honey. Lucifer and the rest of my brothers got to eat it all the time, and I couldn't help but feel envious of them. I wanted to take my time enjoying the flavors in each bite, but I was too hungry to do so. 

So much for hiding my desire to eat.

Lucifer studied me as I ate. I hated when he stared at me because I could never tell what he was thinking. Did he pity me? Was he becoming more aware of how different we were from each other? Was he growing more conscious of our differences from one another? Was I ugly? I had no idea. It had been a long time since I saw my reflection, but I was confident that I was nothing in comparison to him and the others. 

"Samael", he said, "what do you think about coming to the praise event?"

I nearly choked on the manna. 

"No," I said.

"I'm going to ask father"

"He's going to say no"

"You don't know that"

"You've asked him if I could come out thousands of times Lucifer", I said, "and he's said no every single time"

"Yes, but this is different. The praise event is attended by all angels, and you are one of us." 

I scowled and said, "I'm not an angel." 

"Samael..." 

"Nobody wants me there so just forget it okay?", I said in a stern voice. Although I saw Lucifer quiver, I was unconcerned. I was determined not to be too keen on getting out of the room. It had not happened since the day Uriel was injured and I didn't believe that would somehow change now. I was grateful that Lucifer was even permitted to come to see me.  

"I'm still going to try", he said under his breath, "because I want you there"

I didn't tell him that I wanted to be there too, not because I cared about our father or seeing the rest of the angels but because I wanted to hear him perform with his instruments and sing in front of everyone. 

I didn't tell him any of that. Instead, I continued to eat the manna.

"It won't sound as good without my harp but I wrote a new song, do you want me to sing it?" he asked.

With my mouth full, I looked up and nodded eagerly. 

He stepped in front of me and cleared his throat before dramatically flipping his hair. I smiled as he began to sing because when Lucifer sang, the voice in my head was eerily silent.