Content warning:
In this chapter, the main character is seeking treatment for a forced claim bite. His mental and physical condition and some of the treatment he receives are analogous to the experience a person might have after a sexual assault or an experience with intimate partner violence in our world.
Reading this chapter may be triggering for people who have a sensitivity to discussion of sexual assaults or intimate partner violence or people who suffer from panic disorders. Please read with caution.
The Anastasia Anderson Clinic
Johns Hopkins, Department of Endocrinology
Baltimore, Maryland.
Day 8.
Gabriel Cooper sat on the edge of a vinyl-cushioned chair, looking around at the waiting room. It was painted in a soothing blue, with soothing art prints on the wall and soothing music playing softly through the speakers. He was not soothed. He was the only one in the waiting room, which was both a blessing and a curse. No one to see him in this state, but no one to distract him from thinking about how he ended up in this state, either. His fingers were laced together in front of him, elbows balanced on his knees, the left one of which was bouncing nervously up and down. A door opened across from him and the nurse checked her tablet and called out “Mr. Cooper?” Gabriel looked around and then felt like an idiot. Who else did he think she was talking to?
He stood.
“Right through here, please. We just need to get your weight and height, and I’ll take your vitals, and then Dr. Caris will be in to check on you. I’m Teneisha, do you remember me from last week? Is it alright if I call you Gabriel?”
Gabriel looked at her. Apple cheeks, laugh lines, freckles, long salt-and-pepper box braids. She looked...kind. “Yes ma’am. Thank you,” he said, and then wondered why he had thanked her.
Teneisha studied her patient appraisingly. His gorgeous auburn curls hung limply, as if they needed a wash, just brushing the tops of his shoulders. His skin was pale and there were shadows under those big green eyes with their long lashes. Why do males always get those to-die-for lashes? Gabriel Cooper's lips were pale, a little dry, and pressed together tightly as if he were bracing himself for something, which, undoubtedly, he was. His slender shoulders were hunched in the tattered cowl-neck sweater he was wearing and his strategically ripped skinny jeans hung a little loose on his hips. Probably hasn’t been eating much. At least the shell-shocked look had faded a bit since she’d seen him last. It was hardly the first time she’d seen an Omega in this condition, but it never failed to break her heart. She thought about her beautiful Beta daughter and once more raised a prayer of gratitude that this, at least, was one thing she didn’t have to worry about.
“You look a little better today. How are you feeling?” Teneisha gestured for him to step onto the scale and then made a note of the number on the read-out in her tablet.
“I’ve been nauseous. And I can’t scent anyone, but Dr. Caris told me that would happen.”
“That’s right, baby. And it’s temporary, which I’m sure she told you, too. Both things are normal side-effects of the claim reversal protocol. We’ll get you some medication to help with the nausea. You’ve lost a little over four pounds since your first visit. I know you may not feel like eating, but you need to keep your strength up. This is going to be a bit of a marathon. You’ve been on meds for a full week now, so your levels should be about where they’ll remain for the rest of the course–-it’s not going to get any worse. Nothing else? Just the nausea and the anosmia?”
“I’m tired. But I haven’t been sleeping well, so that’s probably all it is.”
“That’s good, sugar, if that’s all that’s going on. Sounds like you’re tolerating the treatment very well, and that’s what we want. Okay, we’re down here, second door on the right. Just climb up on the examination table for me.”
Gabriel complied.
“I’m going to get you to take off your shirt–you can leave your boots and jeans on– and put on this exam gown. Do you want me to step out?”
“You can stay, it’s fine.” Gabriel pulled off his sweater and folded it, then shook out the paper top. “Opening in the front or the back?”
“The back, baby. So, Dr. Caris will be in here in a moment, and she’ll introduce you to Dr. Anderson. Dr. Anderson is a wonderful doctor and he is always extremely respectful of his patients, but he is an Alphan male, I want you to know that beforehand, because I know that can be difficult. He has helped dozens of Omegas who’ve been through forced claims, and I trust him completely. You can ask him anything at all, he won’t mind, and we deliberately scheduled you as our last patient for today, so there’s plenty of time to talk. Dr. Caris and I will both stay in the room with you the whole time. Will that be alright?”
Gabriel nodded numbly, but shivered in the papery exam gown. His pulse ratcheted up and a cold trickle of sweat ran down his back. The edges of the room wavered a little in his vision and he felt cold, and hollow. He took deep breaths, trying to fight off the dread that was creeping through him.
Teneisha wheeled a vital signs monitor over to him. “Okay, open up for the thermometer for me.” Gabriel obeyed and closed his mouth over it, trying to ignore the sharp plastic edge of the thermometer sleeve cutting into the underside of his tongue.
“Now hold out your finger for me.” He did, and she clipped the pulse oximeter onto it
“I’m ready to put the blood pressure cuff on now, I’ll just be touching your upper right arm. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine” Gabriel mumbled, breathing as she lifted his arm and wrapped it, closing the velcro cuff with a little crunch, then turned on the machine.
In the end, it wasn’t the nurse’s chatter or the thought of the Alpha doctor or even his exposed back… it was the squeezing of the inflating blood pressure cuff that did it. It felt too much like that rough hand on his arm, holding his arm behind him, shoving his face into the fake leather ottoman. The blood drained from his face. He compulsively spat out the thermometer and jerked the clip off his finger without even intending to, struggling to breathe, shoulders climbing, gasping. The world was compressing into a tunnel around him.
“Uh-oh,” he heard Teneisha intone with concern. As if from a distance he heard her voice, muffled. “Gabriel? Gabriel, baby, it’s okay.” She quickly ripped the cuff from his arm. “Gabriel, I think you’re having a little panic attack. You’re safe, try to breathe. I know it’s scary, but it won’t hurt you. Nobody’s going to hurt you. You’re safe. I’m right here with you. It’s going to pass, I’m going to wait with you. Try to take a breath for me.”
“I’m going to be sick,” Gabriel panted.
Like lightning, Teneisha whipped a small garbage can away from the wall behind her and held it in place for him. He retched into it, his body expelling the next-to-nothing he had eaten all day. Tears streamed from his eyes as painful spasms wracked his abdomen. He was mortified, and sick, and so, so tired of all of it. Leaning his forearms on the edges of the can, he sobbed and heaved.
“I’m so sorry,” he managed when the dry heaves finally eased and he could breathe again. The panic attack was slowly receding. "Think of five things that you can see. Think of four things that you can touch. Think of three things that you can hear," he murmured to himself.
“Shhh, baby. It’s fine, you’re fine. You’re all sweaty and you’ve got hair all stuck to your face. Can I pull this gorgeous head of hair back for you?”
Gabriel nodded weakly. “Just please, don’t touch my… he gestured with one hand to his neck and upper back. I just can’t… I’m weird about it now… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I threw up,” he repeated, “I’m so embarrassed.”
Teneisha sucked her teeth dismissively, smoothing the hair off of his sweaty forehead, pulling it away from his face, and deftly knotting it behind his head with a hairband she produced out of nowhere. “Gabriel, baby, I am a registered nurse. This is my job. I’ve been doing this for almost thirty years, and I have seen and smelled everything a body can do. This is nothing. You go ahead and be sick. You’ve got all kinds of hormones and meds running through you and you’ve been through something hard. You’re doing wonderfully. You don’t apologize to me or anyone else, and don’t you be embarrassed. You are a survivor. We’re gonna get you through this, you hear me? This is as bad as it gets– it’s all up from here.”
Leaving Gabriel in possession of the little plastic trash can, Teneisha went to the sink, dampened a paper towel with cold water, and handed it to him. “Here, wipe your face with this. It’ll make you feel a little better. Come on, now.”
The exhausted Omega took the cool towel, wiped at his sweaty forehead and cheeks. The coolness would make him feel slightly more anchored in his own body.
“I’m gonna hold your hand for a second, would that be okay?” Teneisha asked.
Gabriel nodded. Teneisha's brusque manner was calming, it was like she knew how everything worked just when he had forgotten how anything worked. When she took his cold hand in her warm and pillowy grasp and squeezed it lightly, she infused him with a little of her strength.
“Believe me, Gabriel," she said in her motherly, certain-almost-to-the-point-of-sternness voice. Gabriel soaked it in. He needed to believe her, and he was starting to. Teneisha continued, "A lot of Omegas have sat on this table with me, far too many, and I have seen them in a lot of pain and a lot of fear, but I have also seen them heal up and move on. And you got here so quickly, you are already miles ahead of so many of them– there’s no question you’re gonna get better. Dr. Caris and Dr. Anderson are going to fix you right up, alright, baby? Did you talk to the psychologist already?”
He nodded. “Yes ma’am. I’ll be doing therapy twice a week. My first appointment is tomorrow.”
“That’s excellent.” Teneisha gave his hand an approving squeeze. “That’s really important, too. It’s gonna help you a ton. Do you need the trash can anymore?”
Gabriel shook his head, half-smiling as he shrugged. “I don’t think there’s anything left.” Teneisha knotted the bag and took it out of the room, returning with a fresh plastic liner.
“Well, I’ll keep it ready for you over here, just in case. That you had nothing in you to chunk up is part of the problem. You need some food in your system with these meds, and besides that, low blood sugar is notorious for making panic attacks worse. If you're not eating, you're probably not drinking, either, and that'll dehydrate you and make you feel bad. The suppressants messing with your hormones don’t help with any of that, either, but they’re a necessary evil. Here.” She held out a little paper cup. “Here’s a little cup of water, come on over here to the sink and rinse your mouth out.”
Gabriel slid down to the floor and obediently went to the sink to rinse his mouth. Teneisha remained next to him, one hand hovering next to his arm, ready to catch him if he went down. She ushered him back to the exam table and he climbed up. “That’s better. Now, take this sucker. It’s nice and sour and it’ll help the nausea.” She produced a lollipop from the pocket of her colorful scrub top and held it out for him. “Now look at me. Look in my eyes and promise me you are going to eat three times a day while you are on these meds.”
Gabriel looked into her stern, concerned eyes and promised, unwrapping the sour apple lollipop and sticking it in his mouth just for something to do and so he wouldn’t hurt Teneisha’s feelings. To his surprise, the blend of sweetness and sourness was pleasant even though he had no appetite, and as he sucked on it, his stomach settled a little.
Teneisha nodded approvingly. “Alright, that’s better. I’m going to go tell Dr. Caris you’re ready for her so we can get you seen and scheduled and get you on out of here so you can eat and get some rest. But before I go, do you have anyone staying with you right now? I didn’t see anyone in the waiting room.”
“No, I didn’t want to tell anyone… until I knew something. Until I knew what would happen.”
“Are you close to your family? To your mama?”
Gabriel nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You better go on and call them when you leave here. A forced claim is nothing to deal with on your own, and now is the time for them to be here beside you. That’s what family is for. Your therapist is going to tell you the same thing. If you were mine, I’d want to know, and I’d want to be with you. You promise me that, too. And look at me so I can tell you’re not shining me on.”
“I’ll call him. As soon as I get home. Thank you. I’m sorry for...”
“What did I tell you about apologizing? And you can thank me when it’s all over and you’re feeling like yourself again. Now, you’re going to lie back on this exam table for me and work on that sucker, and I’m going to put something under your feet to get the blood going in the right direction. Do you need a blanket? No? Alright then, I’m going to step out for just a bit. Just lie here and rest.”
Teneisha closed the door behind her and leaned against it silently for a second, gathering her thoughts. She walked over to the nurse’s desk, picked up the phone, and punched a button.
“Susan, Gabriel Cooper is ready for you, but come see me for a minute before we head in. Bring Alexander with you. I want to get you both up to date.”
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