Ethan sat on his bed and glumly threw bits of blu tack into the bin, his mind just kept going over the fight between Lucy, Justin and himself. The look on Jake's face threatened to rip his heart to shreds but it was etched into his mind, he took a deep breath and looked around his room. The furniture had arrived today so Ethan's mum had redecorated his room and surprisingly he didn't hate it. His wooden desk sat by the window and his bed against the far wall, he didn't read so much anymore but there was an entire wall of his walk-in robe dedicated to his books. There was a muffled thump, Lucy he guessed was still annoyed, she had been banging things since they had gotten back.
Ethan sighed and flicked through the music on his phone, he laid down and stared at the ceiling. He spent several hours just thinking while listening to music, he was hungry but he chose not to eat knowing it would just be comfort food. He felt horrible about what had happened at school even though he knew deep down he hadn't done or said anything bad. The thought of heading back to school the next day filled him with anxiety, would Jake even give him the chance to sort things out? He really hoped so, it was silly but it was hurting him not being around Jake. How did my life change so much so quickly? He thought.
He vowed to make it up to Jake the first chance he could and eventually he fell asleep. His dreams struck viciously at him, Justin attacking him, Jake not forgiving him and Lucy finding out his secret.
Just like that he snapped awake, he felt sweaty, his fears had gotten to him in the worst possible way. His door opened and Lucy poked her head in,
"Oi, time to get up lazy"
"Why," he asked, "I don't want dinner, I'm not hungry",
Lucy laughed, "You slept through dinner, it is breakfast time, hurry up" She shook her head and closed the door.
Ethan sighed, stretching as he stood up. He hurried to the shower, scrubbed himself quickly this time with soap, and then got dressed in of course, black again. He raced into the kitchen and Lucy threw him two Nutella sandwiches badly wrapped in cling wrap.
"Eat on the way, we have to go," Lucy said,
She grabbed her car keys and rushed outside; Ethan shrugged and ran after her jumping in the car. He hadn't even closed the door when Lucy slammed the car into reverse and the car tyres squealed as she sped down the driveway and turned in the direction of the school. Ethan checked his phone, and stared at it for a second, they still had ten minutes till the first session but the school was only minutes away.
"Lucy, why are you in such a rush?"
She glanced over at him then pulled over to the side of the road, "I want to talk to you about yest-"
"I'm fine" he interrupted,
"You can't let those kinds of people bother you Ethan,"
Ethan scowled, "What do you mean by those kinds of people?"
Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, "You know what I mean Ethan"
Ethan bit back a retort and tried to smile "I'll be fine Lucy, It isn't a big deal."
"It is Ethan, That guy wanted to fight you."
Ethan opened the car door and got out "Thanks Lucy, I'll walk the rest of the way"
Lucy said something but Ethan blocked her out and started walking, it only took him about a minute to reach the school but with every step the urge to run home became stronger. Finally, he reached the school gates and the feeling vanished, replaced by an odd determination.
He caught himself looking for Jake as he stepped onto the school grounds but something occurred to him, he checked his phone then ran into the English block. They've gotta be here he told himself as he ran through the hallway checking the classrooms until finally, he saw them.
"What do you want Ethan?" Jacie snapped as he skidded to a halt in front of her and Nate. Ethan flinched, all traces of the friendliness she'd shown yesterday had vanished from both her voice and face.
When Ethan did not say anything, Nate raised an eyebrow impatiently,
"Well? We don't have all day so if you have something to say you'd better say it now because we don't generally speak to homophobes," he said coldly
Ethan gave himself a moment longer to gather his thoughts "Please hear me out," he begged them "The argument yesterday with Justin, it didn't go down the way Jake thought it did." Ethan said desperately,
Nate blinked but gave no other indication that he had finished listening so Ethan continued,
"Justin came over and was all angry at me for being in his spot and he threatened me when I didn't move and told him Jake had brought me. Lucy heard him and came to defend me but she is homophobic so she said some pretty horrible things. I do not feel the same way as Lucy but Jake heard what she said and assumed I felt the same way and did not even give me a chance to explain. I didn't think he'd believe me anyway so I didn't try and I feel so bad and all I want is to have friends but I don't know-how. I haven't had a real friend before, please help me." He finished taking a deep breath,
"Why should we believe you?" they said together
"Why would I lie, you guys saw how I was when I first met you guys yesterday, do I really seem like the kind of person to be so hateful?"
"That's not fair you can't answer a question with another question," Nate complained
Ethan shrugged "All's fair in schoolyard arguments" He paused thoughtfully "Isn't it?"
Nate pursed his lips "You're gonna have to do something to prove yourself"
"Anything." Ethan agreed "Just tell me how"
Nate chewed his lip thoughtfully, Jacie shot him a glance then nodded, "Do you have a secret?" Nate asked.
Ethan looked at them nervously "You guys know, don't you?" he asked
Nate smiled mischievously but motioned for him to continue,
Ethan sighed, "I'll tell you something I haven't told anyone, I think you already know but if I say this out loud you have to promise to keep it a secret, even from Jake"
"We promise," they said together then waited silently; reassured, Ethan took a nervous deep breath
"I'm gay", he stood there nervously for a second and then frowned "I don't feel any different" To Ethan's complete shock, Nate grinned and pumped a fist in the air while Jacie groaned and shook her head,
"You owe me fifty bucks," Nate said happily, he started a victory dance which appeared to involve him stirring a pot and singing about being right.
Jacie glared at him then jabbed him hard in the ribs, Nate winced and rubbed around his ribs gingerly,
Ethan panicked "You guys seriously knew?" he whispered anxiously
Nate winked and Ethan looked uncomfortable, Nate started to say something to reassure him that other people probably hadn't figured it out
"Knew what?" Jake interrupted cutting Nate off as he stepped between them and glared at Ethan.
The twins looked at Ethan but he was frozen on the spot staring at Jake and not appearing to have heard the question.
Jacie nudged Nate and they shared a look "Just that there was more to what you heard yesterday and that he doesn't share his sister Lucy's opinion." he explained.
Jake looked at Nate then back to Ethan "Explain the whole story then Ethan" he challenged.
Ethan blinked, his thoughts were a mess, he had planned to give a perfect explanation that covered every detail but now that Jake was in front of him and seeing those eyes so full of doubt and a hurt expression on his face, he had no idea what to say.
"Maybe start from the beginning" Jacie suggested,
Ethan nodded slowly and took a shaky breath, the fate of his friendship rested entirely on this explanation,
Comments (0)
See all