“Infinite Forest: Day 17
“I should’ve listened to the warnings from the locals. Turns out the Infinite Forest is actually infinite. Who would’ve thought? I should’ve listened, I should’ve listened – but it all seemed so…so unlikely, so weird and wrong and strange. First rule, never go unprepared. Well, nothing could’ve prepared me for this, nothing at all. Absolutely nothing. Never saw it coming…and now I’m running, running from the truth. Nice bit of song for you there – walking really clears the mind, silence clears the mind, this broad empty absence clears the mind of all but the longing for home.
“‘Remember where you came from.’ That’s what the elder said. I tried, I really did, but it all looks the same…and now I don’t remember at all. I’m just walking. I just want to go home, home to Alys and Jessie and our cosy little house.
“Ai Talyugaachi, the Infinite Forest… I heard the warnings, should’ve listened, but doubted. Or perhaps I didn’t entirely doubt, held space for it to be a truth – and came in anyway. Because what had I left to lose?
“A lot.
“You don’t realise what you have until you lose it. Sense of direction – certainly took that for granted – gear – a comfort, torn to shreds like my hope of escape – supplies. There’s enough here, more than enough, to live on, but finding water’s hard. I should just stay by a stream, but the drive to escape is still strong, and I’m not resigning myself to life as a permanent hermit just yet. My life, eventually, will be another thing I lose…though perhaps my sanity first. I can already feel it, slowly slipping away…sooner than I expected, but then I also expected to be out by now, on Day 1. Or Day 2. Or Day 3. Every day I expect, still, somehow, to see the sun through the treeline, and hear a human’s friendly chatter. But still I walk in shadows, still the only voice I hear is my own.”
“Day 38
“Still keeping count. That’s good. I may be a day or two out, who knows. Not me at this stage, and it’s not like there’s anyone around to ask, is there?
“My feet hurt. My ankles hurt. My legs. Knees too. It’s been getting worse, and is honestly rather worrying. It keeps on like this, I won’t be able to walk. No walk, no escape. A simple equation. No escape, no life. Oh, how I wait in expectation!
“My voice is no longer the only voice I hear. It might be a bird, might be my mind playing tricks…but someone, something, is begging me to stay. Tiny voice, barely whispered, at the edge of my hearing. ‘Please stay, please stay.’ Pleeease sssstaaaay, I get it. You want me here. Well you know what I say to that. No. I will not stay, I will escape, it must be soon, I know it, I feel it. Just keep walking, just keep-”
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
“NO!” Birds shatter out of the trees as I fall to my knees. “Hands over ears. Block it out. Block. It. Out. I will not stay, I will not stay. I WILL. NOT. STAY.”
Day…55? Maybe?
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
I no longer hurt. The pain had spread like wildfire, burning all that it touched, until my legs gave way and I collapsed. I must’ve passed out because when I opened my eyes, it was night, and I was parched. I licked moisture off the leaves that surrounded me, desperately, desperately, and struggled to my feet. To carry on.
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
I’m losing track of how long I’ve been here, I have no hope for the future, because I know I don’t have one. This forest takes time, and bends it into an everlasting loop of now. Now is all that matters, now is all there is. Just part of the magic, I guess.
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
It’s gotten easier to find water. I don’t know how. Maybe I’m learning, adapting to my new environment. Maybe.
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
The trees whisper in my ears, they want me to stay. I can’t or I’ll die. I know this. I’ll die. Must keep going, I must…keep…going…
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
This forest…it devours your soul, unmakes you. Don’t stay.
“Please stay. Please. Stay. Pleassssstay.”
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