Ethan flung the front door open and practically stumbled inside to escape the rain and rubbed his eyes. He shook off as much water as he could and rubbed his eyes again, his day had been extremely emotionally draining, when he thought about it, it seemed more to be ever since he moved to Ravera his life had been emotionally draining The new school, being slapped in the face by his feelings for Jake, and everything else that had happened, he was weary and beginning to struggle. He wasn't proud of what he'd done today, it wasn't up to him to show Jake what a bad person Justin was and it certainly wasn't his job to break them up. The twins had noticed he felt that way and reassured him that Jake would be better off now but it hadn't made him feel any better.
He walked into the kitchen and dropped heavily onto a stool, he flailed a little as it wobbled and he nearly fell off. He took an apple and went to walk upstairs then he stopped, wondering if he'd closed the front door so he headed back to check.
His eyes widened in surprise when he found Jake standing on the doorstep.
"Jake?" Ethan stepped forward "What, um, What are you doing here?"
Jake looked up and Ethan could see he'd been crying "Hey," Jake said heavily "Are you busy?"
Ethan shook his head "Do you want to come in?"
Jake shrugged "Can we go for a walk? I know this old park on the edge of the forest, it's so peaceful there."
Ethan smiled as he grabbed an umbrella from the stand in the hallway "Lead the way" he said softly
Ethan had expected it to be a shorter walk but he found himself following Jake to the other side of Ravera, he kept quiet on the walk and allowed Jake to decide whether he wanted to talk or not while he dutifully held an umbrella over them. Finally, they stepped through the trees into a small clearing; there were two swings and a wooden house, they both wiped the water off the seats and sat on a swing and swung gently.
"Are you sure you're ok Jake?" Ethan asked gently
"I don't know," he whispered, "I never thought it would end like this and I always thought it would be him leaving me because I wasn't good enough."
Ethan blinked "Why wouldn't you be good enough? He didn't deserve you Jake."
"This is where we had our first date. He brought me here with a picnic blanket and enough subway to feed a small army" he smiled sadly,
Ethan winced and looked around, even with the grey sky and the rain, it still looked calm "It is really nice here; I can see why he picked this place for the date."
Jake started to swing higher "Yeah" he whispered
Tears started to stream down his face mixing with the rain and seeping into his already soaked shirt, he gouged his feet in the ground to bring himself to a stop and sat there for a moment then broke down. His body shook as he forced himself to cry silently; Ethan hesitated, hurried over then stood next to Jake and put his hand on his shoulder. Jake sobbed harder but then stood and put his arms around Ethan and hugged him tightly as he cried into his shoulder. Ethan's brain turned to mush and his heart did backflips, but it wasn't the time and he knew it and even as he thought it, his mind recovered and he put his arms around Jake and did his best to comfort him
"It's okay Jake," he said quietly "You are strong enough for this, you deserve better"
They stayed like that for a long time, Jake sobbed and Ethan rocked him gently. Eventually, the sobs stopped and they stood quietly, Ethan blushed as Jake removed his arms. Ethan stepped back wanting to give Jake his space and waited.
Jake finally looked over at him "Thank you for coming with me, I'm sorry that I let my feelings get the best of me and you had to see me like that"
Ethan shook his head "It's fine, everyone cries" He scratched his head "I think it's good for you anyway, I read somewhere that it helps." he explained feeling stupid
Jake nodded and they started the walk back into town. Ethan started talking to try and keep Jake's mind busy, he spoke about movies he knew they both liked and games he'd like to play with him. Jake listened, feeling grateful that he didn't have to speak and knowing that Ethan didn't expect him to. Finally, they reached the corner of Jake's street, the rain had stopped but they were both soaked still.
"Oh god," Jake said anxiously "my parents can't see me like this, how am I going to hide this?"
Ethan looked at him sadly "Why do you need to?" He shrugged "I get that you don't want to worry them but wouldn't it be nice to talk to them about it?"
Tears welled up in Jake's eyes again "I don't know" he whispered as tears started to spill over again.
Ethan hesitated then wiped them away, "From what you have the twins have said about your parents they sound like good people, don't hide it from them. I don't want you to go through this on your own but if you really don't want them to know yet, you can call me" Ethan assured him.
Jake looked at him strangely and Ethan realised his hand was still resting on Jake's cheek and he quickly dropped it to his side.
"Sorry," he said awkwardly and to his amazement and despite everything Jake gave a small laugh and shook his head,
"You really are a nice guy Ethan," Jake told him,
Their eyes met, the green meeting the brown, Ethan felt a pang of longing but looked away, Jake had been through too much, it wasn't the right time.
"Well," he said as he took a step back, "I should go but I'll see you at school"
Jake nodded "I was going to wait till the last day of term but we only have two weeks left, did you want to hang out over the holidays?"
Ethan nodded "I'd like that" He started to walk away then stopped again "Jake." he called,
Jake turned around "Yeah?"
Ethan shifted his feet feeling embarrassed "This might sound stupid, but on the day we met, How'd you know my name?"
Jake smiled "Mrs Bryoney asked me to welcome you when she found out we were getting a new student so I had your name written down"
Ethan facepalmed "I knew it would be something logical but I didn't think of that at all!" Jake smiled and they waved as Ethan headed home feeling much better than he had in a long time.
The final couple weeks of term sped past and Ethan was shocked at how quickly he had finished his first term even though of course he'd missed a few weeks towards the end and started nearly halfway through the term. He had spent most afternoons of those weeks with Jake and the twins talking and watching movies or out walking the streets. Ethan always made sure he walked them home, things were better for him now than they ever had been. He had many conversations with them outside of Jake's house waiting for the last moment before his curfew, even though they spent some time alone when waiting for the twins they did not hug again.
On Saturday and Sunday mornings they all met at Get Buzzed which was the Cafe Ethan had visited on his first day of school, they always ordered the same drinks and Ethan got his mocha every time, the nice lady that worked there had to Ethan's delight kept her word and ordered in the hazelnut syrup. The twins both to Jake and Ethan's disgust drank Long Blacks without any sugar while Jake without fail ordered iced chocolate with extra whipped cream. Ethan laughed as he got ready, it was nine-thirty so he still had half an hour before he had to be at the cafe. If the twins had their way they'd have arrived at eight but Jake was a late sleeper and refused to wake up before nine, it didn't bother Ethan in the slightest and he was just happy to spend time with them. He was dressed in all black as usual apart from one slight change, he was wearing a new shirt which was still black but the collar was a really dark blue. It wouldn't seem like a big deal to anyone else but Ethan seldom wore any colour at all, he'd never worn any colours outside of his room since he'd moved to Ravera and he couldn't help feeling a little nervous.
Ignoring his body he used the mirror to focus on the collar, it was discreet and there would need to be a lot of sunlight to make it visible.
Jean knocked gently and walked in, "You look nice," she told him "Are you going to have coffee with your friends again?"
Ethan nodded "Yeah, it's meant to be a nice day today so we figured we'd take advantage of it," he told her and moved to walk past her.
"Hold up," she said sticking out an arm, she peered closely at his shirt "Are you wearing blue?"
Ethan's eyes widened in panic "You can tell?" He hurried back over to the mirror "It's meant to be hard to see" he said anxiously inspecting it.
Realising her mistake Jean walked over and put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "It isn't obvious, I just noticed because I've spent the last ten years since we let you pick your wardrobe seeing you always wear black"
Ethan looked at her "Not always," and she nodded in agreement then checked her watch,
"You'd better go or you will be late."
He nodded and hurried downstairs, as he passed his father's office he heard the draws on the desk slam shut but he didn't stop to talk to him and instead kept going. His father wasn't going to share whatever his job was and Ethan had given up trying to figure it out, he knew it was important but he knew he wouldn't find out the details. He made good time and arrived just as the twins sat down,
"Where's Jake?" he asked as he slid into his chair,
Nate and Jacie laughed "He was still getting ready when we knocked, he said he wouldn't be long though"
Ethan smiled, Jake had yet to arrive earlier than anyone else and had been last to order each time, "Let's just wait for him," he told the twins, they exchanged a look and Nate excused himself to go to the bathroom.
Ethan raised an eyebrow at Jacie who was left at the table watching him, "What?" he asked her,
She sighed "We know you like Jake,"
Ethan nearly fell off his chair in surprise "I do not like Jake, he's just a friend" he insisted
Jacie laughed "You're a liar" she teased,
Ethan rolled his eyes "Even if I did, I can't tell him anyway so just let it go"
Jacie went to say something, "Please," he asked her,
She frowned thoughtfully then nodded and as if on cue Nate emerged from the bathroom and sat down, the twins exchanged another look and Jacie shook her head.
Nate rolled his eyes "You're both idiots" he told Ethan who simply shrugged refusing to say anything else on the topic.
A few minutes later Jake showed up and sat down opposite Ethan "Hey guys, sorry I was late I-"
"Overslept," everyone said, finishing his sentence.
He smirked "No need to rub it in"
The lady that had served Ethan on his first day walked over, "Hey if it isn't my favourite little gathering!"
They all smiled "Hey Jacinta," They said together,
"The usual I assume?"
Everyone nodded and Jake added, "Can I please get-"
"Extra whipped cream?" Jacinta finished for him and smiled kindly. Jacinta was in her forties, with red-brown hair and kind oval-shaped eyes. Her hair was tied back in a bun with several pens sticking out of it. She was skinny but gave off a motherly vibe that the four of them adored, the twins particularly liked her and Ethan knew they regularly stopped in on their way to school or since the holidays started on their way to his house.
Jake sagged slightly in embarrassment and nodded, the twins smiled in amusement noticing the adoring look on Ethan's face,
"Sure, I'll bring those and a muffin for you each as soon as they are ready"
They thanked her and she hurried back behind the counter, Jake looked around at the others,
"So what are we doing today?" he asked eagerly and as usual everyone turned to Ethan who frowned at them,
"Why is it up to me?"
"Because you always know how to make things more fun" Jake told him
Ethan pretended to glare "I am not fun,"
The twins watched in amusement as Ethan and Jake became stuck in a staring contest, to anyone watching it may have looked like a fight was about to break out from the glares on their faces but the twins could see them trying not to grin. Their competition ended in a tie when Jacinta showed up with their coffees,
"Today's muffins are Choc Honeycomb with a strawberry swirl"
She placed a plate in front of each person along with their coffees and Ethan shook his head in amazement, it never failed to surprise him how Jacinta managed to balance and carry so many things with ease.
They thanked her again and she smiled before walking back to the counter where a customer was waiting.
"So what are we doing today Ethan?" Jake asked with a cheeky grin,
"Eat your muffin," Ethan told him but he was smiling
They finished their food while chatting and then the twins stood "We'll pay this time Ethan"
Ethan drained his cup and stood "You absolutely will not"
Nate looked at Jake "Distract him" he said and then Jacie dragged him as she hurried away,
"Get back here," Ethan told them after hesitating, wondering what they'd meant by a distraction
"Gotcha!" Jake yelled as he trapped Ethan in a hug. Ethan's body betrayed him and he melted in Jake's arms and they stood like that for a moment. Then Ethan's mind raced, what if someone saw him, or what if Lucy saw him and told their father. He pulled away from the hug but Jake held on tight,
"Let," Ethan struggled, feeling the warmth between them and his heart and mind running in opposite directions, he felt the panic rising "Let go Jake"
Jake laughed but didn't let go and instead held him tighter as he waited for the all-clear from Nate.
Ethan tried to pull away again, the panic becoming intolerable and fear shaking his core.
"LET GO!" he yelled and pushed Jake away but he instantly regretted it. Jake hadn't been expecting it and fell back against the table, Ethan forgot his fears and grabbed Jake's hand to help him up. Jake stared at him with tears in his eyes and Ethan swore,
"I'm so sorry Jake, I just freaked out, I wasn't thinking of you and I didn't mean to hurt you I just"
Jake smiled and wiped his eyes "It isn't a big deal" he promised putting a hand on Ethan's shoulder "You were worried that someone would see and Lucy would find out or something like that weren't you?
Ethan nodded "How could you possibly know that?"
Jake smiled, "I know straight guys that have been accused of being gay before, I get that you don't want that to happen to you. I'm sorry I shouldn't have invaded your personal space like that, especially not in public."
Ethan opened his mouth but no sound came out, he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Jake how much he adored him and that he loved hugging him and that he would spend all day just with him, he wanted to hold him and kiss him but he didn't say it. Instead, he cleared his throat and thanked him for understanding, ignoring the screams of protest from his heart. After the twins returned they walked around Ravera for most of the day, while they were friendly to each other the twins could see something had happened between them and Jacie vowed to speak to Jake about it later.
Usually, they hung around until dark but this time Ethan left early, it was the first time he hadn't walked Jake and the twins home since he'd started hanging with them and he hated it.
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