I guess I had expected Kenric to oversee my decisions, to ensure I didn't make some kind of staffing mistake, or pick someone who was too important. But, he didn't even come into the room when we arrived downstairs.
He motioned through the doorway, where a line of maids had gathered, and immediately headed off with a dismissive:
"Pick whoever you want, and send the rest back to work."
"Thank you, Kenric," I said.
I saw him pause for the briefest of moments, but he said nothing else before disappearing around the corner.
Now, to the task at hand.
I crossed my arms and examined the handful of maids who'd been chosen for the unfortunate lottery of being my personal maid. A majority of them I recognised from this morning, which I thought was in bad taste. A couple were complete strangers, but were giving me the same look of disdain as the rest.
I knew I should try to be strategic about who I let hang around me. I should pick a strong ally who could help me navigate the dangers of living in a house where everyone hated me. That's what always happened in these sorts of stories.
In the novel Lily picked a maid at random, and because of her charm and beauty, that maid became her strongest ally in the house. But, what was the name of Lily's maid? What did she look like? I couldn't remember.
And besides...I highly doubted that I would be able to win someone to my side with charm or beauty, lacking both in equal amounts, so I decided to go for a different tactic.
In the lineup, I pointed to the freckled maid with the long braid, who had grabbed me earlier that morning. She flinched, but had the good grace not to stare up in abject horror.
"What's your name?"
"Margo, Miss."
"Margo," I repeated.
"Yes, Miss."
Did that name ring a bell? Nothing helpful from the novel was coming to me.
"Okay, Margo. Will you please be my maid?"
Finally, she did look up, with a confused frown. And then at the others, who were exchanging similarly confused glances.
Since I'd phrased it as a question, she clearly wanted to decline, but was probably worried that a 'wrong' answer would be punished. I could almost see the cogs spinning in her head, trying to figure out if it was a trick. She was clearly smart, so I gave her a hand.
"It's not," I clarified, "a trick question. If you don't want to do it, I'll ask someone else. And if no one wants to do it, you can all go back to your normal duties."
She stared me down with lips pressed into a line, and distrustful eyes. I couldn't blame her, since I'd thrown her across the room only this morning. There was also the unspoken wall between our statuses that I was flagrantly ignoring.
"You...can just order me to be your maid, Miss. You don't have to ask," she offered slowly, as if she thought maybe I was either too stupid to know, or trying to play dumb.
"I guess so," I sighed, "but, I'm not going to force you to help me. I need someone I can trust. So you can say no. I'll just tell Kenric I decided I don't want a maid after all."
There was a long moment of silence after that.
All of the other maids shifted nervously, even I started to feel a little awkward under Margo's intense stare.
Maybe it was morbid curiosity, or maybe it was out of a desire to protect the other girls - the same desire that made her recklessly grab me earlier that morning - that she gave me a polite bow and finally said:
"I will be your maid, Miss."
I let out the breath I didn't realise I'd been holding, and gave her a feeble smile that I hope displayed my gratitude and not the pitiful sense of relief that washed over me.
The words had barely left her mouth, however, before the other maids started to leave.
They didn't give me a second glance, just turned and started filing casually out of the room.
An unexpected cold heat rose in my gut; it was a feeling I couldn't quite place. I was accustomed to being ignored, my previous life was certainly no picnic, but Evra was still the daughter of the duke. And someone they'd been mistreating for years. It ate me up to experience in person how little respect she'd been given.
"HEY!"
I yelled a little more loudly and aggressively than I meant to. A pang of burning pain shot up my throat, but I swallowed it down hard. All of the maids had frozen with fear, and were staring at me. Even Margo was eyeing me nervously.
Oh. I should have thought about what I wanted to say.
Floundering for words, face hot, I lamely managed: "You - uh - you have to wait until I dismiss you."
It felt like I was a schoolteacher scolding unruly kids, not the daughter of a Duke ordering her servants.
I knew Evra was seventeen, which put her at a similar age as the maids - though Margo seemed to be a few years older. But I was five years her senior, it seemed mean to take out my anger on a group of teenage girls whose lives were probably rough as it was.
They were bullies, no doubt, but they still had time. Maybe they could change.
"Then...may we go, Miss?" a young girl with a blonde ponytail asked.
...
Still...there have to be consequences for bad behaviour, right?
"No," I said. "You can stay. Here, in this room. Stand exactly where you are and don't move a muscle. I'll send someone to come and dismiss you in an hour or so."
It felt petty. But, an hour of discomfort for five years of mistreatment seemed like a pretty good deal for them.
"An hour?!" Another girl - who had awkwardly stopped mid-step - cried.
I was already halfway out the door, and pretended I couldn't hear her.
On the way back to my room, I asked Margo to take me to the manor's library.
I knew there was one, because it was a place Haydn frequented in the novel, since there were plenty of books on magic available. Not that Evra would have any arcane talent, but I needed as much information as I could get my hands on, and I figured it was the next best thing to a search engine.
The library was a decently sized affair. A circular room lined on all walls with books up to the ceiling. There were tall free-standing shelves segmenting the centre of the room into four sections and an area near a cold hearth with comfortable reading chairs and a large wooden desk. A desk which, at the moment, was strewn with what must be Haydn's schoolwork, discarded books, and empty ink bottles.
Luckily, there was no Haydn in sight.
For the children of nobility, especially in a fantasy novel, being educated was absolutely imperative. All of the best characters in the novels I'd read were able to educate themselves even without the help of tutors, and gain the upper hand - or at the very least an even footing with everyone else. I saw no reason why it couldn't be the same for me.
But, it was just a guess on which of the books would actually be helpful.
On one of the main standing shelves, I found a thick, dusty leather tome titled: Historical Nobility & the Lineage of the Continent.
It seemed promising, if a little dry.
Hidden behind the first row of the bottom-most shelf, like it had fallen and just been left, I found a small grey book titled: The Etiquette of Royalty: A Young Noble's Guide.
Definitely helpful.
I grabbed a couple more like that, something about the wars of the Empire, and another from Haydn's desk about the basic principles of magic.
I handed the first stack of books to Margo, and brushed off her look of disbelief. I also forgave her for raising an eyebrow as I contemplated and then eventually gave up on the tall, thin ladders used for reaching the books higher up. I didn't trust them to hold me, and didn't much feel like plummeting to my death.
"Margo." I finally said, after the awkward tension between the two of us became too much to bear, "let's set some boundaries."
"Boundaries, Miss?"
"I - I think it will be easier for both of us if we know what to expect from each other. Let's sit down, I'll go first."
"Yes, Miss."
We both sat across from each other on the sofas. I'd had plenty of time to figure out what I wanted to say while I was silently browsing library books, but it hadn't done much to calm my nerves.
I started with: "I will never hurt you. I'm done with that. That goes for everyone else in the house, too, but I wanted to make it clear. You're not in danger when you're with me. And if you're ever being treated badly by someone else, tell me, and I'll make sure it stops."
Her polite smile was more of a humouring grimace, but I continued anyway.
"You can draw my baths, and bring me water, and everything - but I'll be washing myself. Only help me get dressed if I ask for it. And, I like to eat alone. Otherwise, I'll leave the rest of it to you, since I don't really know what else you have to do as my maid."
I let her take all of this in for a minute or two, sitting with her brows furrowed and eyes on the floor. Then, I asked: "What about you?"
"Me, Miss?"
"Your boundaries, your expectations. You should let me know what they are."
"...I'd like two days off every month."
"You can have four," I said, "and if you want more, just ask."
She hesitated and her eyes slid back down to the floor. After a long moment, she said - so quietly that I had to lean in a little to catch it:
"The way you talk to me, Miss. Like we're equals. I'd...I'd like it if that continued."
Despite everything, my heart ached.
Plenty of novels had plenty of scenes with cruel maids being put in their place with a sacking, or a slap to the face. I can't lie and say it wasn't satisfying.
It's not even like I'm a staunch pacifist or anything. Sometimes violence takes care of your problems. But at the same time, like the idealistic pushover I am, I couldn't help thinking...
Why? Does it really have to be like that?
"Sorry if I hurt you this morning," I said gently.
Isn't there another way?
"I'm...I'm sorry too. I didn't help take care of you like I should have, Miss! I'll do better! I...I'm so sorry..."
There were tears in her eyes; they dropped like hot rocks onto the clenched hands in her lap.
I wondered if Evra would have liked to hear those words.
I couldn't speak for her, so instead I just sat quietly, and Margo cry.
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