Chapter 3

The truth

As the tension is growing in the room Ryan takes a deep breath and continues, “well ma it’s just that there’s something that I think you need to know, and I’ve been holding it in for years now and I need to just let it out”. Although Ryan hadn’t told her anything just yet deep down, she knew what was coming she just wished he’d say it. “look ma the thing is that I like lads I’m erm……gay” Tracy stands up and walks over and wraps her hands around him “I’ve always known Ryan, you are so brave for telling me and I can’t describe how proud I am of you, I thought you were going to say something like you got something pregnant” they all laugh, Ryan finally feels like he can start being unapologetically himself without having to be afraid about what she would say.

She looks over at Kevin “Kevin honestly thank you so much for being there for him I really do appreciate it so much you’ll never know how grateful I am to you”. Kevin smiles “would ya stop will ya yous are like a second family to me if it wasn’t for Ryan being there for me, I’d still be a huge closet case, it’s the least I can do for him, he's my rock. He’s like a brother to me”. Ryan smiles and hugs Kevin back. Tracy goes to the kitchen to make them all a cup of coffee. “See I told you she was going to be fine with it you had nothing to worry about” Ryan nods, his eyes full of tears for once they were tears of happiness because things went that well.

Tracy emerges back into the sitting room; they all sit back down and start to sip on their coffee. It's still boiling hot and the steam tickles their noses. Tracey thinks for a second “so tell me how long you have to been together”. The to boys look at eachother and Kevin gets the word in first “god no it’s not like that we're not together were just best friends”, Tracey hesitates “but you were literally just holding hands and let’s be honest you two are inseparable and not to mention all the times you’ve slept over and shared the same bed like seems obvious or am I putting 2 and 2 together to get 5”. Ryan chirps in “look I know it looks like that from the outside but honestly it’s not the case and anyway he has a fellah” Tracy chuckles “I’m taking the piss out of yous but for god’s sake don’t go messing around either of yous, I don’t want any grandchildren”. The boys look at each other awkwardly “eh ma I don’t think that’s how it works” they all laugh.

A few hours pass Tracey looks at the clock “that time already 11:45 how are you getting home Kevin, sure you can stay the night if you want just let your mam know”. Kevin is half asleep “yeah I’ll stay the night if that’s ok, suppose Ryan will need someone to look after him tomorrow account of his ‘migraine’ could I ring her off your phone please mines dead”.  Tracey hands her phone to Kevin and goes to get him a pillow and duvet. Kevin talks to his mam on the phone his mam agrees to let him stay the night and stay off school to make sure Ryan’s feeling ok.

Tracy plops the duvet and pillow on the floor beside him and takes back her phone when he’s done with it. Tracey looks over to Ryan “you didn’t really have a migraine, did you?” without even opening his mouth Tracey already knew the answer. “It's alright chap we all have bad days, and, in this case, I think it's best if you do take a couple of days off to sort yourself out and come to terms with it, you’re always welcome to stay here with him as well Kevin”. Ryan feels relieved that she’s taking it so well “thanks mam I appreciate it a lot”

Tracey heads to bed and leaves the two boys’ downstairs to watch a few films. “she’s got an early day in the office tomorrow” Ryan stated. The boys get all snuggles up and start watching some sappy teen rom-com movie about this boy who falls for this other anonymous boy in the town. The more Ryan watches the more he realises he can’t wait to have something like that. To just have someone to call him and get all cuddled up under a duvet with a movie and munchies on a cold winter's day when you can hear the rain pelting off the window. To be fair it was already the start of December so he knows that it could happen very soon if he puts his mind to it. He thinks about what Kevin had said about the training day situation and thinks that it is actually a great idea. Imagine two complete strangers meeting at an internet safety meeting and going from there to being madly in love with each other. I mean stranger things have happened so what’s stopping Ryan finding his first love in a room full of other hormonal teenagers. It’s something he’s willing to try. What’s the worst that can happen he’ll find a lad who will give him his first heartbreak

The two boys fall asleep as the shine of the sun rising was glowing. Soon enough after Tracey awoke and came down the stairs to get ready for the day of work she had ahead of her, she made herself a classic Irish breakfast, she made sure to make some for the two boys for when they woke up, there was the whole shebang the rashers so burnt and crispy they’d crumble if you barely dropped them just the way the boys like them, the sausages fried off on the pan the outside so chard and burnt they had smoke swirling off them, the eggs never got cooked to be sunny side up she felt like there’s no flavour that way so she refused to cook them that way, the rest was fairly bog standard in Tracey’s words. The tomatoes and mushrooms tossed on the pan till there cooked enough. The beans threw in the microwave somehow, they always come out bubbling and spitting out steam when they're done. Then it came time for the hash browns. She never told Ryan how she cooks her hashbrowns; it's her magic. Even though she just throws them in the air fryer for 20 minutes with a bit of salt and pepper. But that’s how she likes it, containing a little bit of mystery. She wrapped the boy’s food on a plate with tin foil on top trying her best not to make much noise as the tin foil was being wrapped. She signs up Ryan’s permission slip and leaves it on the countertop so he can bring it back into school when he goes back. She knows that he’ll need a bit of time before he goes back.

It's mid-day by the time the boys wake up. Ryan goes out to make them a cup of coffee and brunch and sees that his mam had already sorted them out with what was meant to be breakfast, but you know it technically was their breakfast. Ryan made the coffee and they sat down and ate their food. “god Kev it feels great to be able to wake up and not have the feeling that the weight of the world is on my shoulders'' Kevin's still half asleep “I’m delighted for you bud honestly your lucky to have an amazing mam if only I had an experience like that”, Ryan gives him a pat on the back, “I know it was hard for you Kev, but at least your mam accepts you for who you are now” Kevin smiles at Ryan, “you know I wouldn’t be where I am now if I didn’t have you and your mam with me along the way”

Kevin gets a text from his boyfriend Brian, as Kevin’s reading the text he looks at Ryan “wait until you hear this is actually the cutest” Kevin proceeds to read the text to Ryan “hey gorgeous, happy 6 months every day with you makes me realise that I’m so lucky to call you my boyfriend and I don’t ever want to lose you, you mean the whole world and more to me and don’t you ever forget that, I’ll pick you up at 8 dinner on me, can’t wait to see you” Kevin cant help but smile from ear to ear in joy, although Ryan is happy for Kevin he also wishes that he had someone who treated him like Brian treats Kevin.

Kevin looks over at him, “now it's your turn to go find someone who treats you like that” Ryan smiles at Kevin, “so lemme guess you’ll come back late tonight, guess your gunna get some ‘exercise’ after the meal” the boys laugh, “get your mind out of the gutter you, that might be the case but you don’t have to call me out like that” Kevin takes a sip from his cup. “Just remember what my mam said Kev wrap it up, she doesn't want to be a granny”, Kevin’s coffee sprays out of his mouth as he laughs so loud you could hear him from the top of the estate.

Ryan gets up to get a shower as he usually does when he wakes up, while in the shower he hears Kevin upstairs in his room, “Kev I swear to god you better not be rooting through my boxer drawer again or ill knock ya out”, Kevin stops for a minute “I’m looking for that new sexy pair you bought a few weeks ago, wanna look good for tonight if we do exercise you know”, “Kev stop referring to you having sex to being the same as exercise its cringy as fuck, and anyway there not in there any more I wore them when I meet up with that weird fella from Carlow. I told ya that already ya gobshit” Kevin stops rooting through the drawers. “While you’re up here being nosey pass me a towel round the door thanks” shouts Ryan, Kevin gets a towel from the hot press and passes it in around the door to Ryan.

A few minutes pass and Kevin shouts into Ryan “you out of that shower yet or what”, Ryan’s just getting dressed “yeah just after drying off there now”. Kevin bursts through the door “good cause I’m bursting for a piss”. Ryan grabs a towel to cover himself over with “jaysus Kev I’m in me fecking boxers'' Kevin makes awkward eye contact “not as if I ain't seen that sight before, you do remember me telling you to put on a pair when I stayed a night during your phase of sleeping nude” Ryan takes a minute before replying “well yeah that’s true I suppose but don’t lie you only wish I slept nude that night” Ryan laughs at Kevin, while he dropped the towel to finish getting changed. Kevin looks over at him, “your cheeky prick you’re wearing them wouldn’t even offer me a lend of them for the night” Kevin tuts. “Well sorry that I didn’t want to lend u my favourite pair of boxers let alone I had them on before the shower” explains Ryan.  Kevin squirms “you know what shove em where the sun don’t shine” the boys laugh.

A little while after Kevin starts rooting through Ryan’s wardrobe looking for something nice to wear on his date that night, that was a big bonus of the boy’s friendship they both wore the same size clothes so they could just swap and change when they wanted to, he decided on a black ripped jeans and a black and red checked flannel shirt and a pair of Ryan’s crisp white shoes.

Then the time came for Kevin to get washed and dressed for the date, Brian text him to tell him he was on the way and Kevin’s nerves shot through the roof, even though he had already had loads of dates with Brian this one was special they had been together for half a year, and things were going amazing. He got dressed and grabbed the present that he had made. It was a photo album with all their firsts, their first picture together, their first conversation, their first cinema ticket and the card that Brian had given him for their first month anniversary. Brian arrived and Kevin left, Ryan waved him off as he always did, he knew that if it had been the other way around that Kevin would be more than happy to do the same for him, as well as making sure that the fellah was good enough for him and treated him right. Now it was finally here Ryan had the house to himself he was about to get to work.