It was already dark outside when Keith’s woke up. He slowly peeled his eyes open and sat up with a soft groan, his neck and back sore from the position he was sleeping in. He stretched his arms out, cracking his joints before rubbing his eyes with a small sigh.

Those memories, of a time him and Lance were so close, were so vivid in his mind, almost like they had happened only yesterday. He dropped his hands to his lap and stared up at the ceiling with a shaky breath. It was blank, a few cracks and chipping paint beginning to peel off, barely visible in the dark light. He missed Lance’s room. He missed the large, comfy bed, the photos and and poster on his walls, the ceiling that was lit up like space. He missed everything.

It was killing him, not been able to talk to Lance like he wanted too, not been able to visit and see his family. Over the years, Lance’s family became his own. He had grown so close with his brothers and sisters, and his mother had treated Keith like one of her own. He had spent almost every spare second over with the Rodríguez’s, happy to have time away from his dad and pretend for a few brief moments that he had a real family once again. Now all that was gone.

He looked over to his right and stared at the empty space in the bed. More than anything, he wished he could one day wake up to find Lance by his side again, holding him close and whispering sweet nothings in his ear as they both slowly awoke from their slumber. He wanted to hold Lance in his arms, kiss him, touch him and call him his. I just wanted him there, smiling up at him like he used too.

He sat up and reached down into his workbag to grab his diary. He switched the old lamp on his bedside table on and tucked his legs under his body, leaning close to the light as he wrote a new entry about the dream he had, or, the memories that he was reminiscing over. It was almost a natural instinct to reach for his diary after something like this had happened. At first, he only used his diary once every week. But, as his feelings grew and the thoughts within his head began to overflow, he started writing at least once a day, sometimes twice or three times, just to get it all out in the open.

“God I’m pathetic.” He chuckled sadly as he looked back over the pages, all of them covered in scribbles and stories of Lance – among other things – like a sad, tragic love story.

He heard his phone vibrate and shook away his thoughts as he snapped the diary closed and placed it on top of his cupboard. He sighed heavily before he reached over and grabbed his phone from his bag. He switched the screen on and looked at the time. Just past seven o’clock. Under one hour until Lance’s friend’s party was suppose to start. He hummed before opening his messages. Sam, of course, he didn’t know who else to expect.

Sam (5:57PM) Hey Keith, hope the rest of your shift went well. Just wondering, have you given any more thought to James’s party? A friend of mine wanted me to go, she’s quite good friends with Lance and James. If you change your mind, let me know, I can pick you up.

Sam (7:13PM) Look, I’m not going to force you to come, but, at least message me to let me know you’re okay?

Keith read the messages and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, tugging at the loose strands. Would it really be so bad if he went? He didn’t have to drink, he’d just stay away from the alcohol, Lance and the football team. Shouldn’t be hard…right?

If he just stuck with Sam and his friend the whole time, maybe he could have a good time, let his hair down and have some fun for once in his life. Even if he did bump into Lance, it wouldn’t be the worse thing would it? He would just act like he always did, keep talking to a minimum, keep his distance and only watch from afar. There was no harm in that. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, and as much as he knew that it was a terrible idea, he did want to see Lance. Just watch him be happy and enjoy himself.

He re-read Sam’s messages almost a dozen times before he groaned and typed out a quick reply.

Keith (7:25PM) Pick me up in half an hour. I’ll come.

He sent the message before he could chicken out and quickly jumped from the bed and over to his wardrobe. What the fuck did you wear to a party? He rummaged through his drawers for almost fifteen minutes, pulling out shirt after shirt before he finally settled on something comfortable. His black skinny jeans, a grey shirt and his jacket that he wore just about everywhere outside of school and work. It was nothing fancy, just his usual causal self.

He stared at himself in the mirror, biting his lip as he stared up at his hair. He straightened it out with his fingers, pulling out the knots and making sure it sat nicely on his neck and shoulders. He gently twirled the end around his finger as he stared at himself. Maybe his dad was right, his hair was getting too long. Would Lance like him if he had shorter hair? He sighed and dropped the strand before moving to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

--

Half an hour later, Keith was stood on the pavement just outside his house, his arms wrapped around himself as he shivered in the cold. As he waited for Sam to arrive, he glanced back at the old house, debating whether or not he should stay where he was, or run back inside and crawl into bed.

Before he could come to a final conclusion, a car turned the corner and drove toward where Keith was standing, flashing its lights. Sam. He took a deep breath as he approached the car, fiddling nervously with the sleeves of his jacket. He really hoped he didn’t regret this decision.

“Look at you! Going out on a Saturday night…I’m so proud.” Sam smirked, making Keith roll his eyes as he opened the door and climbed into the car.

“Shut up.” Keith scoffed.

Sam just smiled, waiting for Keith to strap in before he drove off. “Sooo,” he drawled, hands fiddling with the steering wheel, “what made you change your mind? I know I was pushing quite a bit, but you seemed pretty adamant about not wanting to come.” He asked, face full of curiosity.

Keith just shrugged, turning his head to face out the window as he replied. “I dunno. I guess, you were right.” He sighed, “All I know is school, work and home. And I thought, if you’re there, I guess it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“I’m really glad you changed your mind. Trust me, it’ll be a good night. And you’ll get to meet Rebecca and James properly.” Sam smiled. “They’re really great people, I think you’ll get along quite well. They’re a bit…out there, but in a good way!”

Keith chuckled as he glanced over at the boy driving, smiling softly. He was lucky to have such a good friend, especially one that put up with him and all his crap without questioning or ever judging him. “If you say they’re good people, I’ll take your word for it.” He would never doubt Sam’s judgement.

Sam smiled at him, clutching the steering wheel as he pondered his next words. “You know, if it gets too much, or you just…wanna leave. Just tell me, yeah? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable so just let me kno-”

“Could you stop worrying about me for two seconds?” Keith sighed, shaking his head fondly at his older friend. “I’ll be fine! Okay? I’m a big boy, I can look out for myself.” He smiled, not wanting Sam to stress over him again. “Tonight isn’t about me. You deserve to have a good night too Sam. I know how stressed you’ve been with school and this tutoring gig. If anyone needs to let their hair down and relax, its you!”

Of course Keith was worried, mind reeling as he flickered through every possible scenario of what could go wrong during the night. But, he was determined to have a good time, and not make Sam stress and worry about him. He hated been a burden on people, hated that his best friend had sleepless nights because of him. He never wanted to be the cause of peoples stress and anxiety, especially his best friend. That’s why he was making the effort tonight, to show Sam that he could handle himself, that there was no need to worry about him constantly.

“I know, I know. And I will! I just…I worry about you, you know that.” Sam sighed, causing Keith to shake his head once more.

“You don’t need too. I’m fine, I promise. Just, lets not focus on me tonight, okay? I just want you to focus on yourself for once and enjoy your night. Can you promise me that?"

Sam hesitated, chewing his lips as he glanced between Keith and the road ahead of them. “Okay, okay-yeah, I promise.” He smiled. “But, please don’t think I won’t be there for you if something happens, alright?”

“You’re too good for me Sam, you know that right?” Keith smiled, appreciative to have someone so thoughtful in his life.

“Hey, that’s what best friends are for, right?” Sam chuckled, sparing Keith one last glance before he turned the radio up, music comfortably filling the space between them as they made their way toward the party.