*Please note that Leith is being misgendered because the others don't know. All the other reasons aren't valid to misgender someone.*
8-The aftermath
Leith's pov
I still can't believe what happened on Friday. He kissed me!!! I know he was drunk and all but he still kissed me. He doesn't kiss anybody while he's drunk right?!
What does this mean now? Does he even remember kissing me?! I'm so confused why did he kiss me if he doesn't like me? Wait, maybe he does like me? No, that's nonsense, we have been hanging out together for only a week. He can't possibly like me that fast, besides, it's clear as day he doesn't like me like that.
I'm still over the moon that he kissed me but to be honest, I didn't think that the first time I'd kiss Kenton would be while he was drunk.
Ugh, he didn't actually want to kiss me, did he? He probably thought I was someone else or something. No one knows what they are doing when they are drunk, especially not wasted.
Even if it makes me happy he kissed me, I don't know him well and he doesn't either. I don't even know what I'm getting myself into. If only I didn't have a massive crush on him things would have been different. I can't forget that he knows that I like him. Wait, did he kiss me because it was a dare?! No, it's not like him.
Ugh, I need to get a grip on myself, I can't keep making myself false hopes or overthink the kiss. It was just a kiss, yeah just a kiss.
But I can't really help but analyze the kiss and what might have led to that.
So now that I think about it, he was pretty much pissed when I was talking to his friends. Why is that? Ugh, why does Kenton have to be so confusing? What I hate even more is that he hasn't texted me since then.
It's Monday now and I'm scared. What if he remembered and he doesn't want to speak to me anymore? That would explain why he isn't talking to me but I don't want that to change. It's a miracle that I get to be around Kenton.
It isn't easy to have more than just hooking up with him. It seems like he thinks he owes a favour to everyone. I want to ask him why but I'm afraid I'll offend him. I feel like we are on rocky terms. It feels like everything could go back to what it used to be and I'm scared.
My friends pushed me to tell him my feelings and now I have to take my only chance to be close to him even if it's only as friends. I know that I don't deserve his kindness and his attention but still, I have to enjoy the moment while it lasts.
I'm dreading the moment I'll see him and I really don't know how I should act around him now after last time but I can't let things continue being that way.
His friends like me so that's a plus. Ugh, why do I have to overthink everything!? I keep imagining those scenarios even if I try to remind myself that it's not that bad.
"Boo!"
"Ahh!" I jump from my chair only to turn around and notice Sarah.
"Oh, sh*t, I didn't think it would work."
"What were you doing there? You scared the sh*t out of me!!"
"Sorry, sorry. You were busy thinking and you wouldn't notice that I was here so I had to catch your attention."
"Not funny at all. Never do that again."
"I know, I know. Sorry but what's with the sad face?"
"What do you mean sad face?! Do I look like I'm in a bad mood?"
"Yeah, you do. So I assume something is bothering you for you to ignore the fact I'm here and have this sad little face?" I pinch her on her arm.
"Ow, ow!! What was that for?!" I laugh.
"That's what you get for wearing short sleeves when it's cold outside."
"But I'm hot right now." I touch her forehead.
"You don't seem to have a fever through."
"Are you seriously checking my temperature? Seriously Leith?"
"But why not? It's not every day that someone complains they are hot when it's literally cold outside. It's almost winter what are you thinking?"
"Oh, you know me, Leith. I'm always the weird one."
"Yeah, I already know. Wait, where's Mattie?"
"Eh, I don't know I saw him earlier when he arrived but instead of coming right towards me he went somewhere else."
"Hm, strange."
"Ok, enough of this. I feel like you have something to tell me." Sarah looks at me with her inspective eyes.
"Let's go sit there."
"Yeah,"
We go sit on a bench near where we are. I have yet to see Kenton or his friends for the matter, so that's good. I don't need to stress even more than I already did.
"So what's eating you up?"
"Don't kill me for not telling you but on Friday I went to Kenton's house."
"Wait what?!"
"Let me finish explaining. We went to his backyard steps made of stone and we talked for a few hours. I ended up telling him I'm nonbinary."
"How did he take the information?" Sarah says concerned.
"Stop interrupting me."
"Sorry"
"Not well actually. At first, he wouldn't accept what non-binary meant. It took a few explanations before he tolerated that fact. I told him my pronouns and the name I want him to use but he has yet to use them."
"Hm Kenton isn't as nice as I thought he was but oh well that was to be expected. Men are trash."
"Sarah," I gave a warning glare and she luckily got it.
"Please continue."
"Ok, anyways, he actually invited me to go to a party afterwards."
"He did what?!" Sarah exclaims loudly and everyone looks at her strangely.
"Can I just please explain?"
"Yeah, fine."
"So yeah, he did invite me to a party but the party was at a girl's house. Of course, I didn't like the fact that it was a girl's party. I think her name was Bianca. I went to the party but he mostly hung out with others. I was left all alone, all invisible. It was fine by me but I was starting to regret going to the party."
"That doesn't sound like it went well. Gosh, sounds like Kenton really isn't okay with you being non-binary. Then again, I don't know a single guy except Mattie and your brother who would get you being non-binary. I take it back, Kenton is trash."
"He's not that bad. I at least got to meet his friends later on. I kinda forced him to but it was cool."
"How was his friends? Were they cool with you?"
"Let me talk."
"Ok, ok" she rolls her eyes.
"His friends like me, they asked me tons of questions to my surprise. Apparently, Kenton didn't let them talk to me. But that's beside the point. I don't know why but later in the party, Kenton went to get some alcohol and he got drunk real fast.
I don't know exactly why but he sounded pissed to me. Weirdly, he gave killer glares to his friends whenever they asked me questions. Though, the biggest thing is when later on Kenton took me by my arm and brought me to a washroom and kissed me."
"He did what?!"
"Yeah, he did..." I blush still remembering the kiss, his lips...
"Omg, this is huge! Kenton probably likes you back!"
"Shh stop spouting nonsense. He was drunk! He doesn't like me...He probably doesn't remember. I was hoping he would text me like he usually does but he hasn't texted me since. Do you think it's because he's mad at me?"
"Oh no, that's not good. Then it's worse than I thought. Well, even if he was drunk it means he remembers."
"You think he does?"
"I mean, unless he's a douche as he appears to be so, I don't see why he would suddenly stop texting you. Maybe he doesn't know what to do just like you or who knows he does like you back!"
"But that's exactly what scares me, the fact he does remember. Maybe he didn't mean to kiss me and now he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."
"Leith, calm down. It's fine. I can't tell you you're right but you kinda can't really know for sure he doesn't want to do anything with you anymore until you really talk to him."
"But..."
"Hey guys!" We immediately stop talking and look up to said person.
"Oh, it's you," I say coldly.
"Um, bad timing?" He smiles awkwardly.
"Yeah, bad timing Mattie. We are discussing Leith's love issues."
"Wait, what kind of love issues are we talking about here?"
We don't even have time to tell him about what it was that the bell rings. Well, thank goodness the bell rang. I don't want Mattie to know too. He'll certainly force me to speak to Kenton. I can persuade Sarah to not do that but I can't persuade both of them. When they both agree on something there's no stopping them.
"Oh well, guess you'll know later, loser!"
"Hey, come here!"
Love the chaos between them but still, it doesn't beat Kenton's friends.
—————
Now that Chemistry is over it's now break time and that means telling Mattie about what happened between me and Kenton. Oh gosh, I'm already dreading this moment. I already know that he'll force me to talk to Kenton. Sure it's thanks to them that Kenton talks to me but still I'd like to take things on my own accord!
Sometimes I don't know why it's Sarah and Mattie who give me advice for my crush when they aren't even dating anyone in the first place. Still, I listen to their advice as they are the only ones I can talk to.
"Now that class's over. You guys got to tell me what's going on! I've been waiting for an hour already, don't make me wait some more! I bet Leith told you firsthand."
"Actually, no he only told me this morning when that drama happened on Friday."
"Ohhh drama you say?" He says with a big smile. Now that's scary.
"Come on, tell him. Mattie is dying to know already."
"Gosh, why are you guys always so hungry for some tea?"
"I don't know because it's fun and interesting?"
"We only have 5 minutes so, I'll tell as much as I can."
"Yeah, yeah go on."
—————-
"I swear if you don't go speak to Kenton on your own I'm dragging you to him."
"Seriously do you have some kind of connection with them?"
"What no? Of course not. It's pretty easy to talk to Kenton."
That doesn't make any sense. Mattie never talked to Kenton in his entire life, am I missing something?
"You mean I talk to him."
"Yeah, yeah, right..." Mattie says awkwardly smiling.
"Let's head to our lockers, the bell is gonna ring in literally a few seconds."
"Good idea."
And indeed the bell rings as predicted.
—————
Now the moment I have been dreading is happening. I have to go talk to Kenton. I'm so nervous right now.
I don't want to do this but Mattie and Sarah have been begging me too and I kinda promised I would.
I could always text him but I should do it in person. I want to know the truth, I want to make sure there's no way lies get told.
Like why has he not talked to me once? Texted me or even looked my way? I get we've only started last week but unless he's bothered by me being non-binary or the kiss, I don't see why he'd do this. Regardless, this isn't helping my nerves right now.
Though sometimes I wonder if he's actually waiting for me to talk to him, I doubt it, Kenton is always the first one to approach someone and isn't afraid of going right through it. Yeah, I've noticed.
But I can't help but think he might still be waiting for me to talk to him so he can officially tell me we are no longer whatever we are. He's most likely to do it himself but it's still a possibility.
Who am I kidding? Are we even friends? Probably not. I don't know who Kenton really is eceoxt that I have feelings for him.
Doesn't matter, OK, here I go.
"Hey..."
Everyone at the table looks up at me and instantly it gets awkward even if the guys are smiling at me.
I assume what has got to be Kaitlyn whispers in Kenton's ear.
"You want to talk to me?" Kenton says.
"Yeah"
He gets up and he heads up towards me. Well, this is definitely awkward.
"Um...You could've just texted me, you know that?" How ironic, he's the one not texting me.
"How about we go somewhere more quiet?"
"Oh, sure..."
We head off somewhere else in the school.
"It's way too cold to be outside today so we won't go where we studied together last week."
"So what is it?"
"Kenton, are you avoiding me by any chance?"
"Avoiding you?" He says confused.
"Is this about what I told you on Friday?"
"What? I don't get it?" Kenton says confused. Why's he so confused?
"Like I get that you don't want to talk to me anymore but do you really have to act like that?"
"Woah, don't misunderstand! Who told you I wanted to stop talking to you?!"
"I just assumed since you haven't texted me and you didn't even try to talk to me once since Friday."
"Oh...sorry about that...I thought you were the one that didn't want to be around me anymore."
"Wait, why would I not want to hang out with you anymore?"
"Um...well I think you know why..."
Is he referring to me being non-binary or the kiss...?
Should I just play it cool to see how he'll react?
"Yeah, I know..." He starts blushing.
Wait is he blushing? Omg is he for real? He was actually referring to the kiss! What does this mean now? Does it mean he actually remembers what he did on Friday?! Is he embarrassed, ashamed?! Wait, why would Kenton be embarrassed about it?
"I know you're imagining things...but please don't. I know I was drunk and all but yeah, I do remember..." He looks at me all awkwardly with his intense blue eyes my way and I blush.
"Okay so wow...Do you regret it...?" I say insecure.
"I mean...I was drunk, yeah, you remember that." He chuckles awkwardly.
Why is Kenton acting so awkward? Is this a sign? Is Kenton really losing his confidence over a kiss?
"Yeah..." I smile awkwardly too.
"The truth is that...I haven't been avoiding you on purpose...I just, I don't know why but for some reason I've been quite confused since the party...I feel weird whenever I think about you...I don't normally feel like that after I kiss people...I don't even think about that person...Gosh, I'm sorry I kissed you...I know that you like me and...and..." Omg! Am I hearing this right?
"Stop, just stop rambling. What do you mean you feel weird when you think about me?"
"I...I don't know, forget I ever told you that."
"No, tell me."
"It's nothing really. I just, I don't know that kiss made me...realize things that I never realized before. I'm not used to those kinds of feelings." Omg...Kenton is opening up to me...Could it mean he likes me? I need to find out...
"What do you mean by that?"
"I....didn't think I would feel whatever it is that I'm feeling right now. I'm so confused right now. It's unfair that you like me and I kissed you and..."
"What?"
"Can I kiss you?" He looks at me in the eyes. Gosh, he's so breathtaking like that...He's the unfair one. Wait, kiss?!
"Sorry, what?" Ugh, I'm so dumb...
"I...sorry no never mind. I shouldn't have assumed..."
"What makes you think that..?" He looks at me intensely and I stare at him too. This is getting dangerous...We are in public too...
"Wait, do you mean...?"
"Yeah..." I say in a breath.
"Oh gosh, why do I feel so nervous right now?"
"I thought you already did that with plenty of others before?"
"I did it's just it's not the same OK? It's you." Oh gosh...This isn't a dream, is it?
"Hm"
"Why does it seem like you aren't faced with this, like at all?"
"I still don't know if you're lying or not."
"Do you think I'm lying if I do this?"
He suddenly comes closer and takes me by my hoodie.
What is he doing? I can feel his breath...
Without realizing it, he covers our faces with his hands to shield the view and then just...kisses me.
Is this happening for real?! Wait, this is not a dream, right? I hope not!
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